’13 Steps to Success – Part 1′

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I want to thank you for listening to this inner circle audio. When Travis asked if a few of us would be willing to make an inner circle audio, first of all, I wanted to do something on leadership, because that's something I teach: how to be the leader. How to go from an office environment, how to go from being in a cubicle to being in that corner office.

And I coach and mentor people, specifically engineers, that are looking to do that, because that's what I am. I am an engineer first, I guess, and then a marketer second. So that's a little different than most everybody else, but in this business, a lot of us are doing the marketing part part time, we have a full time job. And that's all right, because that's what we need to do. That's where we need to come from.

My name is Roy Harris, and I want to introduce myself, talk a little bit about where I came from. My background is very varied. I actually came from extremely poor beginnings. You've heard of dirt poor.

Well, my folks' first house had a dirt floor. I mean, that's how poor we were, all while I was growing up. I was extremely embarrassed to invite anybody to come over.

In fact, I didn't want anybody to even know where I lived, because I didn't want them coming over, because I was so embarrassed about how poor we were. And it is not because, you know, my folks didn't work. My dad worked very hard at his job, but neither one of my parents had a high school education. In fact, I believe my mom only went to the eighth grade. My dad may have made it to ninth. But they just didn't have a lot going for them to begin with. So they were very encouraging.

Maybe even more than encouraging that I get an education.

But I also had this entrepreneurial spirit within me that I didn't want to just work at a job all the time. I wanted to have something that was mine, my own business. And because of that, I had always worked. I've always owned something, whether a brick and mortar store, an internet store, some type of business. And part of that was because I started reading at a very early age.

And as I read, I liked reading success books about individuals. And I found that the really successful people were salespeople. That a lot of salespeople made more than their CEOs made. And I thought, I like that, I need to learn to become a salesman.

And you can't imagine how hard that was for me, because I was the shyest person in the world growing up. I wouldn't talk to a stranger. I wouldn't talk to anybody. And so it was something I had to force myself to do.

And I know there's a lot of people out there that feel the same way, that they just can't talk to someone. That's what I think is so a little bit humorous about a lot of the multi-level marketing companies that are out there. There's the three foot rule.

You know, talk to anybody that's within three feet of you, and if they're not within three feet, then just move closer. But that petrifies most people to do that. I mean, there's a few people that have no problem, they could talk to anybody. But for a very large majority, they don't want to just go and talk to somebody like that. And I was so frightened.

But I kept reading these books and I decided that this is something I had to learn how to do.

And so I took every opportunity to sell things. If they were selling candy, you know, in school for a fundraiser, I was selling candy, and my goal was to be the best candy salesman that they had.

And it was so hard for me to go up and knock on doors. And then finally I conned my parents into joining a multi-level marketing company just so I could sell the products, just so I could get myself out there, because I knew I would be rich. Now I'm talking about nine, ten, eleven years old.

And I wasn't particularly good at it, because I was afraid, and I'd go up to people's doors. And when I was young, I had a severe speech impediment, and I was afraid, and I was afraid of the speech impediment.

So that also made it very awkward for me to want to speak to anybody, and so I'd get very tongue-tied when I'd get to the door.

And it's like, "You want to buy this?" And it was very difficult.

I had to overcome the speech impediment, I had to overcome the fear. Everyone out there understands that, because everyone out there has something that is holding them back, or they think it's holding them back. And that's the key: it's something you think is holding you back, it's not something that is holding you back, unless you're using that as an excuse not to allow yourself to move forward. And I hope, if anything, that this will help you understand that you have to try. You put that first step. Any path that you go down, you have to take one step at a time to get there and to get to your destination. If you have no destination, then where are you going? So you have to be thinking about where you want to go and how you want to get there. So I've digressed a little bit.

So when I was twelve years old, I actually — part of my entrepreneurial spirit was, I found out I wasn't great at selling, and even though I kept doing it, then I took on jobs mowing, caring for properties. I always liked to think a little bit bigger. I wasn't the kid who went around and said, "Hey, can I mow your lawn for five bucks?" No, I found properties that were owned by banks, usually, that needed to be kept up, or the city was going to fine them. You know, if you've ever owned a piece of property — which I own a lot of property — I get these notices every once in a while. It's like, you've got noxious weeds and there's trash on your property and you need to get that cleaned up or we're going to fine you. So I would find properties like that, and it paid much better than the five dollar lawn mowing job did.

So with part of the money I received, I started subscribing to different magazines, because I had two different loves even back then. I subscribed to Popular Science, and amazingly I have a master's degree in electrical engineering and I test airplanes, which is probably the coolest job in the world if you have to have a job. In fact, whenever there's any comparison going on, it's like "my Corvette" or "my Ferrari" — it's like, no, I play with airplanes and they go really fast and they're really cool. Okay, so I win, sorry. But the other magazine I subscribed to was Success Unlimited. Now, Success Unlimited was a magazine published by W. Clement Stone, who I had no idea who he was at the time, but I loved reading those magazines because they were very uplifting.

I don't even know if they had anything on audio back in those days. I'm not a young person, so I'm not sure — there would have been a reel-to-reel probably, but you probably wouldn't have been able to buy it, or it would have been very expensive. So getting this magazine was my motivational material, because it had articles in there by Og Mandino and by W. Clement Stone and so many other great motivational authors, Napoleon Hill from back in the mid twentieth century, which seemed like forever ago to a lot of people — or now. But it was excellent reading material, excellent motivation.

And so eventually I kept going down the same path of doing both things, because my folks were very motivated on me getting a job and getting a good education so I could get a good job. So I pursued that, but always doing the other, so I'd bounce back and forth between working jobs or being a salesperson or something like that.

So eventually I had a chance to do something like that — I had a chance to work for W. Clement Stone, and I thought, it doesn't get any better than this, to actually work for the guy himself who published the Success Unlimited magazine. I was thrilled. And the first thing he did was put you through a two-week intensive training. He took you out of your environment, put you in a hotel room in a new city, and you couldn't leave. I don't even know if you could do that these days to anybody, but you were locked up, basically, in this hotel, and you had training for I don't know how many hours. Anybody else who's ever gone through that knows how intensive it was.

So another little side note: my sister came to visit me on the way to the hotel, and I was like, I'm going to go to the hotel, and I said, hey, I'm sorry, I'm in my two weeks, I can't even talk to you, I have no time to even talk to you. So I sent her off with my sales trainer, and they ended up getting married. But that's another weird story.

So anyway, we're locked in this room, in this hotel, for two weeks, very intensive, and then we basically went out on the road and sold insurance policies, but constantly training, constantly training on sales and motivation, sales and motivation. One of his best books — W. Clement Stone's — is The Success System That Never Fails. It's a step-by-step guide of what you need to do every day to be successful.

So as I was contemplating what I wanted to discuss, I wanted to teach about leadership tonight, but then I also thought, I've written a book called 13 Steps to Success, and why not share that with you in an audio format? I hope you enjoy this as much as I did putting it together a few years ago. So it's called 13 Steps to Success.

Where are you headed? Start today to begin a new journey, a journey of transformation. You have a chance for your life to become completely different than it is now. You have within your grasp the potential to change your life forever. Think about that. You have the potential, you have everything you need already inside of you. Do you realize that? You have nothing you have to wait for. You have nothing you have to wait on. You have everything you need within yourself right now to be successful and to make a difference in your life. Start today to begin a new journey, a journey of transformation. You have a chance for your life to become completely different than it is right now. You have within your grasp the potential to change your life forever. Savor those words. Listen to them again and again.

Now, as I said, my background in the motivational and sales field started very young. As I was reading biographies, autobiographies of great people, they all were salesmen in some form or fashion. So if you say, "I don't want to be a salesperson" — yes, you do. Everyone wants to be, or needs to be, a salesperson. If you want to be successful in business, you need to build and cultivate self-worth, you need to learn how to sell yourself. If you want to be successful in a career, you need to know how to sell yourself. If you want to be a leader, you need to know how to sell yourself.

Now, I studied a lot of different authors, and I was lucky enough, like I said, I was lucky, and I've worked with some great minds of this era — Linus Pauling, who won a Nobel Prize for nuclear physics, that kind of stuff. Anyway, a lot of you may not know who that is. And then, of course, W. Clement Stone — I had that opportunity to work with him and for him. And then eventually I had a chance to work with Donald Trump. So I have a lot of knowledge between these years, and I want to share that with people. Plus, I have 50 years in the field of engineering. As I said, I have a master's in electrical engineering.

I've studied human psychology, human motivation, what influences people. Because of this diversity, I can truly help people, and that's my big goal now, is to be able to help people. And so I hope this audio will help you. To have knowledge is not enough. Now, we've heard this.

To make use of that knowledge is what separates the haves from the have-nots. Studying all those books, all those leaders, working with all those leaders — it would have gotten me nothing if I hadn't been motivated to take action. To truly succeed, one must be an action taker.

Success can be simple. Success is straightforward. I believe many people do not strive for success because of the belief that it is complicated. It's not complicated. Some people are just simply unaware.

It is with awareness that the journey begins. And it is with application that the transformation takes place. But we can't apply knowledge unless we understand it. I've got to take a drink, I'm sorry.

In this presentation, you're going to hear things that you've heard over and over again. But as Oliver Wendell Holmes said, we all need an education in the obvious. So, step one in my 13 steps is: choose wisely and without fear. Now, what does that mean? Well, let's go back to the basics.

I'm an engineer, and so I like "one plus one equals two." Knowledge is one thing, but when knowledge is combined with understanding, then you have wisdom. And when we add the ingredient of application — applying what we know — the result is transformation.

So, when you add wisdom plus application, you get transformation. What's transformation? Transformation is when you are able to change your life and be the success person that you want to be.

Do you choose to be successful? Is it something you want to be? Choosing to be successful is the difference between extraordinary and ordinary. To be successful just means to strive for that little extra. That means you must strive to move forward when it seems the world is holding you back.

Absolutely, act with courage. Put fear behind you. Successful people do not step back into safety. They feel the fear and step forward anyway.

When we start to feel discomfort, we are growing, we are challenging ourselves. Do you feel uncomfortable talking to people? Do you feel uncomfortable talking on the phone? Do you feel uncomfortable making decisions?

And do you feel uncomfortable when you step outside? Do you feel uncomfortable when you step out of your normal path? The feeling of discomfort comes from a place of not knowing, not knowing what is ahead. As we put one foot in front of the other, no matter how small a step it is, the view becomes clearer and many times the answers are revealed.

If you are having a problem right now in your life where the road seems foggy, maybe all you need to do is make the step forward. Step forward, step forward, and everything will become clearer. Think of a mountain climber.

To climb the high, steep mountain may appear to be a huge task, and a mountain climber will likely feel fear, especially if it is his first time climbing that mountain, or any mountain. But as he moves forward and upward, the unknown becomes known, and the view of what is next, what is in front of him, becomes exposed, simply because he chooses to step forward, to take another step and then another, until he reaches his destination. Stepping forward into growth does not necessarily mean huge leaps. It could be small baby steps taken each and every day, moving forward slowly, easily, effectively, until one day...

There you are, miraculously on top. I want to take a second here — this is a principle known as Kaizen. Our brains are made up of different sections. The thinking part of our brain, the thing that makes us human, wants to make change. But the animalistic part of our brain says, "Are you nuts?

I'm not doing that." So there's always this conflict going on within you, within each side of us, inside each and every one of us. So as soon as we say, "I want to lose 50 pounds," your inner brain is saying, "No, that ain't going to happen. Remember the last time?" "We ain't going to do that, that starved me to death."

"No, not going to happen." So if you say, "I just want to lose a pound this week, maybe two pounds this week, I'm just going to go out for a walk around the block" — something that doesn't trigger the fear response — you've got to take it down. So whatever you're thinking that you want to accomplish,

you've got to take it down to the smallest part, the baby step that won't trigger the fear response that will stop you from doing that. Anyway, back to being on top of the mountain. Was it a miracle that you ended up there? No, it was the intended result. That's where you wanted to be all along.

People don't aimlessly and casually go out for a walk one day and wind up on top of a mountain. Well, hopefully not. Landing on top is part of a plan. Being on top, staying on top, choosing to go to the top starts with a decision. You have to know yourself.

Right now, you're in a box, a self-inflicted box, in other words, one of your own making. This box is made up of your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. What are your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors? Disciplines that have been consistently holding you back.

What are they? Think about it, take a second. We all have them. What's keeping you in your box?

What is preventing you from taking that first baby step, from achieving your goals? Be aware of your beliefs. Do you believe that money is evil? If you truly do, you will never be able to be successful, because part of success is measured by money.

I mean, that's just the way our world is today. It doesn't mean that a successful person has more money. In fact, you could be very successful and never have any money. But in this world, success is measured by money. Be aware of your beliefs.

Because they will determine what you are willing to look at and what you will refuse to look at. There are two important areas we must examine. We need to become aware of the things that we do or have done that sabotage our own results, so that we can do something about it.

Not so we can judge ourselves, but so we can make a decision to move forward in a positive direction. Judgment destroys and accomplishes nothing. So don't be judging yourself, because then you start getting down on yourself. Step outside of your body and be an observer.

Just have an awareness of what those things are that hold you, or have been holding you, back. But do not judge your past results. Instead, learn from them and move forward. Your future is in front of you.

Look in that direction. Judgment will only hold you back. It will make you feel bad. It will not support you. Do not judge yourself.

Being aware of the things that have held us back is like recognizing that there is an anchor weighing us down, keeping us from going forward and experiencing success. Even when we are on the right course, we've got to cut the anchor rope and let go of these weaknesses, these weakening behaviors. So you're not judging.

You're observing. Then you cut the rope of those things that have been holding you back. We human beings are habitual creatures, and we tend to do the same things over and over again. I'm certain you've heard the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

These results come from a place of being unaware. Awareness will give the answers. Be aware. Step outside of yourself.

Observe. Observe the things that are holding you back. You also need to be aware of the things you're doing that are contributing to your success. Why? So you can repeat them.

So you can recreate more success. So you can improve upon your results and continue to enjoy life at a higher level. Once you achieve great success, it is easy to repeat it, because you are now aware of what is required to create success. As far as going from $10,000 to $20,000, it's just this: repeat what you did to go from zero to ten, without all the heartburn.

Make the choice to be aware and continue to heighten your awareness, not only for today, but from this day forward. Increase your level of awareness as you go through these 13 steps to success. Develop the ability to be realistically aware of all your creative power, and embrace it, utilize it, engage it, to create the success that you've always dreamed of obtaining.

Now I'd like to give you an assignment, so this isn't just an audio to listen to. Your assignment for this lesson is to write down on a piece of paper all the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that have been holding you back. Will you do that? Now, after you've written all those down, I want you to take that paper and look at it, see what's been holding you back, think to yourself these things will no longer hold you hostage, then rip that piece of paper into little shreds, wad it up, and throw it in the trash. Psychologically, you're telling your inner self that these things are gone from your life.

Next, write on a piece of paper all the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors you have had that have made you successful. You may have to think about this, because it's so much easier to think about the things that hold us back. But what is it that has helped you be successful? And you have been successful in something, everybody has. Maybe you haven't made ten thousand dollars a month — that's not what we're talking about. You did learn how to ride a bike, you were successful. You did learn how to drive a car, maybe you're successful. You learned how to tie your shoe, you were successful. Take the tiniest things and find out what it was that allowed you to become a success in that endeavor.

Now take this paper and put it where you can see it every day. Read it, think about what great things you have accomplished, no matter how small they were. And every time you need to make a choice that seems out of your comfort zone, look at that paper and be fearless. Think, what's the worst that could happen? What doesn't kill us will make us stronger and wiser. Choose wisely and without fear.

Step two: your Friday night essence. This is by far the most difficult area for most of us to answer. What do you want to be when you grow up? And you may be 60 years old and you still haven't made that decision. You could be 25 years old, haven't made that decision.

Whether you ask that question of a 6-year-old or a 60-year-old, the answer will usually be the same: we just don't know. Most of us did not plan to be where we are now. Whether you are working in an office, a retail establishment, or a factory, was this really what you had planned when you were 19 years old? You had dreams.

What happened to those dreams, those desires, those intentions? Are you satisfied with your current life? Maybe you have made yourself satisfied, thinking that this is all there is.

But you're wrong. This is not all there is. Every possibility that was open to you at 19 is still open to you today. You may have to approach it a little differently, but it's still there. You may not pitch for the Yankees, but you can pitch in the minor league, or maybe a senior league.

The dream may need to be modified a bit, but never give up on your dreams. Never give up on your dreams. Setting your intention is deciding on an outcome in advance and making choices that will direct your future. Setting your intentions from desire will fuel the achievement of your goals.

Why is desire so important? If you don't have a strong desire for a particular result, you will likely not stay focused on your goals. You will find obstacles and roadblocks to be increasingly more challenging. Or if you get knocked down, you may find it harder to get back up.

When you have a burning desire, you'll still experience obstacles and challenges, but the desire will be the boost that gets you back on track and pushes you forward. If there were a straight and easy road to success, we would all be on it, and it would be crowded. But the way to success isn't crowded. The top isn't crowded.

Why is that? Because people aren't driven by their desires, and they don't set their intentions from their desires. They lack focus. They are unaware. They are too easily thrown off course and do not engage the tenacity and the determination required.

And the biggest barrier is the fact that they lack faith — faith in themselves and faith in others. All of these things are important: drive, focus, awareness, determination, and faith. When you have the desire for the goal, you've got to follow through.

And you will more likely follow through when you set your goals from those desires. You always have the choice. You choose how to respond to what shows up in your life. You choose your intention. Achieving goals is not an accidental occurrence.

Achieving goals is the result of a predetermined choice. You have unlimited opportunities, and these opportunities are everywhere. When you believe this, you know that it is true. New opportunities will be revealed to you.

Every door that is closed allows a window or another door to be opened. If you do not believe this, you will be blinded to new opportunities, even though they are likely directly in front of you. In my office, I put reminders to keep me focused. One of the reminder statements I have is, "I will choose to experience new possibilities in my life every day." Because of that, and because of seeing that, I'm aware, and I've been able to see new possibilities open up.

You can choose your outcome by setting your intentions, but before you can make that choice, let's consider one of the reasons people never achieve their dreams. Most people look at their own results for proof and validation of whether they can or cannot achieve a goal. When they can demonstrate that they were not able to create their opportunities in the past, or achieve their goal, they do not even bother to consider new possibilities.

Now, this is part of where our intelligent brain and our animalistic brain trigger, because the more animalistic brain will say, "Dude, you tried that. It didn't work. What makes you think it's going to work this time? Yeah, you can't do this."

I think it's very interesting that we have a lot of outside influences that are saying, "Why don't you go get a job? What are you doing in that network marketing thing?" A lot of those outside influences have an effect. But nothing like the inside influence that we have that stops us. So we have to be aware of what is going on inside our head.

Because if you're looking for an example to prove you can't do something, you'll get that answer. If you look for someone who has tried and failed, you will find an example, because they're everywhere. There are so many examples of people who have tried and failed, within your own life, within those around you.

On the other hand, if you open up your mind to new possibilities, even though you may not have accomplished the goal in the past, you look for the example of someone who has accomplished incredible things, you will find it. If you have an idea, then inherent within you is the ability to create it. You wouldn't have had that idea if you were not able to manifest it. It is important to reject the belief that if something has not been done in the past, it cannot be done in the future.

If our inventors had believed that, we would not be able to communicate via cellular telephone, the internet, the computers, and so many of the sporting events would never be accomplished if people actually believed that "well, it's never been done, so I obviously can't do it." We'd not be able to fly across the country in a matter of hours. We would certainly not be able to travel to the moon and return home safely.

Therefore, do not look at last year's results, or any other previous result, to determine your outcome as you move forward. Decide in advance where you would like to be. This will begin the creative process. If you know what you want in your life, you are already fully aware of your dreams.

Do you know for certain what you would have, do, or be, if you could have, do, or be anything? If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do? Step three: what is your passion? Before you set your intention, it is important to know what you have passion about. Do you know what you're truly passionate about?

If you do, that's great — do this next exercise to confirm. If you do not know what your passion is, pay particular attention. Read it every day until you know your passion, because without passion, you're doomed to fail. Discovering what you're passionate about is simple to do.

Simply think about what you love to do. One author calls this discovering your "Friday night essence." When you find what you love to do and discover a way to make money with your passion, your Friday night essence, you will find true success and happiness. Think about what gives you the most pleasure. As you ask these questions, think about the answers.

How do you know what you're passionate about? How do you feel when this is your passion? What do you talk about most of the time? What are you thinking about even when you shouldn't be? Which book section do you go to at the bookstore or the library?

Which magazines do you buy or look through? What articles do you read? What subjects were most appealing to you, or what were you the best at in school? What do you do research on? What are your hobbies?

What are the things that you really enjoy spending time doing? Start to think about what you love to do. Start to think about some of the things that you've done in the past that you became passionate about. Think about a time in your life when you were the happiest and most peaceful, and remember what it was that you were doing, having, or being. Ask yourself the appropriate question.

You will get the answers. If you do not have answers to the questions immediately, ask again and again until you get the answers. Try doing different activities: drafting, gardening, public speaking, lecturing, writing. Use your gut instinct to determine your level of passion.

Record your answers as you ask the questions and review. Be aware. Keep these questions for future reference. Your passion may change as you get older, as you expand your knowledge base.

Or your passion may change when circumstances in your life change. So you may want to keep these questions handy for future reference. You can also use these questions to determine your continued level of passion after you have set your goals, to decide whether the goals you have set for yourself are true for you. Here are the questions to determine your passion.

What do I really want to do with my life? What am I passionate about? What do I love? If I had total freedom, what would I go and do?

What would I do if I could do anything? If there was nothing holding you back, what would you do? If you had no limits, what would you do? What would you become?

What gives you the most satisfaction? What do you really enjoy doing in your spare time? What motivates you? What inspires you? What excites you?

What drives you? When I have had the experience of jumping out of bed with excitement, what was it? What caused me to get that much excitement? What have I done in the past that has given me the most pleasure? How do I want to contribute to the lives of others?

What would I like to give to others? How would I like to be remembered? If I think that I am important, I am very important. If I was granted one wish, and I knew that wish would be granted, what would I wish for?

You'll know what your true passion is by the way you feel when you answer these questions. When you reread your answers, you will feel the blood rushing in your veins. You will feel excitement and energy. You will feel inspired.

You will want to get up and go. Know your passion before you attempt to take the next step. Now I want to end here, because this is getting quite long, and we've only covered three of the 13 steps to success. If you're interested in hearing more, please let us know.

And maybe I'll be allowed to do another inner circle on this topic. I'd love to do some inner circles on leadership, because you can be where you are right now, but to be truly successful, you need to become a leader.

Because you need to create a team. Now, David has got great training on team building, and so you'll want to study that. But I have a few ideas of my own too, that coincide quite closely to what he's taught us.

And if somebody wants a copy of my 13 Steps to Success, I am more than happy to send this document over to you. But I would ask you a favor in return, so I won't charge you for it or anything, but maybe — this was a bigger cost.

There's still a few errors in it, and if I send it to you, I would like you to send me a red-line copy back of either changes or errors that you find in it. But other than that, I'd be happy to send you a copy. And I'm so excited that I've had the chance to present this information today.

And I hope it will be of benefit as you're listening to these audios. It's so important. Just as when I was younger, reading the Success Unlimited magazine, because there weren't audios readily available, especially as a kid. A reel-to-reel tape machine was usually quite expensive.

And to buy the tapes, especially recorded ones with that kind of information, was extremely expensive. And obviously, as poor as my family was, there was no way we were going to get something like that. But no matter where you start from, you can go anywhere you want to go. You can be dirt poor.

You can be uneducated. But if you stay dirt poor and you stay uneducated, it's only one person's fault. Everyone has opportunities. Just be looking for those opportunities. And I want to thank you so much.

Like I said, get a hold of me. This is Roy Harris, one of the original founders of the Empower Network. I was there in that room, in that hotel room, when it all began.

And I was the other engineer. Lawrence Tam was in there, and several of our leaders. And it was a great experience to have that opportunity to be there at the very beginning of this, and to take part in this.

So, have a wonderful life, and we will talk later. Thank you so much.