Your Headline Reveals Too Much. Your Intro Reveals Too Little.

You hit publish, refresh the stats an hour later, and the number hasn’t moved. You did the reasonable things: picked a real topic, put a number in the headline, wrote more than a few hundred words. So the next guess is usually the wrong one. You assume the topic itself is weak, or the platform is against you, or you just need a bigger push behind it. At Lake Las Vegas, Neil Patel spent an entire session proving that guess wrong in real time, by putting the whole room into groups of ten and fixing their actual headlines and introductions out loud, one person at a time, in front of everyone else.

What kept surfacing, headline after headline, wasn’t a shortage of good topics. Dog training, potty training, affiliate marketing, surviving a husband’s dangerous job, all of it had something worth saying. The mistake was almost always structural, and it showed up in exactly two places: what the headline gave away, and what the introduction held back.

Why does a headline that already answers its own question kill your traffic?

One woman had written a post arguing that blogging works better than LinkedIn for landing a job, and titled it something like why LinkedIn is no longer the best way to find work. Patel stopped her before she got to the body of the post. If the headline already tells someone LinkedIn isn’t the answer, he pointed out, they’ve got what they came for. There’s no reason left to click through and find out what the actual answer is.

Another attendee had counted up twenty seven reasons a blog fails to make money and put that exact claim in the headline. Patel’s fix was to flip the order. State the problem the reader is already living with, not the conclusion of your research, then attach the number to the fix instead of the diagnosis: your blog isn’t making money, here are the reasons why. Same post, same twenty seven points, but now the headline opens a gap instead of closing one.

if you’re telling people LinkedIn’s not the Holy Grail, then that’s it. Why do they need to read the rest?

That’s the whole mechanism in one sentence. A headline’s job isn’t to summarize your post. It’s to withhold the one thing your post actually delivers, just long enough that a stranger has to click to go get it.

Why does the size of the number in your headline matter more than the number itself?

Patel made a distinction that’s easy to miss even after you’ve absorbed the usual advice about headline length, negative words, and matching your headline to your content. It isn’t only whether you use a number. It’s what size number you use, because the two ends of the scale make completely different promises to the reader.

• A small number, three or five, promises effortlessness. It belongs on a claim that’s genuinely quick or simple, like losing a set amount of weight in a week or building one habit fast.
• A larger number, seven and up, promises thoroughness. It belongs on anything where the reader’s real question is how much you actually know, tips, techniques, or a full breakdown of a topic.

Put a three on a value headline and you’ve accidentally told the reader there isn’t much here. Put a fifty one on a headline about something genuinely simple and you’ve made it look like homework before anyone has clicked.

What’s missing from a technically correct introduction?

Once the headline problem got named, the room picked up the mechanics of the introduction fast: open with a real question, keep it to two or three short paragraphs, use you and I so it reads like it’s aimed at one person instead of a crowd. Most people in the room could follow that checklist by their second attempt.

What kept getting missed wasn’t structural. It was a single sentence’s worth of honesty. Introduction after introduction stated a problem and a promise, but skipped the moment where the writer admits she lived through the exact thing she’s now teaching. One attendee opened a post about protecting a teenage daughter by disclosing that she had survived an assault herself as a teenager, and had spent decades since teaching girls self-defense. The room went quiet, then stood and applauded once she finished reading. Patel’s point wasn’t the applause. It was what the applause proved.

As Neil Patel put it, “Without that personal story, no one’s going to connect with you.” That line applies just as much to a post about affiliate marketing or dog training as it does to something that heavy. The stakes don’t have to be dramatic. They have to be true, and they have to be yours, stated plainly enough that a stranger reading it recognizes herself in it.

Put the two fixes together and you get a strange but workable rule. Say less in the headline than you actually know. Say more in the introduction than feels comfortable. Most people are doing it backwards, promising everything up top and then hiding behind a detached, general tone once they actually start writing, and wondering why the traffic never sticks around long enough to become an audience.

The full session goes further than what’s above, including how Patel worked through headline after headline from the room and the exact rule for structuring the body of the post once the headline and introduction are fixed. Watch it in full, free, when you Create your free account.

The full session transcript follows below.

Transcript

Empower Network family, we are about to welcome to the stage a gentleman that you had the opportunity to meet last night. A gentleman that eats, sleeps, lives and breathes blogging every day and is driving unbelievable results with his blogs in his business and on his personal side, and he is going to be laying bare those strategies for you interactively today. So with that, let's get up on our feet. Let's make sure we are ready to get focused and bring a level of intensity to blogging because Neil told me last night that the energy in this room and the audience in this room is the best audience he has ever spoken in front of.

That Neil is excited to be here and to share this with you to impact your businesses. Empower Network family, help me welcome Mr. Neil Patel. All right.

They're all yours. Thank you. Are you guys ready? Thank you guys.

So today, we're actually going to be doing something that's a bit different. I want you guys to actually learn not only how to blog, but to generate visitors to your site. So I remember some people here were saying, you know, you guys want 10,000 visitors a month. Was that right?

1,000 visitors a day. Those numbers actually are not hard to achieve. And I'm actually going to show you how to achieve it. So the first half is going to be how to actually write content.

The second half is going to be how to market the content. So what I want you to do is everyone get into groups of 10. I know this is going to be, the room is going to change quite a bit. Just get into little clusters of 10.

And what I'm going to be doing, I'm going to first give you guys some overviews. Then you're going to end up, I'm going to teach you guys how to write headlines, how to write blog content. And then after that, the next whole half is going to be how to promote it. So everyone within your sections, you get into small groups of 10.

If some people have odd numbers, it's okay. Go. You can move chairs if you want. Everyone getting into the groups?

Feel free to move around the chairs if you have to. If you have to do 11, that's fine as well. Don't worry if the numbers are a bit off. Just small groups, around 10 people.

It could be plus or minus a few. All right. Everyone in the group? Yes?

All right. Now what I want is one person from every group to raise their hand. Just one person from each group. So we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Shit, I can't even count at this one. Okay. There's enough of us. So the first exercise, okay, so is anyone not in a group?

Raise your hand if you're not in a group. Perfect. Everyone's in a group. If you don't have 10 people in your group, it's okay.

You can have short or more. It doesn't matter. As long as there's like more than six or seven in a group, you're fine. If you have, you don't need two, you're good.

As long, if you have more than six or seven, you're fine. All right. That's fine. All right.

So the first exercise, everyone listening? All right. So the first exercise. The first exercise I'm going to go over is how to crop the headline.

Do you guys remember the main points that I discussed yesterday? There were seven of them. All right. What was the first one?

Numbers or negative words. All right. Negative words and have numbers. Six words in the headline.

65 characters is number two. Six words. All numbers. What's the word for better?

Match the content. Match the content is another one. On numbers is another one. We said that.

Multiple meanings. Multiple meanings. There you go. Interesting adjectives.

There you go. So we got them. Okay. Now, whatever you guys blog on within your groups, I want you to come up with three headlines for your next blog post.

Everyone should write that down. You can write it down on a piece of paper. You can type it on your computer. Whatever you want.

Write down three headlines. Okay? Once you do that, share that with your group and everyone's going to get feedback. On top of that, I'm going to be coming around from group to group and just giving you guys feedback as well.

And we're going to go through this whole process. I'm going to actually even have you guys start writing that blog post too on that piece of paper. So we're going to go over a bit of everything today. It's going to be quite a bit of work.

But trust me. Once you're done with this and then once we get into the promotion side, you'll actually start seeing a lot more traffic per blog post. Question? Can I put the what?

Do you guys have my PowerPoint from yesterday? Anyway, you can put the headline slide. There's seven points. Sounds good.

They're going to do it. Any other questions? Everyone does their own subject. And as a group, you guys got to be giving each other feedback.

The whole purpose of this is to create a buddy system. There's 10 of you. You guys should know each other's names. Each other's email address.

Each other's contact information. Why, you may ask? Because no matter how good you are at writing, you yourself are not going to have all the ideas in the world. Even me to this day.

Do you know every time I write a blog post, I brainstorm headlines with a few of my colleagues and they brainstorm their headlines with me? We all share concepts, ideas, headlines, et cetera. This is what helps us become better writers. And I think that's what we're going to do.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. We're going to do it. This is what helps us become better writers.

See, this group that you have after this event doesn't stop. You need to continue with this group. And you guys are going to help each other. Not just with the headlines, but looking over each other's blog post, giving each other feedback.

You're going to be taking this stuff you're learning today and help each other. If you do that, all of you guys will have a much more popular blog. All right. Let's get started.

Everyone start brainstorming headlines. I'm going to start coming around from group to group. All right. Everyone working on headlines?

Raise your hand if you in your group have not created a headline. Raise your hand if you have not created a headline. You didn't create a headline? Okay, you did.

Anyone not create a headline? You did? What was that? Can everyone quiet down a bit, please?

It could be the first one. So here's what we're going to do. There's a lot of you, so I'm going to start going over in front of everyone right now so that way we can all learn from this versus only individuals within your group. One thing, when you guys are using numbers, I see a lot of you using like three, five, and numbers like that within your headline.

Does that sound about right? Yeah. Those numbers are too small. Why would you want to write about three things or five things?

Make sure your numbers are at least as small as seven, and it can go all the way up to like 101. Anything more than 101 is too many. Okay? Because if you go too small, everyone's going to be like only three, right?

Remember we talked about yesterday you want to create a 2,000-word blog post? You can't create a 2,000-word blog post from three things. You need like seven, 10, 20. Yes.

If you only have three and you can make it really thorough, then you could end up using the headline with the number three. But the purpose of three and small amounts like that, you don't want to use it as like three ways to become financially free because everyone's like, there's not really three ways. There's a lot of ways or three steps because you'd be like, or three ways because it's like, it's bullshit. There's many more ways, right?

But when you want to use small numbers like three is more like, so like let's say you're trying to become, lose 10 pounds in one week. Three simple steps to losing 10 pounds in one month, right? So you want to use a small number to show that it's effortless. When you're talking about tips and techniques and how people can gain value, you don't want to use a small number.

You want to use a larger number because it shows that there's more value. Does that make sense? Perfect. You also do not have to achieve every one of those seven points.

If I got slapped every time one of my headlines didn't meet one of those seven points, I probably wouldn't have any more skin on my face. All right? So don't try to achieve all of them. Now, what I'm going to do is I'm going to go around and just pick on random people and you're going to end up reading your headline.

And I'm going to critique it. And I'm hoping this helps you guys as a group learn from this. Sounds good? All right.

You're raising your hand. Speak up. Read your headline and I'll repeat it. Yeah, go for it.

Eleven fabulous mobile blogging tips for beginners. That's good. That's kind of lengthy. Eleven fabulous tips, mobile blogging tips for beginners.

So what do you mean by mobile blogging? Okay. Okay, so what he's saying is he writes blog posts from his phone. He uses the voice recognition.

Now, when you're doing this, how long does it take you to write a blog post? Anywhere from five to ten minutes. Okay, so that's actually kind of amazing. So what I would actually do…

Because I talk really fast, you know, and I can generate like 2,000 words in ten minutes. Shit, you should be up here instead of me. I will be, next event. I never thought about that, and I've been blogging for like, I think over ten years.

I'm like, damn it. That's what happens when you stick with old phones and you're on 3G. You never think about that stuff. So what I would do is modify the headline.

How you can write a 2,000 word blog post in ten minutes. Right? Because it's like, wait, how? And then you can break down how you can use your mobile phone.

How you can use your mobile phone. How you can use your mobile phone to actually create that blog post. Sound good? Yeah, yeah, love it.

All right, next person. Right there behind you. My name is Terrence, and my headline is, 13 Paralyzing Fears Baby Boomers Have About Online Marketing. That's a good headline.

I'm wondering what those fears are. Okay? I think that headline will work. And for why it will work is he was really specific.

When headlines are pretty broad, they tend not to work as well. Eleven extremely positive training techniques to get ahead this year. Dog training techniques to get ahead this year. Excuse me.

Okay, so 11. Extremely positive dog training techniques to get ahead this year. Okay, what do you mean by dog training techniques to get ahead this year? Well, dogs learn by behavior and association.

Dogs learn by habit and association only. And a lot of people don't understand that. And so there's very important. There's a very important foundation that you have to kind of understand before you can even begin to teach them anything.

Training is 24 hours a day. And so with 11. So you're talking about before you actually even train your dog, they need to be doing. You have to be.

They need to understand. I'm sorry. So I would actually modify the headline. It may be a bit lengthy, and you can figure out how to shorten it.

But it's something like you won't be able to train your dog unless you do this first. Right? And then you can. You can break down what it is and you can break down all the steps and you can talk about you can't just train a dog to give you a handshake yet to create the foundation, et cetera, and go into I don't know, I don't have an animal or a dog, but you get what I mean.

Yes, yes, thank you. Okay, I'll let you as a micro just keep running around and grab someone and you go to different groups. Five fastest ways to potty train your toddler. Okay.

And the whole purpose. Of that is your potty, your toddler stops wasting diapers, etc. So when do most people get potty trained? What's the average age?

I think 18 months, starting at 18 months. Okay. And through your methods, when do you think you can get someone potty trained? Um, it takes about three months in my experience to potty train fully potty train.

But by what age do you think you can get them trained? Oh, by two and a half. Two and a half? Yeah.

Damn, you got to change diapers till two and a half. That sucks. That's the best form of birth control that I know. Four or five times a day, you shitting me?

Yeah, I'm definitely not cut out for kids. All right. So if that post on, um, shit, how much do you do? How much do you do?

How much do you do? How much do you do? How much do you do? How much do you do?

Do you do diapers costs? Like a dollar a day? A lot of money. Uh, what was that?

A lot of money. A lot of money. So what I would do is figure out how much diapers costs and let's say diapers costs a total of like a 500 bucks throughout a child's like infancy, right? Yeah.

Right. Okay. Like 4,000. I don't know.

I'm making a number. Kids are expensive. Yep. Yeah, that's true, but that makes me happy dirty divers.

Don't make me happy Okay, so I would talk about if you think you can get a child trained earlier I would actually create my blog post like on let's say you think you can save a parent an extra $1,500 and I would actually talk about How to save a thousand five hundred dollars on diapers or something like that right the headlines not perfect It needs to be fine-tuned, but I would work the angle of saving money And you're talking about the reason you're spending a lot of money is you're not potty-training your kid early enough And you're not doing the right techniques to get them potty-trained fast enough on average is taking most parents six months to potty-train their kid I'm gonna show you how you can get it done in three months And how you can potty train your kids six months earlier than the average parent right and then go into that kind of stuff By the way I I do apologize from a bit off because I have No idea if my potty-training knowledge is I'm just following the mic runner right here Hi My name is Sheena um so I have Internet's best-kept secret to living an alternative freedom okay, so What do you mean by alternative freedom well like not having the job life?

You know how we live some people can travel around the world some people can work in their pajamas from the comfort of their own home a Lot of examples of just people living you let me ask you some personal questions right now how personal Okay, so you yourself this is this is what you do full-time correct, yeah, okay? Have you hit over five figures in income from this not yet not yet, okay? Have you hit more than four figures in one month yeah, okay, cool so and And during that month, were you chilling in your pajamas?

Did you travel? Did you do anything interesting? I was actually at work at that time, and I didn't even know. Like, I just checked one day, and I was like, holy shit.

So I would actually do a blog post on something like, I'm going to give you a random amount. Let's say it's $4,000. I'm going to make a random amount up. I would be like, how I made $4,000?

Yeah, how I made $4,000? The whole purpose I'm trying to come across is like, how you made money while you were at work, but you didn't even know you made the money. I didn't get the memo, dot, dot, dot. I made an extra $4,000 while I was at work.

But I'm not at work anymore. No, no, no, but you can write the blog post as when you were at work, and how you didn't know, and then you quit, and you started doing this. Like something like, how I made $4,000 while I was stuck in my cubicle not even knowing? Yeah, how I made $4,000 in passive income while I was stuck in a, you know.

Shithole? Yeah, shithole. Yeah, that would probably work. Cubicle pretty much is it, right?

And then I would go find a picture of a cubicle that looks like a shithole. Or just a shithole. Yeah, that could work too. Okay, thanks.

I'm waiting for the mic runner, wherever he's passing it around. Okay, my topic here is three best kept secrets to monetize your passions. Okay, so remember what we said about number three? What's wrong with that number?

Yeah, it's too low, so down below I put seven, but. There you go. Okay. So seven, what's the title again?

Is the number seven in set? Seven best kept secrets to monetize your passions. So, seven best, yes, seven best secrets to make money from your passion. So the problem with that post is most people, at least I feel in this world, don't know what they're passionate about.

Would you agree with that? Yeah. Yeah. So, I would actually do a blog post that's like something simple like, seven ways to figure out what you're passionate about, and then I'll put in parentheses after that.

It's a bit long, but it'll work. Seven ways to find out, seven ways to find what you're passionate about, and how to actually make money off of it. Right? And put that, and how to make money off of it in parentheses.

That should work. That's good. You guys got to grab the mic runner. Good morning.

Morning. My name is Laura Parrish, and I'm representing our little group here. Hello. Woo!

So, the one that we chose is. Whoop. Twenty-seven reasons why your blog is. Isn't making money.

So, I would actually rephrase it. Sure. And I would actually make my title like, your blog's not going to make money, and here are 27 ways to fix that. I like it.

Thank you. Is this all helping you guys? Yeah. You guys got your teams.

You better have each other's email address, because when any of you guys create headlines, you guys should be all emailing each other in threads and giving feedback. Right. Right over here, Neil. Thanks a lot.

So, I put 11 reasons why you won't succeed online. 11 reasons why you won't succeed online. Yeah. So, I would actually use this stat.

Let's say it's like, I would assume 99 plus percent of online businesses fail, and there's probably a stat that backs it up. I would go Google and find a stat that talks about how 98 or 95 or 90 percent, whatever the number is, and I would actually start off my headline on 90, like 99 percent of online businesses fail, and then the next part would be, here's how to be in the one percentile. Right? You may need some jazzing up, but you get the point.

The whole purpose is to talk about how most people are going to fail, and here's how to avoid that. Cool. Awesome. Thank you.

Appreciate it. I'm waiting for the mic runner. All right. Go for it.

Seven traffic accidents to avoid online. What do you mean by traffic accidents? And you're talking about how… Most people don't generate traffic because they mess up.

So, seven traffic… Can you repeat the title one more time for me? Seven traffic accidents to avoid online. Seven traffic accidents.

See, traffic accidents is a play on the phrase traffic accidents, and avoiding traffic accidents. But it has double meanings. That's the problem with it. That's where the content comes in.

The content has to match the headline, right? That's correct. But if you… If people are already confused on the headline and what it's about, they won't read the content.

So, like, instead of the traffic accidents, I would just go in and talk about stuck at the hundredth or not getting more than a thousand visitors a month to your blog, here's how to solve it. Something like that. It's a bit long. You can shorten it up.

But most people have the problem when they start a blog, they don't even get a thousand visitors. They may get it when they first start because they email all their friends and their buddies, as many of you guys know. But what happens after that? It dies down, right?

So, if you can teach people how to get over the hump, that'll work. All right. This is going to be the last one and then we're going to get into writing. Okay.

Women leaders make business thrive. Okay. So, all you men are probably going to hate me in the room for this. Hopefully, all you men are married to a woman, so then that way you can't hate me.

So, you're talking about women leaders in business, right? Yes. So, I would actually do something on like looking for a CEO to help your business grow. Here's why you should hire a woman.

And then you can flip it around for men as well if you want to end up doing that. It'll probably create controversy and then you'll probably get a ton of women commenting, but you'll get a shitload of traffic, right? Like, you can actually do like wanting your business to thrive. Here's why you shouldn't hire a woman.

And I'm not saying I believe in that. But I bet you'll get like 30,000 visitors. Yes. All right.

So, now, the next step that we're going to get into is actually writing the introduction. You guys all have your headlines. If it's not fine-tuned, it's okay. You can always fine-tune it before you publish the post.

What I want you to do is you start off your introduction with the question. It hooks people in. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So, from there, you want to write no more than three paragraphs, no less than two paragraphs.

Your paragraphs could be as short as one or two sentences. And they could be as long as six lines. Okay. So, okay, I'll repeat that.

Now, you guys have to go and start writing the introduction. The introduction for the headline you chose, if the headline's not perfect, it's not perfect. It's okay. You can always fix the headline before you publish.

But what you need to do with the introduction is start it off with a question, have it no less than two paragraphs, no more than three paragraphs, four if you're feeling a bit happy or whatever you want to call it, you just want to write more. Your paragraphs can be as short as one to two sentences. They can be as long as six lines. Stick within that rubric.

You also want to use the words you and I a lot. And at the end of your paragraph or your introduction, you want to transition. Now a transition, I'll actually work from everything top to bottom before you guys even get started. But a transition.

A transition is, let's use the example of the women CEOs, right? Want to grow your business? Then you ought to hire a women CEO. That's an example of a headline.

So the intro, I could start off the first question with, is there a lot going on in your business? Of course there is. All businesses have to work on solving multiple problems at the same time. But you know what's interesting?

Men aren't as good at multitasking as women are, right? Did you know that women can do five things at the same time efficiently while men can only do two things at the same time, right? Don't believe me? Check out this review or check out the statistics or the data behind this by Harvard Business Review, right?

And then you would link to the article because you can probably find some sort of article that backs up. Women can multitask better, right? And then after that, I'm like, here are seven reasons why you should hire a women CEO to run your business. And that would do the semicolon.

And then I would go into actually writing the main body. But for this point, we're just going to do the introduction. Does that example make sense? Does it help you write yours?

All right. So everyone… What was that? Do you want me to repeat it?

Oh, okay. You're joking. All right. And you've got the transitions, right?

You can see how some would be different paragraphs because they pause more. So yeah, everyone start writing their introduction. Spend no more than five minutes writing a quick introduction. It doesn't have to be perfect.

And then read it along to other people within your group and I'm going to be coming around. Sound good? Get started. All right.

A few things that I've been noticing when I'm walking around. I've been thinking about this. I've been thinking about this. One, you can't have a one paragraph introduction.

It needs to be at least two to three paragraphs. A paragraph could just be one sentence if you wanted, as I mentioned earlier. But do not make your introduction just one paragraph. That is…

It's too big. It's hard to read. It all jumbles together, right? Break it up.

It helps with the flow. The second thing that I'm noticing with some of you guys is… You're writing these introductions and you're just getting into… You're talking about doing something like stretching or whatever it may be and why people should stretch.

But if you're not tying in the personal experience on why or how you learned this or what happened to you when you didn't stretch, et cetera, and how it changed your life and how other people can learn from it. Without that personal story, no one's going to connect with you. The way you end up creating loyal blog readers is they end up connecting with you as an individual. Right?

You want people to come back to your blog. You want them to continue to read. You want them to comment. If people feel you're cold, they're not going to leave a comment.

They're not going to connect with you. So make sure you're adding something within the introduction that helps you connect with the reader. And that something is typically… Typically a personal experience or a story or something that happened to you in the past.

The third thing I'm noticing is you guys aren't using the words you or I within your introduction. Remember how we talked about that yesterday? If you're not using the word you or I, people won't be connecting. So I'm going to give you guys another like five, six minutes to do a bit more.

And then what I'm going to end up doing is call in a few of you guys. We're going to read your introduction. We're going to show you how to fine tune it. All right.

Did you guys write your introduction? Anyone not write an introduction? Raise your hand. Okay.

A few of you have not written an introduction. Did you write an introduction? You did. That's good.

Okay. You wrote one? Don't be shy. I can help you if you didn't write one.

You didn't write one? You got one. Raise your hand if you did not write one. No.

Okay. Not if you have a question, but if you did not write one. Okay. Did everyone write one?

Where? Okay. You did not write one. Why not?

Just couldn't get my thoughts together to write it down. No worries. What's your headline? Fifty-one keys to retire your way.

So fifty-one keys to retire your way. Keys is a weird word. I would have gone to like fifty-one tips or fifty-one strategies. I would have gone to like fifty-one tips or fifty-one strategies.

I would have gone to like fifty-one tips or fifty-one strategies. Okay. So it's the three key strategies that'll help you retire the right way. Okay.

It makes it simpler. You're retired? No. Okay.

But you have these ways to get retired, right? Yes. When do you plan on retiring? Me?

ASAP. Realistically, pick a deadline like within a year, six months. Within five years. Five years.

Cool. Fully retired. That's realistic. So, how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

47. 47. And your name is? Robert McCann.

Robert. Okay. So, I would start off my introduction. What's the retirement age nowadays?

60? Never. 65? Never.

67 and a half? 65. Okay. Let's just go with 65 to keep it simple.

So, I would start off the introduction being like, do you really want to wait until you're five years old before you can retire? Question mark. Okay. And I'm like, I know I don't.

I'm currently 47 years old and I'm still working. But you know what? I figured out the path that I need to take in life that will allow me to retire within the next five years. And the beautiful part about this path is that it won't just work for me.

It can work for you, too. Right? And the next paragraph. I'm like, here are the 51 strategies or tips or whatever you want to end up calling them that you can use to retire within the next five years.

Wow. There you go. Well, thank you. You're welcome.

All right. People who have written introductions. Mic runner. What's your name, mic runner?

Jay. Jay. Thank you very much for doing this. Appreciate it.

Okay. So, you're ready for an introduction? Yes. Okay.

So, my headline is the nine evils of public school. Wait. The nine evils of public school. Okay.

And we're going to have you ever thought about why society really sends their kids to school. School has become part of our social fabric, but most people send their kids by default because that's just what you do. Have you ever considered it could be one of the worst things to do to a child? We were faced with this question when our son missed the cutoff for school by one week.

Okay. What happened after he missed it for one week? They were going to school. They were going to be, they said that he would have to wait another year, and he was already reading when he was four, so it wasn't going to work for him to wait another year.

So, you had a smart kid and they didn't want to put him in school? Correct. That's stupid. Okay.

And then, but what happened? We researched and found something called virtual school, and they allowed him to do, he actually was, they allowed him to do first and second grade that year. Okay. So, he's actually the youngest in his, he'll graduate the youngest in his class.

For third grade? Or in general? No. No.

Because I said I'm ahead. He would have, he would have only been able to go the following year, so. So, now he's ahead? Yeah.

He's in ninth grade now. So, I would have talked about your experience within that introduction. Okay. So, read off the introduction again.

Paragraph by paragraph. Okay. And break up your first paragraph in two. I think it's a bit long.

Well, it kind of is, but have you ever thought about why society really sends their kids to school? Okay. School has become part of our social fabric, but most people send their kids by default, because that's just what you do. Okay.

How many paragraphs is that? Well, I had it broken. Okay. Cool.

Perfect. That's perfect. And then, have you ever considered it could be one of the worst things to do to a child? So, instead of saying, have you ever considered?

I would actually stop at the first part. What was the end of the second paragraph? Or read the second paragraph. Because that's just what you do.

That's what you do. And then, the third one is? We were faced with this question. Oh, the third one.

Have you ever considered it could be one of the worst things to do to a child? Yeah. So, have you ever considered it as the worst things you can do to a child? Actually, you can leave that.

And then, I would go into your story. Right. And then, I would be like, your… We were faced with this question when our son missed the cutoff for school by one point.

Okay. So, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I would say, I was actually faced with this when my son wasn't accepted into public school. Okay. But, what I ended up learning from this, or when my son wasn't allowed in public school because I missed the deadline by one week.

And then I would say, but what happened next actually changed my life, and that now allowed my son to be three years ahead of any other student within his class. And then I would go into just breaking down the benefits of virtual school and what it is. And I would also change the headline to be less about the evil of public schools. I was trying to do the negative.

Yeah. The negative works, too. You could actually keep the evil of public schools, but it would be more like something like public school may not be the best route for your child or something like that. Here's an alternative option or whatever, right?

The headline needs work, but you get what I mean, something that's inferring that there's another solution than public school. It's virtual, right? Right. So good job overall on the introduction.

Okay, thanks. You're welcome. Thank you. You guys got to get the mic runner, whoever he selects.

Okay. Hi, my name's Leanne, and my headline is 11 ways affiliate marketers fail. Number two will shock you. Okay, remove the number two will shock you from the headline, but I like that.

Remove it? Okay. Yeah. And then…

Because then I would just read number two and I would ignore the rest. Okay. Here's the introduction. How's your affiliate marketing business going?

According to some article, 98% of online businesses, including affiliate marketing businesses, fail in the first year. After being in the industry over seven years and working with thousands of affiliate marketers, I was shocked to learn that after six months, 12 months, two years, and even after six or more years, many affiliate marketers are still stuck in their nine to five jobs. Are you at risk? Read these 11 affiliate marketing mistakes carefully.

Overlooking one or two could mean a difference between your success or failure. Cool. It's not bad. The biggest problem that I'm seeing with that introduction is that introduction is not bad.

It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. That intro, the first sentence, isn't hitting hard.

Repeat your first sentence. How's your affiliate marketing business going? Okay. And your second sentence talks about the failure, right?

Right. Repeat the second sentence now. According to some article, 98% of online businesses, including affiliate marketing businesses, fail in the first year. Okay.

Cool. So I'd be like… My first sentence? you know 98% of them fail right the chances are the person reading the article is failing with it so my first sentence would be like are you tired of generating no income from your affiliate business or something like that right it really like you're not alone did you know that 98% of affiliate business fail within the first year and then within that you can link to the source that talks about how 98% of online businesses fail right and then you can go into you know how you yourself were in the affiliate business you weren't making any money when you started off but then you learned a few things and you can talk about the exact number of things that helped you that change your life and how it helped you go from making zero dollars to X dollars right and then you can talk about how hey these tips or techniques don't just work for me they work for anyone in the affiliate business and here they are all right thank you hi I'm Carolina and I have my headline is seven incredible steps to a healthier you okay we repeat seven incredible steps to a healthier you seven incredible steps to what a healthier you healthier you all right you have to talk to the mic please okay I have for my introduction so you've been wanting to have a healthier lifestyle but don't know where to start that's like my question and then I have you're not alone I was there too you can have the light okay take your time you can have the healthier lifestyle you having always wanted and it doesn't have to be that hard I started with this incredible seven steps and they have changed my life okay so that's great how to change your life what did it do for you I was healthier like I was getting sick before all the time with a you know cold flu whatever and I have more energy more focus so within your introduction I would talk about before you started the healthier life you were getting sick all the time you don't have any energy and then you can talk about how you solved it with these seven techniques or tips or whatever it may be and then go into it see because without that personal like if you're just saying hey yes I also had an unhealthy life people know that I'm not healthy I'm not healthy I'm not healthy I'm not healthy people know they've had an unhealthy life but it doesn't really relate to Yeah a lot of people do but some people be like yeah I would get sick too yeah I don't have that much energy I was like I was getting sick all the time and I was only 26 when I realized I needed to change something like that that's great I would add that in because people want to hear that personal story that personal connection without that no one's gonna end up bonding with you right yes but it's a good start okay thank you you all I'm like you you got to find the mic runner hi hi this Pete Wilson the title of this blog was is your blog not attracting visitors in parentheses seven amazing strategies to fix this and then the introduction are you struggling to attract visitors to your blog I experienced that very problem I wrote blog after blog could not attract even one visitor since you're reading this I am suspected you have a similar issue read on and together we will uncover seven amazing strategies to fix this cool that's not bad I would actually adjust the headline more than anything else the headline isn't hard-hitting enough can you go over the headline again is your blog not attracting visitors in parentheses seven amazing strategies to fix this and then the are you tired of only having your mom read your blog here's how to fix it try it out so my mother's 102 I don't think she reads much anymore that's right I'll let you go you had the oil one right okay so I have my yeah okay so I have the headline of see how I'm saving my husband from death roll and then I have the sub headline here my husband's job is going to kill him and this is how I'm going to save him oh that's the sub headline the head no subhead okay see how I'm saving my husband from death row and then um my intro is do you always stress about whether your husband will make it home alive or expect someone else to break the tragic news and then give like a stat so I would adjust the headline you have it how you're saving your husband from death row and then I would actually end up you can end up doing it like my husband would have died dot dot dot if it wasn't for me yeah yeah cuz death row that's right so what the gentleman was saying is death row implies that he's doing something wrong her husband works in the oil field and it's one of the most dangerous jobs so she's going into it I would have actually started off and you did a good job but I would have started off my husband what was it I would have started off with something like my husband has one of the most dangerous jobs in the world dot dot dot can you guess what it is question mark and you're like no it's not a policeman it's not a firefighter it's something else he's actually works in the oil field and although that may seem like a great job yes it does pay well but it's also very dangerous a lot of things happen during the fields such as machines fly at you I don't know much about oil machines fly at you oil comes gushing out from the ground all I'm thinking about is the clamp it's now what's that TV show called Beverly Hillbillies okay so uh and then I would get it I would just start going into it I'm like my husband has one of the toughest jobs and he can he does it because it helps us pay all of our bills and I'm like have you been in the position where you know your husband's doing something for the greater good of the family or whatever it may be and then you you can say I was like as a wife or as a significant other here's how you can help them out and change their lives or something like that does that make sense the overall good start all right Jay Mike runner pick someone I don't even know where Jay is hi okay so my my headline is why stepping on crap makes me so happy that's a good headline I hope your feet don't smell so here I go ever happen to you that when you're in the badasses hurry and you you're wearing your new shoes trying to live through the rush of having a life and obligations you step on crap I bet it has and that you hated every body cell of that dog owner owner and every inch or four of that dog well it's okay to hate poop on your shoes and irresponsible owners and believe me if I was a normal person I would hate them too but like I am no normal person every time I step on poop I get so very happy and then that's a great introduction I would just add at the end is like every time I step on crap I get really excited and here's why you should too okay I didn't go into writing it great introduction and by the way she's from Peru it's good luck to step in crap in Peru all right you picked you got to grab Jay the guy who's running with the light is YouTube the best way to create leads online in today's online world we are looking for ways to create leads for online to market our products and services but between you and I most people aren't aware of all the strategies to use to make that make this happen for years YouTube have been a strong way to build your personal brand when it comes to building your online presence video is a very strong way to make this happen your go your goal when it comes to building a presence one of the best ways is to do it with video when someone can see your face they can get to know you you are sorry I gotta start oh that's okay don't know you don't have to apologize to know who you are and what you're about as if you've been best friends for years then I kind of stopped it from there cool so uh I would actually start it off number one any of you guys ever speak in the mic don't apologize if you know you're not going to be able to hear me because your notes are choppy and it takes you time to dig through your notes and find it it's okay we're all here to learn okay number two good introduction but I would actually start off with them something like do you know the cheapest do you know the cheapest channel to acquire leads from is question mark maybe so do you know what the cheapest channel to acquire leads from is question mark maybe it's Google maybe it's Facebook actually it's neither of them the best channel that I found to acquire leads from is YouTube and then I'll actually go into it I'm like did you know YouTube is the second most popular search engine in the world it's not only high in traffic or whatever it may be right a lot of people use it for personal branding Etc you can go into all those things and then at the end you're like YouTube's changed my life right I've been able to acquire X amount of leads from it yada yada I've spent very little dollars on it it just takes my time and here's how you can do the same cool hi guys my name's Missy I'm from New Zealand and I'm pretty fresh with blogging so my heading was to blog or not to blog and my introduction was um oh the heading is seven to blog or not to blog seven reasons why you need to get started today and then my introduction was have you ever thought about starting a blog but felt that you didn't know where to start I can totally relate as I felt that exact same way and then I discovered seven reasons why I needed to start today good introduction uh it's a bit short but it's a good introduction I like how you're wrapping in your personal Journey and how you are there I would also start talking about you know how you were there and you went through some struggles until you figured out how to get your blogging Journey kicked off on the ground and be like I made a lot of mistakes and I wasted a ton basically for you you don't have to go through the same mistakes that I went through here are the pitfalls or x mistakes or whatever it may be to avoid and here's how to get started on your blogging Journey right so then it shows people the exact benefit of oh cool if I read this I can avoid the mistake she made and I can get started in much less time or whatever it may be I have the mic back here okay go for it hi I'm Nancy 15 essential tips to keep your teenage daughter safe lock them away from all the boys tip number one do you worry when your teenage daughter goes out at night with her friends are you afraid that she might not know how to defend her defend herself if she runs into trouble I was sexually assaulted as a teenager I have a precious 10 year old daughter myself and I would do whatever it takes to prevent her from going through what I went through I also have been teaching girls self-defense for the past 30 years you have a good reason to you have good reason to be concerned according to the National crime statistic blah blah blah blah blah here are 15 tips to keep your daughter safe as she navigates through her teenage years that's great everyone stand up and give Nancy a warm round of applause the one thing I got your name right correct Nancy the one thing Nancy did that's awesome is she was very transparent within her introduction when someone's transparent like that what does it make you actually want to do read it that's right see a lot of people are shy there's nothing to be shy from whatever happened in the past happened in the past whether it's a good thing or a bad thing we can all live and learn from it and then go from there and hopefully avoid those same happenings again or whatever it may be but by being very transparent and open you're actually going to build a much stronger connection like now if she actually published that article like I don't actually even have a teenage daughter I don't even have a kid but I would actually read that whole post I'm like whoa this is interesting what is it right so it's like that's a good article next one I have it right here um my name is Angelita and thank you my headline was 17 strategic ways to score higher than 25 on the ACT five ways to score higher on 17 ways to score higher than a 25 on the ACT cool are you having a hard time getting the score that you need to get into your dream school you're not alone these tests are intimidating but it's possible to succeed and I know firsthand when I was in school I was able to crack the code and score higher than 95% of the population who took the test.

The result was seven full scholarships because of my ACT score. Was it luck? Heck no. Was it difficult?

Not really. Can you do it? Of course you can because I'm going to show you. I love that.

That's a good introduction. Here are 17 success tips that will show you how to score higher on the ACT. Why weren't you there when I had to go to college? You could have taken it for me.

We could have had you being Neil Patel. It would have made your ID. My life would have been easier. So that's good.

Next, Jay. Here, I'll give you the mic. Persistence. Okay.

Oh, my name's Patrice. Why LinkedIn is no longer the Holy Grail of the world? Well, I'm here to get that great job. Question is, would you agree that LinkedIn is considered the premier forum for your professional job search and business networking?

I'm guessing most of you would say yes. However, do you know that a recent article in the Business Insider revealed that job seekers and business owners have greater success if they have a website and a personal blog? And then I would put the link to the Business Insider. Yes, their own personal website that promotes their talents, qualifications, and philosophy is the way to go.

And for this reason, I have acquired my own blog. So the whole purpose of this article, if you had to say it in a nutshell, is not to talk about how LinkedIn isn't the place. It's to? The blog.

Because blogging will? Make you successful. Okay. So I would actually change my headline.

Your headline was? Yes. And why LinkedIn is no longer the Holy Grail to get that great job. So I would actually talk about how blogging, you can modify this, like how blogging, no, I would talk about how blogging is a better channel than LinkedIn within your title.

Something along those lines. I would figure out the title. Because if I read your title, I'd be like, all right, cool, LinkedIn's not the Holy Grail. All right, I'm going to just stop using LinkedIn.

I don't need to read the rest of the posts. But what we found out from your introduction is blogging is the Holy Grail. So if you end up talking about in the headline how LinkedIn isn't the best place and there's another channel better, you don't even have to mention how it's blogging. You can get into that in the introduction.

Then more people are much more likely to read your content. Because it like hooks them, right? But overall, your introduction's fine. You're saying, I should say, how blogging is a better channel than LinkedIn.

That's correct. Just that. You have to be more specific for finding a job, right? And that may not be the exact headline you use, but it's a start.

Then I would start tweaking it and trying to find the perfect headline. But you need to get into, because that headline could be jazzed up, right? But you need to get into that right away versus having the headline just about how LinkedIn's not the Holy Grail anymore. Because if you're telling people LinkedIn's not the Holy Grail, then that's it.

Why do they need to read the rest? Well, there is actually more to the post than that LinkedIn sucks. So you need to explain to others why they need to actually blog. Next.

Hi. Hi, everyone. This is Kimberly Vento here with Scott Vento from the Inspired Travelers. Okay.

My headline is, 15 Reasons Expats Fail in Thailand. Learn How to Avoid These Mistakes. So you want to live your dreams in amazing Thailand? Who wouldn't?

We did. We realized, and sorry, my notes are choppy. We realized we weren't getting any closer to doing what we loved. And after being stuck in a rut and on the verge of divorce of our marriage, we did the unthinkable.

We sold everything and we left for Thailand with just our dreams. You may think we're crazy. In fact, all of our family did, or at least most of them. Once we got to Thailand, we met a lot of expats who shared the same dreams as us, but they didn't have enough money to stay, so they had to return to their home country.

Here's 15 ways that we were able to create an incredible life in Thailand and stay while others had to leave. Cool. That's great. You did well.

Okay. And again, you shared a personal experience within there which helped you create that connection, right? Yes. So without that personal experience and opening up, most people wouldn't end up reading it.

That's the key. Always try to be transparent and share those personal experiences. So we're going to do one more, however Jay hands it off to him, and then we're going to get into the conclusion. Hi.

Hi. I'm Nikki. Can you talk closer to the mic? Sure.

I can do that. From the Unstoppable? My title is Seven Ways to Unleash Your Abilities. Do you get that gut feeling which screams, to you, yes or no?

Do you pay attention to that feeling? Most of you would be ignoring it, letting your logical mind step in, cramming your brain with 50 other competing thoughts. You need to be able to connect your mind and spirit as one. Being born as a natural sensitive, I've learned how to teach others step by step how to unlock your natural untapped talents and abilities, starting with these seven steps.

Okay. So I do apologize for this, but is there someone next there who would like to say a few words? Yes. Okay.

So I do apologize for this, but is there someone next there who would like to say a few words? Yes. So I do apologize for this, but is there someone next there who would like to say a few words? Jeffconn-deBthon.

Are there anyone who would like to say a few words? Jeffconn-de rollers? Okay. Anybody ready?

Okay. We're on the mic so … Jeffconn-de mac oh some guys live with傳鍵 Being born as a sensitive, live, sensitive, live, live, learned how to teach others step-by-step how to unlock your natural, unstoppable talents and abilities starting with these seven steps. Cool. So the introduction is not bad at all.

There's one thing that she's missing from there. What is that? The story, the personal experience, right? You need to, without including that in most of your blog posts, it's going to be very hard for you to connect with the reader.

So overall, introduction is good as long as you add that personal connection, story, et cetera, in there. That's the key. Even when you're talking about business stuff. For example, my blog post that goes up on Monday on Quick Sprout is about, I think it's called like seven lessons and three strategies I learned from launching my fifth blog, right?

And within there, I talk about how… I could, you know, I've launched a lot of blogs, they all have over 100,000 visitors a month, et cetera, so I'm like, creating a new blog should be easy, right? And then I talk about, well, it's not. It's hard for me to create a new blog just like it is for you.

When I launched my new blog, I haven't hit anywhere near there. I'm only at 28,000 whatever monthly visitors. And then I break down, you know, here's what I learned and here's what you can learn and the strategies that you can end up using to grow your audience just like I am having to do all over again, right? So you need to build that personal connection.

That story. Without it, people aren't going to bond as much. Okay? The next thing that we're going to end up covering is writing your body.

The body has to be detailed. You're not going to finish the body during this training session. There's no way. If you do, then you probably already had your blog post written or you used that gentleman's fine technique over there of all speaking into your phone.

You're almost done. You're done too. That's amazing. So assuming it's good.

Is it good? All right. We'll read it next. So unless you don't want to, I'm not going to.

All right. Cool. So yes. So with the body, use headings.

Headings break down your body. Every major section should have a new heading kind of like a book. Think of it as like a transition point. So your tip should be at least a paragraph, maybe two, and it should have its own heading.

So tip number one on being an ex-path is find an online business. I'm making it up. I don't know anything about being an ex-path. But let's say tip number one is finding an online business.

So tip number one would be like tip colon or tip hashtag number one colon. Right? Tip number two maybe live around other ex-paths. So tip hash pound sign two colon and then I would be like live next to other ex-paths.

And then be like living by yourself isn't a good thing to do. When you're living next to other ex-paths, they actually share with you on how they're generating income and they can help you out. And then go into where you can find other ex-paths, how to live next to them, et cetera. So all of that will help.

Did you have a question there? Yeah, no hashtag. I meant pound sign. My bad.

I use social media too much. Yeah, no, no, no hashtags. Pound sign. Oh, sorry.

Is there a difference in using? I've noticed there's heading one, heading two, heading three. Go with whatever looks good with your blog. You want to use a heading one, two, or three.

It doesn't matter for SEO. It's not like heading one has more emphasis than heading two or heading three. I use it as font size. So if the heading is bigger than the paragraph text, that's fine.

If you're using a heading one and a heading two and a heading three all in the same blog post, they will put more emphasis on the heading one because it's bigger in size. But in general, if you're not using other headings, you can just use an H1 or H2 or H3. Pick whatever one looks the best. Thank you.

When you're writing your body, also don't worry about keywords. I know many of you guys were worried about keywords, et cetera. We'll get into that in the second half. Write the body.

Use the words you or I. Get into the points. You're not going to finish your body. Just go and write for 15, 20 minutes, maybe max, and start cranking away.

We'll go over bodies in a bit, some this session, and then we'll also go over bodies when we come back. Promotion and more content writing is also going to happen when we come back. After we finish the body stuff, which we'll wrap up during the next session, we'll be going over conclusion stuff, and then we'll be getting into how to write. How to actually promote your content.

Sound good? We'll get into keywords in there. Is this helpful? All right.

There is no preferred font size. My one is readable. I'm blind. I have four eyes.

I'm wearing contacts right now. The picture I think they have of me shows glasses. Big. You had a test on it yesterday.

Since being here this weekend and picking up all this stuff, it's great information. If you've written a lot of good blog posts and whatnot, what would you… I know you said you could go back and make changes and whatnot. What would you go about other than making the changes we're learning today?

Is there another tip in terms of republishing an old post? You can modify old posts. You don't want to re-syndicate it in other places or other domain names because it creates duplicate content, which will hurt you. So avoid that.

What you can do is you can do a few other things from keywords to cross-thinking, etc. But we'll get into that in the second half when it comes to the promotion stuff. Thank you. All right.

I'll let you guys get started. Start writing away.