Session 10: Goal Setting Part 7 – Overcoming Obstacles On The Road To Achievement

Hey, we're back. It's good to have everyone here. I am really excited to be here. For those of you that don't know me, my name is William Wood, and today is an amazing day. And we're gonna be learning some awesome stuff.

We've been studying goal setting in depth. In fact, if you've learned more, for those of you that have been around, if you've learned more about goal setting over the last few weeks than you've learned in your entire lifetime, post something in the comments. Like, I wanna know what you guys are learning. I'm actually gonna go into the comments here and take a peek at what you're saying. But truly, we've taken a deep, deep dive into it because this is not the advanced stuff.

This is the basics. This is blocking and tackling. In fact, years ago, I went in for a job interview. This is, man, probably 2002 or 2003 or something like that. I went in for a job interview, and the guy that I was interviewing with was a huge Vince Lombardi fan.

Now, those of you that know me well know that I am not a mass, I'm like not a major football fan. I'm like, isn't that where you make a hole-in-one, you know, at the basket at the end of the field or something like that? Like, I really have no idea what football is, but I do respect, I do deeply respect excellence in any field, and this guy said, well, Vince Lombardi is my absolute hero, and there's this book that I love, and so I went out and I bought the book because I was interviewing for a job. Went out and bought the book, and I read it between our first interview and our second interview, and I was really impressed by his philosophy, and one of the things that impressed me about Vince Lombardi is that, championship football team, I think they won the NFL championship three years in a row. An NFL champion team, he brings them back for spring training the next year, and he said, gentlemen, we're gonna start at the beginning.

He grabbed a football, and he held up the football, and he pointed to it, and he says, gentlemen, this is a football, and then he started talking about how the football was made of pigskin. It was leather, it was, and he talked about the dimensions and the cords that were on it. See, I don't even know what it's called, right? Like, the different parts of the football. Then he brought him to the football field, and he says, he brought him right over to the end zone.

He says, gentlemen, this is the end zone, and then he started walking along, and he says, this is the 10-yard line, and this is the 20-yard line, and this is the 30-yard line. It was straight on down to the other end zone, and he literally went through the basics of football, and he went in great depth into those basics, and then they ran, I think at the time they were running like 13 plays as an NFL team. The average NFL team at the time was running 44 plays in their playbook, and the playbook was like super, super top secret, and they would run 13 plays, only 13 plays, and when he would go in to compete against his competitors, he would literally bring his team's playbook with him, deliver it, hand deliver it to the opposing coach, and say, these are the 13 plays that we're going to run. See if you can stop us, and they were unstoppable. They were almost undefeated, and they won three Super Bowl championships back to back to back.

Now again, even if you're not a huge football fan, there's something to learn there, and what there is to learn is that there is an impressive power in mastering the fundamentals. Couple more stories. I studied judo for a while. I've been a lifelong martial artist. I'm not a Wing Chun wizard like Dave, for those of you that know my brother, but I've been a lifelong practitioner of the martial arts, and I studied judo for about three years while I lived in Oregon, and there were a couple of instructors there that had coached at the Olympic level, and had high, high level students, and I think one of the guys, there was like a ninth degree black belt, which is like almost unheard of.

There's only a handful of them in the entire world, and every time that the national championships, and then the world championships would happen, they would get the videotapes, and they would do an analysis of the different throws that are made. Now in judo, there's something like 67 throws. My memory's probably a little off on that. There's something like 67 throws, and then there's like variations on each throw, so that there's literally hundreds of different throws that can be made, but in most international competitions, in most world tournaments in judo, there's something like four throws that account for like 90 to 95% of all the techniques that are used to win a judo match, like four. They're the four basic throws that you learn right away at the beginning, and I think it was Bruce Lee who said, fear not the man who knows 10,000 kicks, but the man who has done one kick 10,000 times.

What our judo instructor said is he said this, and this really brings us back down into the fundamentals, and why we're spending so much time on goal setting, so that we get the basics, right? So that we, yeah, like someone said, so we can get out of kindergarten, right? And that's okay. We want to stay in kindergarten until we master what's at the kindergarten level, and then we move into first grade, and then we go into second grade, then we go into third grade, and we go on until we have literally developed a lifelong mastery in what we're developing, but here's what my judo instructor said. He said, to develop mastery of a technique, you need to not repeat it 10,000 times, but you need to repeat it 10,000 times against a resisting opponent, someone who wants to take you down, someone who wants to pin you, someone who wants to take you out.

And he says, when you have repeated a technique 10,000 times against a resisting opponent, you are ready to use it in combat. And I was like, whoa, that really struck home with me. And so this goes back to the basics, and so he drilled us on the basics over and over and over again, just like Lombardi drilled us on the basics over and over and over and over again. So we're gonna be drilling the basics here, and every time, we're layering in a little bit more. And yeah, Vanessa says, be a master at what you do.

For those of you that have watched, speaking of my brother in Kung Fu, for those of you that know my brother and have watched him with his Kung Fu practice, you'll notice that he does the same four things over and over and over again, over and over and over and over again, to the point where some people get sick of watching his Chi Sao videos, and he doesn't even always post them, right? It's like, that's what he does, you know? He does Chi Sao over and over and over and over again. So anyway, let me just scroll through these here. Let me see the comments.

Diana says, yeah, I'm not a sports fan, but I love sports movies and sports books, so inspirational. Vince Lombardi is a great, is an absolute great one to study and to look at how he does that. So yeah, so we got some people who are saying this is great goal training, and I am glad that you guys have enjoyed this. Ann Ball says, hello all, right? Ann Ball from BC, Canada here.

Hey, how you doing, Ann? So anyway, all right, cool. Let's go ahead and let's dive into the topic for today, because we're still talking about goal setting, and we're really talking about something that is an absolute foundational skill. Now, why goal setting? Just for a minute, let's back up, and let's take a look at why this is important at all.

Like, why are we taking so much time? Number one, it is a basic. What we're really doing inside of this product here is we are delivering content that is designed to create performance. Performance in who? Performance in yourself and performance in others.

So how do you get the most out of yourself, and how do you get the most out of the people around you? How do you get people to go above and beyond the basics and to really rise up to the occasion and to take their life into the next level? That's exactly what we're learning right now. So we're learning the secrets to unlocking human performance and to getting people to the next level. So are you ready?

Are you ready? If you're ready, put something in the comments below. We're going to dive into the next topic. Let me draw something out here for you, and I'm going to do a quick review of where we've been, and then I'm going to tell you a story or two that sets up where we're going here for the rest of the day. So hang tight here.

Let me just draw this out. Okay, so this says goals right there. Somebody give me a thumbs up. Vanessa, give me a thumbs up or something if you can see this. Yep, we can see it.

Okay, cool. So right over here, once we get into goal setting, we want to help people set a specific direction and to get clear and specific, and that's what we talked about, I think, on the first week that we were doing this. So we're going to talk about goals, I think, on the first week that we did that, and that's just kind of so we have direction, clear, specific. Then the second thing that we start looking at is we start looking at motivation, and then we look at, after we look at motivation, then we start looking at evidence. How does the client know they have a problem?

How will they know that the problem has been solved, right? Or how will they know that the goal has been completed? How will they know that they've really made any progress, right, and so that's what we talked about last week. This week, we're into what I'm calling the systemic impact, the systemic impact of goal setting, and this sounds a little fuzzy right now, and my goal is, here in the next minute or two, to make this a really clear concept as I tell you a story or two, but this is where we are right now. These are the four pillars of helping yourself set a goal and helping someone else set a goal.

Direction, clarity, specificity, motivation, evidence, and systemic impact. Once we have that, we really have a recipe to start coaching ourselves or coaching someone else, and this will lay the foundation for almost everything else that we do. So this is, the last weeks have been me holding up the football and saying, gentlemen and ladies, this is a football, this is the end zone, right, this is the field goal, these are the yard lines, and we're just mapping out the basics of the territory so that we can dive in to the next fundamental, and then we'll probably switch up and go into marketing stuff for a little while, and how to go out there and promote yourself as a passion-based coach or as a passion-based business, as a helper, whether you're building an internal team, whether you're a boss, whether you're building a local business, or whether you're promoting an affiliate offer, whatever you're doing. So we'll come back around and we'll talk about some of the business strategies that work, and then we're going to wind back around probably into a little bit of languaging, how to use your language for high impact. So with that in mind, let's go ahead and let me tell you a story or two that'll illustrate what the systemic impact is and how it relates to goal setting and why it's one of the most important things.

In fact, if I were to say if there were one thing that was most important on this list, it would be a combination of clarity, well, I mean, how do you choose? Probably clarity and ecology and motivation, probably in that order. Clarity, ecology, or, sorry, clarity, systemic impact, or ecology, and motivation. So let's go ahead and talk about systemic impact. So when I started to lose weight, so if you guys go back like a couple years and you look at my pictures, you'll notice that I had more weight on me, like a lot more weight, like 40 pounds more than I have right now, probably 50 pounds more at my very, very thinnest, and so I had a lot more weight.

Well, as I was losing weight, the first 10 days I went into the goal, I went in like full guns blazing, and I was like powerful and strong, and I was following my diet to the T, and I was crushing every objection that came up, and then like day 10 came along, and I absolutely had a massive meltdown. And for those of you that have ever set a goal to lose weight, maybe you know what I'm talking about. When I had a massive meltdown, it was like, day 10 came around and my brain started to say things like, if you don't eat sugar, you are going to die, right? And it was like, it felt that intense, like you are literally not going to live. Your existence will cease if you don't have some chocolate, like right now.

And that was before I had reintroduced chocolate into my daily plan. I mean, I was at the end of my 10th day, and I was just like, because it was like that painful. Now, if you know what I'm talking about, if you've ever been on a diet, say something in the comments for me, right? Give me an amen here and say, yeah, I've been there, right? I've been there.

And because the reality is, is that I'm going to give you some very, very bad news. And this relates to the systemic impact that we're talking about, and I'll define it here in a minute. And that is, is that when you go for a goal, you will run into obstacles. It's not a maybe, it is not a possibility. It is not unlikely.

It is exactly what happens when you get a goal. So I have very, very bad news for you. If you ever set a goal or help someone set a goal, whatever emotional blocks or psychological blocks that are on the inside of you will show right up on the surface, and they will come to the forefront of your attention. So what's the reason that people, for example, don't say, hang on, we have Kimberly Tilley saying, I've done 28 days of juice rebooting. The first four days, I thought I was going to die.

Yeah, it gets easier, right? And we got a bunch of people saying that they've been there. Lynn Brown had an excellent video this morning about obstacles not stopping in the middle of the road. Okay, yeah, but this is what happens. We all have obstacles and they will come up, right?

So if you're like in mystical, magical fairyland, and you're like, oh, I'm going to set a goal, and all I have to do is get really clear about what I want, and then visualize it once. And like, I will magically have my goal. Probably not. I mean, I've helped now thousands of people all over the world, and I can tell you that every time, every time, like without, I'm trying to think if there's been an exception, maybe once, that people will go for a goal and then, poof, obstacles show up. Now, there are different types of obstacles, and this goes into systemic impact.

Some of the obstacles are internal, like they were for me. Like the mind came out raw with fangs. Eat sugar, right? And like started screaming at me. And other times you bump into other people, right?

So it would be like, you know, your spouse, you come home and they've got like cheesecake, your favorite type of cheesecake with a little bit of fresh whipping cream right on top with a side scoop of Häagen-Dazs ice cream. And they say, honey, I made something specially for you because I thought you would enjoy it. See, they had forgotten that you had started your diet or maybe they were secretly trying to sabotage you or something, right? And you look at it and you go, oh, cheesecake. Right, and it's like singing love songs to you.

Sing like, eat me, eat me, eat me. And you're like, just, you can like, you know, there's like drool dripping down the side of your face and you just like, you know, the monster is rising up out of your chest and it's like, as you're ready to go, like eat the cheesecake, right? I mean, so there's internal obstacles and then there's external obstacles. So as this relates to, how does this relate to systems thinking? Okay, so we're going to pop back in, we're going to define it now.

And I want you to think about your current goals that you're going for. And I want you to think about the types of obstacles that come up because the obstacles relate to the systemic impact. Okay, now another word for systemic impact, if you want to make it like simple, if your clients resonate better with this or if you resonate better with this, are obstacles. Stick holes. Okay.

Obstacles. You go for a goal, bang, an obstacle pops up in the middle of the road. You go for a goal, bang, an obstacle comes up. You make a little progress, bang, an obstacle comes up. Obstacle can be internal and the obstacle can be external.

Everybody do this with me. Point to your head. Come on, join me here. Point to you too, Vanessa, right? Okay, point to your head, right?

Now I want you to say out loud, there are internal obstacles, right? Repeat it out loud. There are internal obstacles. There are obstacles in my head. There are obstacles in my head.

Now point outside, right? Like you're pointing outside to something outside of you and repeat out loud. There are external obstacles. There are obstacles out there, right? There are people, places, things that will come up and put roadblocks in your path.

Now, because the first client that you're enrolling in this program for success and personal development is yourself, the first thing that you've got to become aware of is that if you set a goal, any worthwhile goal, there will be an obstacle and there will probably be more than one. For me, as I was losing weight, there were obstacles at day 10. There were obstacles right around the three-week mark to a lesser degree, to a greater degree at the six-week mark, to a greater degree at like the, I think it was right around 12-week mark and then like every three weeks after that, there was like some minor or major obstacle that popped up and most of them were internal obstacles. So as you go for goals, one more time, touch your head, say, there's obstacles in here, right? Well, what kind of obstacles show up?

Well, you can have emotional obstacles show up. You can have fear. You can have anger. You can have sadness. You can have ambivalence, right?

Ambivalence or sometimes in the field, we call it incongruence. When it's like, I kind of want it and I kind of don't. I had a client that said, I know I need to let go of the past, but part of me thinks if I do that, it's like saying it's okay and it never happened. So part of me wants to do it and part of me doesn't. It's ambivalence.

And you'll actually see this in people's body language. This is exaggerated, but you'll see this kind of movement in people's body language. You see this with their head, right? Because they're kind of like, I mean, there's little movements that don't mean that, but there's like, if people are doing like, well, squinty eyes and bouncing the head back and forth, or you'll see people gesturing, you know, I kind of want to move forward and I kind of don't. You know, it's like on the one hand, I think this would be a good idea, but on the other hand, this might not.

Okay, that's internal systems. That's internal obstacles, ambivalence, unresolved emotions, right? That's one kind of. That's one. It's a psychological obstacle.

The other kind of obstacle would be an external obstacle. Where can external obstacles show up? Well, I was just working with a client, like literally just right before this, on time blocking. And he knows who he is. And we've all gone through this, right?

And the first obstacle that he ran into with time blocking is he's like, man alive. Like if I actually do everything that I want to do, I need like 47 hours in a day. How do I do everything? And the answer is, well, you don't. Not if it really will take you 47 hours.

You've got 24 and you gotta sleep. So you've got 16 hours a day. You know, maybe for a little while you can cut on sleep, but you cut on sleep for too long and the body starts to get thrown out of whack too. You got six hours. So you gotta make some decisions.

That's an external time constraint. For some people, they're like, I don't have the finances. I got a message on Facebook Messenger this week that says I have a big financial goal, but I'm running short on money. What do I do? That's an external obstacle.

I don't have the finances. I don't have the time. I don't have the resources. I don't have the contacts. I don't know how to do this.

All of those would be examples of external, external obstacles. So one more time, point to your head, because I want to drive this in, okay? And just repeat after me. There's obstacles in there, right? Now point outside, right?

Say there are obstacles out there. And what are you likely to run into as you do, you know, as you really go for your goal, as you really go for a goal, you're likely to run into both kinds of obstacles. Obstacles in here, obstacles in the heart, obstacles out there. So in the head, in the heart, out there. And that pretty much sums up what the systemic impact means.

Now here's the thing. I actually think, especially in the early phases of goal setting, it is very important to be completely honest with yourself about the reality of your obstacles. And what I see a lot of people doing is they will minimize the obstacles. Now you don't want to let an obstacle stop you. I am on the same page there.

But if you don't even recognize that it's there, what will happen usually is you will run forward at top speed until you ram your forehead into it. And if the wall happens to be thicker than your forehead, the wall wins, right? On the other hand, if you know there's a wall there, you can go rent a bulldozer and you can smash the wall down. But if you don't see the obstacle coming, you can bloody your forehead. Now you might not correctly identify every obstacle before it comes up, but you want to do your darndest to bring them up to the surface right away so that you can go over them, under them, through them, rent the bulldozer, get some dynamite, metaphorically speaking, don't really blow things up.

Okay, that's bad, land in jail. But like, you know, get some dynamite, blow it up and be ready for the internal and external obstacles that come up, right? So here's what I want you to do. I want you to take a minute, go into the comments right now and I want you to post what are you learning right now as it relates to internal and external obstacles and your personal success. I want to see a couple of comments.

What are you learning? Take a minute just to write it down. And while you're doing that, I'm going to go ahead and we're going to do an exercise here. And I'm actually, Vanessa, if you could find a couple of people, I should have asked earlier today, but if we could find a couple of people, like two people to bring out, I want to run a quick exercise and I want to demonstrate something here in a minute and it'd be really useful. So who wants to be coached?

Who wants to be coached? And if you do, we'll get you a link and we'll go ahead and bring you out. But what did you learn? Yeah, both obstacles are inevitable. That it's all part of the process.

Obstacles are always going to be around inside and outside and we have to decide what we're going to do about them. Obstacles will arrive, okay? And we have Raymond, it looks like, who may want to be coached. Okay, Janet wants to be coached. That's probably enough.

If we can't get those two on, let's get somebody else on. How to be patient, okay? Learning that perhaps you can take your patients through an exercise where they list their possible obstacles. Absolutely, in fact, what I did, I sent this to Michelle earlier and it probably won't be up right away. I will also post a link in the group after we're done.

I listed, I posted two things here and I'm just going to go ahead and show them to you what they look like. But I'm going to run you through a couple of questions that I ask a lot of my clients and I'm going to give you the worksheets so that now that you guys have been, now that you've been trained on goal setting, you know what to look for. You know how to look for clarity. You know how to look for specificity. You know how to look for motivation, how to scale motivation.

You know how to help somebody become more motivated by helping them focus in on their why in a very deep way. You know how to look for evidence and after today, you'll also have some really powerful questions that you can ask people to clarify their obstacles. So two things, let me just show you what I'm going to be putting up in the group and I'd like you to read these. I wrote this for a group of coaches that I was training and what I called obstacles, here in this paper I call ecology. But in this, I talk about the structure for working with a client, right?

So this is, now, client. Some of you go, I'm not a coach. Everybody is an influencer. Everybody in here has brothers and sisters or parents or coworkers or employees or team members that we're trying to influence. Same process, guys.

So no matter what you call yourself, no matter what label, whether you're a coach or a mentor or a role model or a big brother, you've got somebody that you're trying to influence, you've got somebody who you're trying to help and you've probably got people in your life that are coming up and seeking guidance from you or you're growing into that capacity. So what this is, first thing I talk about, this is my structure, my overall structure for running a client session, right? Then after that, I go into what I call a well-formed outcome, which is what we're talking about right now. Well, an outcome is simply a goal-setting process. A well-formed outcome is how to set goals well, right?

How to make sure that a client is actually thinking through their goal-setting process. And then I go through and I talk about some of the different ways to think about it. Then I talk about different types of processes that you can use for getting clarity, getting motivation, ecology, ecology again is just studying the obstacles that come up and then defining evidence. So this is gonna be up. I'm also gonna post a link to this in the Facebook group.

I'm not gonna take the time to go through it. I'm just gonna say there's some really good stuff in here and there's some stuff that I haven't covered but is right available inside of the document. So this is document number one that I've got for you. This is less than 10 pages, but it might be like, I don't know, eight or I don't even know, six to eight pages, something like that. This is the second document that I've got for you and this is a goal-setting worksheet that I've developed and this probably has taken me around 100 hours of development time over time.

So this is not something that I threw together. It's something that I've thought about a lot. I've rehashed the questions. I'll probably end up rehashing the questions again. I've spent a ton of time putting this together so that a brand new person can sit down with a client or they can sit down with a team member or they can sit down with an employee and right away, especially once they know why they're asking these different types of questions, you're going to be able to go through in a sequence and ask questions of the client or help your employee or help your team member or help your child very quickly identify clarity, motivation, obstacles, evidence, right?

One more time, clarity, motivation, obstacles, evidence. Not necessarily in that order. They kind of move through different orders as you go through it. So the first thing I have people do is I have people get specificity and clarity, right? Writing out their outcome.

But then there's questions in here and I'm going to read through not all of them but some of them that I think will be useful for you, right? What will your outcome get for you? This is a why type question. How will you know when you've achieved what you want? That's an evidence question.

How motivated are you to achieve your outcome? Now this is a tricky one. This is a motivation question but this is also a question where you're looking for a congruence issue or kind of that clarity thing. So if you're like, well I'm like a 70 out of 100. Well what does that tell you?

Tells you they have some reservation. They're highly motivated but they've got some reservations. What are those reservations called? Obstacles, right? Probably obstacles of the head or obstacles of the heart.

And there you go, right? So go ahead and mute yourself there and are there any reasons why pursuing this goal might not be in your own best interest or the best interest of those closest to you, family, et cetera? If so, what are those reasons? For example, I had one guy who said I want to double my income this year and I said what will that, I said what will that require of you? What will that require?

I'm going to go ahead and mute you here, Janet. Okay, so what will that require of you? And the client said, well that will require me to work an extra 30 hours a week. And I said what kind of impact will that have on your family? Because I knew he had a family.

And he says, eww. Okay, now that's a potential obstacle. It might still be the right thing to do but you've got to fully weigh that in. Like how is that going to impact your wife? How is that going to impact your kids in his case?

In his case, he decided to adjust his goal. Is there a way I can both have family time and double my income? And that's the question we ended up helping him ask. But if you don't ask the question, you can start working double time, not consider your family and end up losing your family. And the old saying is what is it worth getting a goal if you lose everything in the process?

That's a paraphrase, right? Okay, what obstacles do you need to overcome to pursue your goal, right? What's holding you back? What are the internal challenges? What are the external challenges?

And then going through, right? How much time per week are you willing to dedicate to your goal? This is actually an obstacle question. Do you have the time? This is going to take me 10 hours a week.

Do you have 10 hours a week to give? I don't know, okay. We got to maybe make some adjustments, either to your time or to your goal, right? How much money are you willing to invest to get your goal? This is also something to tease out somebody's internal obstacles.

Do they have money issues around it? What are you already doing that's moving you towards your goal? Okay, these are more resource questions. We'll pop back around to that later on, okay? Here's another one.

This is an external obstacle question. What skills, resources, or relationships do you need to acquire so that you can reach your desired outcome? What are you missing in order to get your goal? Well, I don't have a webpage with a million subscribers. Okay, is that something you need?

Well, I think so. Okay, how are you going to build it? How are you going to get those resources? That's an external obstacle. I had one client who came in and said, I need two million dollars.

In fact, I had a conversation yesterday that wasn't that different than this. A guy came in, tech startup. He said, I have this tech idea. I think it's going to be the next billion dollar idea. And I said, well, what's standing in your way of getting that?

And he goes, two million dollars. I need two million dollars to fund the development of it. And I said, do you have two million dollars? He said, no. Okay, that's not an obstacle in here.

Well, it could be, right? Could be like, oh, I can't do that. But like, that could be the obstacle inside. But the obstacle out there is, I actually don't have two million dollars in my bank account. I don't have the website.

I don't have the relationships. I don't have the knowledge. I don't know how. Okay, those would be missing things. So, all of these questions.

Anyway, we're not going to go ahead and go through all of it, because there's more in here. But I'm going to post links to this. This will also be in the back office. And these will give you a worksheet. And the worksheet is designed, it's the clever shortcut.

It's Will's 100 hours over time. Over time, that puts together not all of, but a lot of the core questions. It gets the conversation rolling. Remember, the power is not in the worksheet. The power is in your ability to hit each of these four quadrants as you're moving through your goal setting.

So, if you're excited to see the worksheet, if you're excited to work through it, and look at the questions that I'm asking, especially looking through it with the lens of knowledge, give me a woohoo in the comments, right? This is super exciting. And then what we're going to do, is we're going to do a little exciting exercise with a couple of people to show you how, as you're a helping person, as you're a motivator, as you're becoming a master motivator to get the most out of the people you're going to be working with, how can you spot internal obstacles in people inside of their body language? So, one of the assumptions that I hold as a helper is that communication is redundant. And let me explain that, okay?

That means that there's a repetition. Now, that may mean that someone says the same thing over and over and over again. We've all met people like that. I've probably been guilty of repeating myself maybe a little too much in certain contexts. We've all done that.

But that's not necessarily what I'm saying. What I'm saying when I say that communication is redundant, and I want you to write that phrase down, what that means is, is that people will present information to you in more than one sensory channel. Their answer will show up verbally in the words they speak. Their answer will show up in their body language. And their answers will show up in their voice tone.

Sometimes they will give you the right answer with their words, but their voice tone or their body language will tell you that they're saying something very different. And so, here's the question. And this is a question for you that are watching today. If there is a conflict, meaning if they don't agree, if their words don't agree with their body language, what do you believe? And I actually want an answer on this, right?

Because we're gonna go into an exercise right here. What do you believe? Do you believe the body language? Or do you believe the words? Go ahead and post an answer.

Yeah, so we have Doug saying communication is redundant, verbally, body language, voice tone must be congruent. That means they must all match, right? Yeah, so Joshua here says, Joshua Bayless says their body, that's right. So if you see a difference in the body language and the words they're saying, it's like you believe the body language. Okay, let me give you a couple of funny ones.

It's like, yeah, how's your marriage going? Oh, my marriage is going great. Everything is just fine, right? Okay, what are the words saying? Words are saying everything's okay.

What's the body language saying? Post something in the comments. Now, we're guessing, right? We're mind reading a little bit. But what does that look like?

Yeah, marriage, woo! Marriage is going good. Everything's fine, fine in the marriage, right? What are they telling you? Oh, okay, yeah, perhaps anger, perhaps frustration.

Yeah, someone can say, hey, cool, but the body can say, up yours, right? Something's wrong, right? Frustration, maybe, right? Maybe fighting, maybe, yeah, maybe we're in agreement. All is not well, right?

Yeah, right? How's your business going? Oh, yeah, things are rocking, man. Things are just going awesome, right? What does that look like?

And have you seen things like that, right? Or how about this? Go ahead, what do you see in there, right? Yeah, it's BS, yeah, BS, right? Yeah, okay, good.

So we've got, yeah, choke me, strangling. Yeah, no, things are good. I'm telling you guys, things are really good in my business. I'm telling you, they are just like, things are just going great, great. I'm just, big results here.

But you see people do that, right? Do you wanna do this? I asked a client once this question, then we're gonna do this exercise. I asked a client once, you ready to quit smoking? And she said, yeah, right?

What did she just told me? Her voice said yes. What did her body tell me? Yeah, somebody give me an answer here. What did her body tell me?

You ready to quit smoking? Yeah, right? Yeah, not yeah, maybe, yeah, probably not. Maybe, maybe I'm, it's not a definite no. It's like, I'm not sure, something like that, right?

No way, she's on the fence. Maybe I should quit, maybe I shouldn't, right? So if you miss that, then you miss the most important thing. You're missing the most important communication. Sometimes it just shows up in the body language.

Sometimes the voice tone. Sometimes the body language is really congruent. But it's like, they're like, yeah, right? You ready to go? Yeah, right?

Little bit in the body language, little bit in the voice tone. That does not sound congruent. That does not sound, I'm locked and loaded and ready to go. So you wanna watch people and you wanna listen. So what we're gonna do now is we're gonna do a little exercise so that we can start to see the difference in this.

And this is the main thing. If this is as far as we get into obstacles today, you've got a worksheet that gives you some obstacle questions. But then also, I want you to start to listen really carefully with your eyes. And I want you to notice, do they mean what they say? And what we're gonna do is we're not gonna bring out their goals yet.

What we're gonna do is we're going to have them think about a time when they were ambivalent or when they were like, not so sure about something. And we're just gonna watch what kind of responses pop up in their body language, right? And we're just gonna see what happens, okay? There's no script here. We're just seeing what happens.

So let's go ahead and bring out Janet first. Is that all right? Janet, can you come out? And give me like two seconds. I'm actually gonna turn on the air conditioner.

It is like super hot. Give me a second. Okay, taking off the jacket. The gloves have come off. Okay, all right.

So we're gonna put Janet. So Vanessa, if you could make Janet full screen here. All we're going to have you do Janet is that by the way. Hi Janet. How you doing?

Everybody give Janet a big shout out. Hey She is right. We're glad you're here glad to be here. Can you hear me? Absolutely, I can hear you And I want you to move your camera down just a little bit so if you could adjust your camera So we can see a little bit of your body there.

There we go. Okay now all we're going to have you Do is I want you to think about we're going to do a couple of a couple of exercises here, okay? First one is I want you to think about someone who you and please don't give us a name This is not that kind of exercise. I want you to think about somebody that you really don't like very much Okay now I want you to think about them, and I want you guys to be watching Janet real carefully Okay there we go you can see it okay, so now go and clear your mind shake that off I want everyone just I'm gonna go to the comments here for a minute, okay? And Janet you don't go to the comments here for a minute, okay?

Because I just want to see what they're seeing Okay, because it was real obvious when you went there, but I want people in the comments to say what did you see? Right what did you see when she finally went into? Into dislike now she got that she got there Katie She got there. What did you see? Okay I'm gonna wait for a couple people to post something if you didn't see it.

That's okay. We shall do it again For us here. Yeah, okay, that's right Christy everyone look at Christy and Lexi, okay? Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, okay good. You guys are doing good, okay?

Yes, and yes absolutely you guys are right on track so you guys are like experts of this already right so we're gonna Go we're gonna go there again, okay? We've just had you shake it off now. We want you to think about somebody that you really like right Okay Yeah, that was easy okay that took you a lot less time to find someone. That's good Okay, that looks really nice. So okay again.

Let's go to the comments without looking and say no looking no looking Janet What did you see when she went into someone that she really liked? What were you noticing? Good Katie Yeah, okay Good Yeah, absolutely Okay, good. You guys are you guys are doing really well, okay, so now yeah, that's right Excellent you guys saw it so now We're just gonna what we're gonna Do is we want to see it one more time to make sure that we can see the difference and then your job is to start Watching people very carefully so again Vanessa We want to make sure the actions on Janet, so let's go ahead and put the camera on her if we can So I want you to go ahead and think of think of the same person that you dislike Just think about being with them. Okay there you go there.

It is again, okay? All right Okay, good, so get a couple people give me thumbs up if you saw it right So let's go ahead and go into it say yep, saw it, okay? Give me a thumbs up here And then we'll move on because I want to make sure you guys see it and then we're gonna have her Switch back and forth a little bit between the two And this is called the calibration exercise. It's we're learning to train our eyes for Subtle differences in the body language so that we can recognize okay. Yeah, we saw it.

Okay good So we're on the same page now so now I want you to one more time just kind of shake that off for a minute right and We're gonna go into We're gonna go into the person you like so just go ahead and think about that person that you really there you go Oh my gosh, you're so cute when you think about when you think about that person that person must mean something special to you, okay? Doesn't she glow when she does that's just awesome, okay? And then again give me a give me a thumbs up if you guys can see it right we want to make sure that people Are with us here Okay Yeah, yeah, okay good. So we're there so we're having people see the differences so now Jenna. Here's what we're gonna do Okay, we're gonna.

I want you to just to shake it off for a minute And then you're not gonna. Tell us you're not gonna. Tell us which one you're thinking about And I want you just to think about one of them and we're gonna have them guess and see how well they do is that All right, and I'm looking at you too Okay, so just tell us when you got it give us a little head nod Okay, what do you think okay now? We're gonna have people guess. What do you think here?

Which one was she thinking about You Yeah, okay, so was it the like or the dislike was the person she liked or the person she didn't like Okay All right, yeah, so now we've got a bunch of answers coming in so we're gonna go ahead and have you answer So Janet tell us which one was it Nope did we lose you Janet Oh She's frozen She's frozen so if she doesn't come back here in a second We will go ahead and move on to Raymond and then bring her back here in a minute But I think that we pretty much got people on the right page so good you guys are already starting to train your eyes realize That you're already seeing more Then you realize that you're seeing so you watch these body language experts you like wow how are they doing this really all they're doing is Most of them are watching what's already in front of them, and then over time you can You can train your attention to pay more attention to these things in the beginning I was like how is my mentor seeing all these things well? He's just he's opening up his attention He's paying attention the things and today I see things that I literally that literally were invisible to me even a year ago And I'm seeing things that like ten years ago. I would have said were like you know Magician type things right and I ever once I stopped paying attention, and I miss things too, so I'm not perfect I don't have a perfect eye, but I do see a lot more than I saw before okay, so we lost we lost Janet We're gonna go ahead and bring Raymond out now Raymond. We're gonna do a little bit different exercise with you, okay? But we're doing the same thing Okay, is that all right?

Absolutely well, it's good to see everybody give Raymond a big shout out. Hey Right good to see you again, brother. I think I last saw you in Tennessee, right? So Okay, so here we're gonna go and we're gonna do something just a little bit different I want you to think about the last time you had a goal that you were somewhat ambivalent about ambivalent means like Part of me wants to part of me doesn't want to I might be a health goal might be a relationship goal might be a financial Goal, but it's like where you were like you almost knew that there was like a deep down part of you that didn't really want to do it, right? Okay, okay, and he's got it.

Okay. Okay. He's got it And so I want you in the in the comments Janet will come back to you in a minute, okay? Hang on to that okay, so but we're not back to you yet We're gonna. We're gonna start with we're gonna start with keep on going with Raymond and so Janet I want you paying attention to and don't post your comments in the comments because they'll show up for Raymond We don't want Raymond noticing what he's doing so that we can keep on observing him We don't want to pollute the process okay, so go ahead in the comments and go okay Camera needs to be on Raymond Vanessa.

I don't know if it's switched over already Yep, yeah, yeah, you got okay, so let's do it one more time Raymond. Just everybody can see Here we go so Raymond go ahead and think about the goal. I think you're still there man, okay? You're still there. He's doing the same.

He's doing the same body language, so just he's right there. What do you see? What do you see let's go into the comments, and I want to see what? What are you seeing? Yes Okay, it's on Raymond now and Raymond, okay, Raymond if you're if you're not there.

It looks like they may not have been seeing you Okay, so one more time think about that. You're still there. He's still there guys, so we just need to go anywhere What are you seeing? What do you see in his facial expressions? What are you seeing in his body language?

Okay There's a couple of very specific things that he's doing okay, some of you are seeing it some of you are not seeing it, so we're gonna flip him out of it and we're gonna do this so there I don't want to say what it is that I'm seeing but there's something very specific that I'm seeing I'm not I haven't really seen it See it see okay, we got there's a little bit of it you guys are seeing there's a there is a little bit there Okay, yep, yep, yep, there's a little bit there, but there's something else There's something else very specific and I'll point it out if you guys don't find it here in a minute, okay? So okay now go ahead and shake that off Raymond just good Shake off the goal. Yeah there you go Dog shake right like we did in Nashville And now yeah, I want you to think about a goal that when you thought about it. You knew that you could not fail Okay, yeah, it's like and just step into that be right there Yeah There you go good, and what are you seeing and notice does it look different does it look different? Okay does it look different just keep on thinking about it Okay, what are you seeing?

Okay, yeah Okay, you guys are seeing some of it, okay good and I would say that Raymond has a little bit harder read than Janet, but it's there It's it is there. I'm telling you after watching lots and lots of people it is there okay, so Okay, so now perfect so we're doing it We got lots of things coming in and I think that there are a couple of key things here now We're going to talk about we're going to talk about zones to look at them as you're looking at the face, okay? And we're not going to we're not going to do like a deep dive into micro expressions We probably will get into micro expressions down the road because those are really important to be able to learn how to read as You're working with people. I'm still not perfect at it, but I can see micro expressions You know 80 90 percent of the time and it gives you a real good clue about where somebody is emotionally so one zone to watch Is like the forehead zone, so what's happening like from here to here like what do you notice in people? You know or they're like David.

I get crinkles in our forehead right you know as we're as we're talking All right, so like what's going on in the forehead? Well, what's going on right here in this zone? So like what happens to the eyebrows are they like you know raised lifted scrunched down scrunched together, right? Next zone is the eyes Right, so what's happening inside of the eye zone? What's happening to the blinking rate?

What's happening to the tightness and the tension? What's happening at the corner of the eyes? Right what's happening to the size of the eyes? What's happening in the pupils? Right next zone is like right here up to the top lip come nose the top lip.

What's happening with the nostrils? What's happening right here at the corner of the mouth is it balanced or imbalanced? What's happening to the top lip? What's happening to the bottom lip? What's happening to the chin and then like head tilt so those are things that you can look for now?

We're not mind readers so that means that we could be wrong in our interpretation right is everybody okay being wrong if you're okay Being wrong. I want you to post in the comments. It's like I'm okay being wrong But at the same time you can get pretty good at guessing what's going on with people as you're as you're watching people But the first thing to do is to not get good at interpreting There's two steps to body language first step is you want to be able to see it after you can see it Then you want to be able to interpret it and even the best people who interpret body language interpret it wrong Right can say that with a hundred percent accuracy We're not always right But we can see something and it can fire off a question in our mind and go wait a minute that doesn't look quite right and that can give us indications as a helper person as a father as a spouse as a Boss as a as a as a leader it can get it can prompt us to ask another question or to clarify That's how I know when to poke and when not to poke That's how I know to go a little deeper or when to back off based on a lot of what's happening Especially in the face the hands and the feet okay other places, too But especially face hands and feet not necessarily in that order But those are the three things that I'm looking at in fact the feet especially okay, so feet and face So let's go ahead one more time so Raymond. I want you to think about the goal That you were like deeply conflicted about Okay, there it is again, okay, there. It is again, and I and he just flashed it like three times for us.

Okay, and the zone I want you to pay attention to is right here and Right up around the eyebrows, okay Next time he does that I want you to pay attention to both zones as he does that because he's doing it He's doing it again. Okay in both in both sounds So and a little bit of head tilt too, so okay, so there's one's good go ahead and shake that off again Okay Right okay. Yeah there you go. You're doing your great shaker offer right okay me, too So you're doing great Raymond now go ahead and think about the goal that you were like yes. I am doing this 100% certain Okay Look at that right Okay Look at that right.

That's the difference so now we've got it so again What I want people to do in the comments because this is interactive I want you to go ahead And I want you to notice what were the differences between the two and Vanessa just so you know we're probably gonna go another Ten minutes or so and then we'll be done for today Okay, what did you guys notice between the goal that he was super clear that he was super like yes? I'm going to do it Versus the one that he was like I'm not so sure like what did you notice between the two? Okay All right, we got some comments rolling if you're at home watching a replay write these down What did you see pause the video think what was I seeing make a little comment now? You don't have to be right you can go back in and rewatch right you can go back in and rewatch That's the benefit of not doing it live or going back and catching the replays You can go back in and watch and start to train your eye. You can watch this 15 times Okay good.

Okay now. Let's go ahead and do this so Raymond we're back on we're back on you everybody watch Raymond. You know take your fingers off the keyboard for a minute and Don't tell us which one you're thinking about I want you just to go into one of your one of your goals And then we're gonna have the group guess and then we're gonna go back to Janet And we're gonna do some guessing over there Okay, so there it is it's pretty easy, but everybody guess which one is it which goal is he thinking about Okay Which goal is he thinking about Go ahead and post an answer and then here in a minute not yet Raymond. We'll have you go and give us an answer Yeah, okay, so Raymond go ahead and tell us which one you thinking about I'm thinking about the goal that I'm not sure about yeah the goal You're not sure about right and so the group read that right now again notice that our eyes give us Without even asking him about whether he's sure or not sure the body is going to communicate the information For those of you that have been around me for a while. You'll hear me say this over and over and over again You cannot hide a thought now.

We may not be able to read Raymond's exact thoughts, but actually we're gonna do a fun experiment with the group, okay? But we can kind of guess what's going on in there right now We might guess wrong and so we don't want to impose our view of what he's thinking there But it'd be it'd be interesting to ask the group What do you think Raymond is thinking as he thinks about that goal? He's ambivalent about right that he's not so sure What do you think's going through his head? What does it look like is going through his head? What do you think's going through his head?

What does it look like is going through his head based on the way? You're reading his body language Okay, let's get a couple of a couple of guesses here and actually we're gonna come back to that here in just a minute But Raymond, thank you sir for coming out and being our guinea pig. Yep. You're you're awesome Okay, you saw my bald spot there as I bent down right rub the bald spot for good luck. You know so It's like the Buddha's belly.

Okay, so a Janet go ahead and that good. Let's pull a good pull Janet out Vanessa yeah, there you go. Buddha's belly, right? Your bald spot my bald spot your Buddha belly, right? So let's go pull Janet out Vanessa and we're gonna do we're gonna do one more round with you So without telling us which I want you to think about somebody One of the two relationships that we talked about either like or dislike And give us a little head okay.

Okay. She's got it. Okay, which one is it? Okay, which one is Janet thinking about and when you hear me I know there's a little lag here But when you hear me just go ahead and post what which of these? Did Janet just give you?

Yeah, yeah Okay, so we're doing really good. So you guys I think I've hit the nail right on the head So Janet just go ahead and give us which one were you thinking about? You Can't hear you The one that kind of annoys you right you can see annoyance on the face Okay, and you guys by the way is reading your comments and you guys I think have got some interesting mind reads on what Raymond might Be thinking but again, we don't know that until we confirm it. So the way I don't take body language as a law Because number one I can just be wrong, right? Like I can misread something and I don't want to like impose my wrong thought on the client and having to like What's that all about?

So it's better to ask a question So when you see something you can confirm it with a question now people can lie Right, and so you don't might not know that they're lying But you know if you get the second answer and they're just still being like real incongruent or they're doing their facial thing again You're like, okay, there's probably more to the story here. And this is a place where if you have permission You can ask clarifying questions Okay, and we'll talk about how to ask good questions later on but right now Right now here's the thing that I want you to start paying attention to I want you to start paying attention to what people are doing with their face and If you had if you want an exercise we're gonna do we're gonna do this is the way that I do this and the cool thing about this is that most of us around people like all day long And so we get to people watch like all day long, even if you're not directly coaching people you just get to watch people But here's the easy way to learn body language cues. Don't worry about interpreting them yet. Just Laurie learn about Observing them. What are you observing in people as you talk to them?

What I do what I did in the beginning especially and what I'd still do today is I pick one zone of the body to Pay a special attention to so like if it's eyebrows I will pay attention to the eyebrows like all week long for a whole week Eyebrows nothing about eyebrows. What are people doing with their eyebrows? Is there is there talking to me? You know, what are the kinds of things that they're doing? they're communicating and what kind of messages might those mean, right?

What kind of emotions do they seem to correlate to? And then the next week I might watch nothing but eyes or if that's too long a period you can just do a full day of eyebrows, a full day of eyes, full day of nose, watching people's nose, right? As they're talking, right? How do they scrunch their nose and flare their nostrils? Then you might watch the mouth and the chin, right?

Watching people's top lip and bottom lip as they're talking to you. And that's how you get good at really being able to read the face. Right now we're not going to go to the hands or the legs. I'm just gonna have you start to observe the face. Now what I'd like you to do from an exercise is a couple of different things.

Okay, first part of the exercise is I want you just to pick right now, in fact I want your feedback on the comments below, I want you to go ahead and pick an area of the body of the face specifically to start observing for the rest of the week. Eyes, mouth, nose, chin, cheeks, head tilt. What are you going to pay attention to? Go ahead and post it in the comments. Okay, so Verna if you're doing phone coaching you listen to the voice tone and we're gonna come back around to do some exercises for voice tone maybe as early as next week.

I'm not entirely sure, well actually next week, not sure what we're doing. We got to think about that. We'll make an announcement about that. Okay, but you listen to the voice tone and what the voice tone is doing and again at first you don't worry about interpreting it. What you worry about at first is hearing it.

Can you hear when the voice tone goes up? Can you hear when it goes down? Can you hear when it becomes more sure? Can you hear when it becomes less sure? Can you hear when it becomes like hesitating?

Can you hear pauses? Can you hear words that people emphasize? And you train your ear to do those and you do that by picking one thing. So like to answer your question, one thing that I would do to train my ear is I would just train my ear first to listen to what people are doing at the very end of their sentences. Or is their voice tone staying flat?

Is it raising? Is it lowering? And that'd be the first thing that I pay attention to. The second thing that I pay attention to after I train my ear to hear that is I would train my ear to hear the words that people emphasize with their voice. People will sit on different words as they speak.

Their volume will change, their rhythm will change, their tone will change. So that's how you do it if you do a lot of phone coaching. But right now we're just working on visual recognition with the people around you. We've got people saying, we've got eyes, eyes and brows. David Dyer says words, that's not really facial expression.

Listen as they speak. Okay, good. A lot of eyes, a lot of mouths, a lot of foreheads. Just watch that one thing all week. And if you forget, that's fine.

Just remember next time you talk to the next person, watch that as you're going through whatever conversations you have tonight or if you're on a hangout later tonight, just watch the nose or watch the eyes and watch what they're doing and just ask yourself, like with the curious type of thing, what emotion is that communicating? And the more you learn to observe it, the better you're going to get at doing it. Okay, so this is, yeah, Jen says she works with someone whose voice goes up at the end of every sentence. It almost sounds like she's always asking a question. That is one of the messages that she's communicating is that she's unsure, which probably tells us a lot about things like internal anxiety and other things that she does.

Okay, but probably. I mean that's not guaranteed, I don't know her, but I'd have to read the body language too. The second thing that I'd like you to do is I would like you to go through the two worksheets that I gave you. This is the second homework. I want you to read, so there's a little bit of reading this week, I want you to read what's inside of this document here and this document here.

I'm going to post a video here in just a minute with the links to both these things and I want you to think about obstacle questions. I'm going to give you one question. So if I was to simplify each quadrant that we talked about with, where'd my clipboard go, each quadrant, what do you want? That's the question that we ask here. That's the basic question.

There's lots of others that we can ask to help people kind of get down and get dirty and get specific, but what do you want? Over here would be why do you want it or what does that get you or what higher purpose does that serve, right? So what do you want? Why do you want it? Evidence would be how will you know that you've achieved it?

And the core question here would be what is stopping you from achieving that or what has stopped you from achieving that if you want to put it in the past? And either one's fine. How will you know that you got it? What's stopping you? Now there's some other questions that we can use here to tease out if there's internal obstacles especially, but right now what I want you to do, so this fourth question, I'm going to repeat this in what I type up here in a minute, the fourth question is what's stopping you?

And when you ask that, you don't want to be looking down at a piece of paper. So if you need to remember what the question is, you can look down and go what's stopping you? Then you look up at your client like I'm looking over at my client, my imaginary client right over here across the room and I would ask what's stopping you? And then I am going to watch their body language like a hawk because what they show me next will be the most important communication that I get. Like literally within a fraction of a second to two seconds, they are going to tell me with their body what is stopping them.

That is more important than what they say next with their voice. Okay, I hope everybody caught that. So what's stopping you? And then I watch the body language like a hawk. They are going to show me their anxiety, they are going to show me their doubt, they are going to show me if they are visualizing it or hearing it.

And you are not trained to do that yet, some of you are, but most of you aren't. Are they visualizing it? Are they hearing it? They are going to show you patterns of breath that change. They are going to literally show you what the problem is even if they explain it away with their mouth.

Isn't that powerful? What do you want? Why do you want it? How will you know when you get it? What's stopping you?

Those are the four basic questions. You don't have to ask those questions. There are other ways to ask them, but those are four to memorize. Those are four questions that I will ask some form of with almost every client that I ever work with because it will tell me exactly where to put my attention to help the client. Does that make sense?

So the second exercise is you are going to take those four questions, just the four basic questions. You can take this worksheet and look through it, but we are going to come back around to it. Those four questions, what do you want? Why do you want it? How will you know you've got it?

And what's stopping you? I want you to do that with a partner. For those of you that are in accountability groups, just find somebody else in your accountability group or get everybody together in your accountability group and do them one at a time. The more of these you see, the better off you're going to be. The more you'll be able to become a human influencer and an inspirer and notice where people are gummed up in their progress.

So you want to do this at least once, but ideally a couple of times where you ask people those four questions and you're going to practice reading just the face. If you see something with the hands or the head tilt or some of the feet, which would be unlikely, but if you see something with the feet or whatever, that's great. That's extra, but right now your job is just to observe the face and then to describe what it is that you see. You're not going to describe if they're good or bad or if they're motivated or unmotivated, but what you're going to do is a group. So let's say that we've got a group of five together and we've got one person in the hot seat.

I'm asking the questions. All our attention is on Janet. I would go, we're not going to do these, so let's put the attention on Janet here. She's up on the screen. I would go, Janet, what do you want?

And she would say something. Then I would go, why do you want it? She'd say something. I'd be watching your face like a hawk through the whole thing. Then I would ask her, how will you know that you've got it and what's stopping you?

You can ask other questions if you want, but those are the main questions that I want you to ask and I want you just to practice reading the face all the way through. So if you're clear on what the two assignments are, go ahead and say, I got it. Go ahead and say, I got it. Then we'll move on. Okay, got it.

Okay, so I'm going to post this in the group, right? I'm going to post this in the group, what your two are. I want someone to put it in the comments. What are the two things I just asked you to do? Okay, you guys are doing good.

Okay, now this is super powerful stuff. I'm going to come back to the comments here in a second. While we're doing this, I'm going to go ahead and put this back on me. We're going to go ahead and wrap up for today. We just learned the fourth pillar of goal setting.

We've learned how to become a human influencer and also how to start to detect where problems are. Now, we're not done with this and we're going to spend more time around it because this is so foundational. Every time you come back and do one of these exercises, you will get better at it. Today, I still practice these. When I get together and I go to trainings, one of the things I most look forward to is what we call calibration exercises, which are exercises where I practice learning to see and hear.

Anytime I observe another coach in a live coaching interaction or a recorded session, one of the things I'm watching is I'm watching the client's responses. What am I seeing and what am I hearing in the visuals and the voice tone that's telling me what might really be going on? Then I compare what is the coach doing versus what might I do. There are always differences because we're just different people, even if there's an equal or superior skill level. Or an inferior skill level, for that matter.

That's true a lot of times, too. You've got your two assignments. I want to take a look at it. Who's got it? We've got pick an area of the face to observe it and then read the worksheets.

I guess there were three things. Read the worksheets and observe answers to four questions. There were three things. That's it, guys. Those are the four things.

When we come back next time we meet, we're going to go into some obstacle type questions that you can ask people to very quickly ferret out the obstacles that people are facing so that you know where to spend your time helping the client prepare because part of your job as a leader, part of your job as a boss, part of your job as a master motivator, part of your job as a leader of human beings is to help them devise plans to overcome their obstacles, to blast right through them, to dig underneath them, to tunnel around or to rent out the bulldozer and blast it down. I want to let you guys know that you guys are powerful. I'm going to be posting a short video where I recap the three things I asked you to do. I forgot that I asked three, not two. I'll recap the three things.

It looks like the links to the worksheets are right up here next to the video. You can download those. Those will also be in the back office eventually. We will meet here very, very shortly. I'd like you to post in the comments below the video that I post.

I'd like you to post what was the main learning that you got today. What's the main learning that you got today? With that, guys, I love you. I look forward to seeing you next time. I think next week I'm going to be in Denver recording the product.

I look super forward to seeing those of you that will be there live and the rest of you, I look forward to having you on the live stream. It's been an honor tonight, guys. We'll talk again soon. Bye.