Module 14: Direct to the Next Step

Welcome back. It's good to have you. I'm really, really glad that you're back. Now, I hope you've learned an absolute ton as you've been thinking about how to ethically influence people. I want to point out a couple of things here before I give a demonstration, and really that's what I want to do is maybe even give several demonstrations if we have time, but I'll do at least one.

That's what I'm going to commit to. But let's talk about this for a minute because when we're talking about ethically influencing people, we started off with how do we sell people into a program, how do we sell people into a product, but really the same process, the same basic process that I'm teaching you right here is also the process that you can use with somebody to help them become sold on why they should change their life. Because even if you're not in the business of selling people a package or a product or a program, you are in the business of changing behavior. Who has kids? Raise your hand if you've got kids.

Raise your hand if you once were a kid. Okay, that's everybody. Hopefully. I skipped my teenage years. I was never a child.

So we've all gone through something like being a brother, a sister, a sibling, a parent. We've been in a situation where we've had to help people, maybe a boss, maybe a coworker, maybe a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, spouse, where we've been trying to sell somebody on change. This basic process for helping somebody change their life works really, really well. If you're trying to persuade somebody, well, let's just ask the question. Who has ever tried to persuade somebody to change a behavior?

Raise your hand high. Who here has ever met with incredible resistance when you do? You're pushing as hard as you can. And then what happens? They push back, you push harder, and then it gets into this vindictive thing like, I will show them that I am right.

I will conquer their resistance. Well, the only reason there's resistance is because usually one of these two things are missing. You don't have permission, you don't have cooperation, and you don't have them telling you why it's an important reason to change. If you have these two things, basically resistance dissolves. And this is super powerful.

I don't care if you're coaching entrepreneurs, I don't care if you're coaching people to break a bad habit or to lose weight. Same thing, build cooperation and rapport, help get them connected with their why, and then show them how doing the next action step will actually get them what they want and then ask them to take the next step and ask them confidently. And you'll find just by implementing these steps that you'll get better results. So this can be used to help people change. But what I want to talk about for just a quick minute is a couple things that comes up for people as they go through a sales process.

One of the most common things that people will ask is, well, what if I tell them the next step and they say no? Who's worried about that? Be honest, raise your hand. It's like, what if they say no? Assuming that you actually do have cooperation and rapport and you have an actual legitimate why, why might somebody say no?

Let's get a microphone. I want to hear from a couple of you. Some of you have a lot of experience here. Let's turn this back on. Somebody tell me, is this on?

We got it on. Let's go ahead and pass it to you, John, right? Yes, sir. So John, tell us, what is one reason why somebody might say no? They didn't set up the process correctly and the person was allowed to lie to them about their actual first cursory why?

Yeah, so one of the really common reasons is that when you go to connect somebody into their why, they actually haven't really connected into the why. And this is why you've got to listen with your eyes and ears as much as you do anything. You really want to take a deep dive and make sure that the person is in the heart space. So if you don't have heart space, this can lead into a no. Okay, that's one reason.

Why else? Because the link isn't strong enough and they didn't agree to it. So if you just start telling them and you don't get agreement on the link, then probably they would bring up an objection there. Right, so if they did connect to their why, but they don't really see how your program, your product, or your service is actually going to help them meet this, then the problem is in the linking. Okay, why else might someone say no?

Okay, let's give them back the mic. They just honestly don't like you and they're too scared to tell you they don't like you. Which means that you're missing... The cooperation and rapport. You're missing cooperation and rapport, right?

Could there be another reason? Could be another reason, right? Could be a bunch of reasons. Let's pass them the mic. Okay, there could be a bunch of reasons why not.

It could be a financial thing. There could be a legitimate financial thing. Let's say that the next step costs $20,000 and you had $15,500. Would you take it? Maybe not.

Maybe, maybe not. Or they think it's out of reach or it's more than they wanted to. I have a brother-in-law and this is probably ten years ago. He got really sick. He didn't have any kind of health insurance at the time.

He finally got so sick that he's like, I've got to go to the hospital. It was like over the weekend, all the doctor's offices were closed and he went in for a visit. Of course he said, how much is this going to cost me? They had no idea, right? That's medicine in the United States.

We actually don't know how much this is going to cost. I think that's become a little bit better. He goes in and he's like, well, I'm so sick, I'm going to do it anyway. Well, the bill he got, I think, if I remember right, was like $8,000 for a 45-minute visit or something like that because of the tests that they had run on him. He said, well, if I had known that it was going to be an $8,000 bill, I wouldn't have done it.

If they told me it was going to be two, I would have said, yeah, I'm sick enough for two. But I was not sick enough for eight and I resent the fact that they didn't tell me it was eight. You could have a legitimate financial concern here. Sometimes a financial concern is a value concern, meaning you haven't really got their why. Sometimes they just really don't got it.

The question that I have for you, and then we're going to do a demo here in a minute, is when you get a no, first off, is it okay to get a no? Yeah. It's just a moment to go, yeah, okay, check it in. Tell me a little bit about what you need. I want to make sure there's a good fit for you.

I want to make sure there's a good fit for me. Why did you ask him? Well, I'm not sure. They might lie to you here, but they might not. A lot of times if you've got good cooperation and rapport, they'll tell you, I don't got the money.

Oh, okay, well I've got this other package that might work for you. I've got something else. Let me help you because really I want you to be able to connect back into this. So let's find a way to solve this. But it will happen.

Now if you set this up really well and you're filtering people well, because part of the filtering process is making sure that by the time they come in for an interview with you, I really like to actually have them know what my packages are costing, okay, wherever the microphone is. Oh yeah, can I just ask a quick question? Yeah, sure. This is just a process thing. So you are, before you're getting into a conversation, you're finding out what their financial capabilities are, so you're not actually doing that at all in the conversation.

I could. If I don't know by the time I get into the conversation, I'm going to find out, because part of this, part of me actually assessing whether or not they can change, or whether or not I can help them, is to find out if there's a right fit. Now there's lots of different ways for people to connect to me, right? So I have a spectrum that starts at free and goes out to really, really highly priced, right? So I want to make sure that I have them slotted for the appropriate sized program based on where they're at, but part of my filtering process is to find out basically if they can afford my package.

Today, I try really hard not to have anybody come in and do a one-on-one consult with me unless they already know what my package pricing is. Now just one more quick question, and then I'll give back the microphone. Do you have your assistant do that? Do you do that through a survey process? How do you filter people for financial capability?

So I've done that both through a filter, through a surveying process, a coaching application process, and more often I have my assistant go ahead and hand that out, or she either emails it or she tells them over the phone, yeah, before we book this, I want to make sure we go over pricing so you know what the pricing's like, here's what the price is going to be for the sessions, is that okay with you? And some people go, well, that would turn people off, but my framing is so strong, right? Now in the beginning you might not be able to do that, but my framing is so strong in the beginning that by the time people come to me, they're willing to pay my price. And the ones that aren't, my secretary, my assistant will try to connect them with some other program that can help them out from free to low cost to group class to one-on-one experience but trying to match them, so there's a matching process. But the most common thing that I've seen in the coaching world is to go ahead and to do a coaching funnel where you just ask people, what do you want, why do you want it, how much are you willing to invest in your change, how much time are you willing to invest?

Then by the time they come into your office, you've already filtered them and you know that they've met some standard criteria and you know where to plug them in into your process. Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes sense. So that is the main way, that's the main way that I would think through that, but that really is why we start with framing and if you don't start with your framing, you can get into some uncomfortable positions. The other way to do it is before you get into the why, like right in here in this space, you do the survey.

Same thing but rather than doing it in a written form, you just do it verbally. I want to make sure there's a good fit between you and me and before we get into it, I need to ask some questions to make sure that there's a good fit on my end. I'm not desperate for clients, but I want to help the right people and I want to make sure that you're the right person that I can help. So is it okay if I ask you a few questions and I make sure I've got a cooperation report? Then I would do my survey questions.

I'd hit my four or five. Sometimes with actually some problems, I ask as many as 20 questions and that's where I insert it right here. I do that because I'm assessing whether or not I can help the person. Now it looks like I can help you, so let's go ahead and I just like to get connected to know why you would want me to help you. So why do you want help with this?

And then that's where I dive into that. But that's a really good point and this is 201 stuff. We just went through 101, right? There's like a 301 and a 401 and there's like a master class in selling. But just this basic process will really help you out in kind of thinking through where you are in the process.

This is called a survey or sometimes it's called a needs analysis. And the way I'm thinking about it is what can I ask the client that will tell me if they are actually a fit for me? And I will tell you that people who are really low motivated are not a good fit for me. And people who can't afford my programs, I will usually gift programs every once in a while, but they've got to meet certain criteria and we'll talk about that. But you can't gift every person that you work with, otherwise you go out of business, right?

Then you've got to be asking people for freebies and handouts. But if there's a legitimate need, I've given people stuff, but they have to meet certain criteria. I'm not going to tell you what they are right now. Maybe we'll talk about that later, but I think there's like seven criteria that I go through to determine whether or not I'm going to gift somebody a program or a process. Sometimes it is not the right thing to do and you can actually hurt somebody's chances of changing if you do that.

So you're better off just saying, hey, why don't you connect with my free stuff until we can come back around and you've saved up your money and you're ready for change. So cool. So what I'd like to do now is I'd like to do a demonstration of the entire process. We got some feedback from the video guys that would be more helpful if we sat down again. That way they can zoom in on our faces a little bit better.

So I'm going to do at least one demo, but maybe a couple. And what I'm going to demo in at least one of them is I'll have somebody role play and I'll have them do an objection. The other thing that happens is you get an objection down here. If you get an objection, what you want to do is you just cycle back up here and then you work your way back down the process. That's it.

Cycle back up to Y. Once you're up to Y, link it again and then run right back down. You go, is that it? No, I'm telling you, if you really got a good strong Y and you've actually linked it, most of the time that's going to overcome it unless there's something that's outside of your control and then maybe they're telling you that they're not really a good fit for you because maybe there's a motivation issue. So anyway, there are some other objection techniques, but that's mainly the way I think about it.

So let's go ahead and let's do a demo. I'd like to have somebody who'd like to have an interesting experience. We could have somebody up here who hasn't been up here yet. That'd be awesome. So who'd like to come up?

Okay, all right. Round of applause. Round of applause. Okay, come on up here. Just stand here for a minute.

Okay, look at the camera. Tell them your name here. My name is Dario Farnese. Dario? Yes.

Okay, Dario, it's good to have you. Good to see you. So I'm grateful that you're coming up here. We're going to go ahead and take a seat. Take a seat either on the right or left, whichever side will be better for you.

Okay, these chairs do wiggle a little bit, so we may get a little bit of dancing. Now, I'm not really going to mark out too much what we're going to do here because I'm assuming that you will have the ability to go back through and watch this several times. And so I'm just going to do the demo pretty much without pausing, but I want you to pay attention to how I'm doing each step along the way. Now, we're always assuming that by the time we've gotten to this point, there's been something going on. So we're going to go ahead and take a seat.

Okay, Dario? Yes. So I'm not really going to mark out too much what we're going to do here because I'm assuming that you will have the ability to go back through and watch this several times. And so I'm just going to do the demo pretty much without pausing, but I want you to pay attention to how I'm doing each step along the way. Now, we're always assuming that by the time we've gotten to this point, there's been some kind of filtering that's happened, right?

Some sort of filtering process has already brought them in. Now, Dario, you can... Did I pronounce your name right? Yes. Microphone.

Microphone. Thank you. That's what he was pointing to. Sorry, I was so slow. No, it's all right.

And me too. I was like just going to go for it, right? Okay. So are we on? Somebody give me a thumbs up.

Okay. We got a mic. So, Dario, we're assuming that you've already been through some sort of filtering process. Either you filled out an application or maybe you've contacted my secretary or my assistant and you've asked some questions. But I'm assuming that you're interested in some kind of personal change.

If you don't want to use your own stuff, you can just role play. Is that all right? Okay. So, Dario, why don't you tell me a little bit about what you want. I want to make sure that there's a good fit between you and me and I want to make sure that we're doing the best thing we can for you.

Okay. Okay. Is that all right? Right. So why don't you tell me a little bit about what you want?

I would like to have time freedom and financial freedom. Okay. I want you to hold the microphone just a little bit closer. And be able to help as many people accomplish the same thing. Okay.

So you want time freedom and financial freedom. Right. Yeah. And... And help others to do the same thing.

Yeah. And helping others is important for you. Yes. Yeah. Tell me, why is it important for you to have both time freedom and financial freedom while you help other people?

Because I'd like to have money to be able to help the other people. Yeah. You'd like to be able to have money. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. When it comes down to it. Yeah. And so tell me a little bit about why you want money. I want money so I can increase, you know, people's, you know, where they're, where they're at, where they're at.

They want to get to a better place, I guess. So you want to help people get to a better place. Yeah. Now, I'm just going to throw this out here and I'm not sure how to read this. Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. You're sure? I'm sure. You're sure? Right.

This almost might sound a little redundant, but why do you, why do you want to do that? Because it gives me satisfaction. Satisfaction. Yeah. Yeah.

And when you have satisfaction, what is that like? That is like a peaceful feeling. It's a peaceful feeling. Yeah. Yeah.

And if you were to think about that peaceful feeling now, like where do you feel that peaceful feeling? In helping other people. Yeah, like, but like in your body, like is it in your head, in your heart? Yeah, in my heart. In your heart?

Yeah. As you think about that peaceful feeling, this might almost sound like a silly question. But why do you really want that peaceful feeling? I don't know, so I can sleep good at night, I guess. So you can sleep good at night?

Yeah. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. You're pretty sure? Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'd like to become a better version every day of myself. Yeah. So I'd like to help other people do the same thing.

Yeah. So you'd like to be the better version of yourself? Yes. Yeah. And have a peaceful feeling about it?

Yeah. So, again, I know I'm asking the same question a lot of times, and I just want to make sure that I really get down to the core of it. At the deepest core of who you are, why do you want to do that? Because I love other people. Because I love other people, yeah.

And love is an important thing, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah. So, when it comes down to it, you want financial freedom and you want time freedom. But that really has a lot to do with love, doesn't it?

Yeah. So, what I want to share with you, Dario, is the reason that I do everything that I do. And this is the truth. This strikes a nerve for me, because this is like right at the center of why I do what I do. Right.

But everything that I do is because I love people. The reason that I left my corporate job, the reason that I decided to become a coach for a living, the reason that I decided to help people is because ultimately, for me, it's about helping people find freedom and love. Amen. Isn't it? Yeah.

It sure is. And my coaching program is a 12-week coaching program that's designed to help you love other people and find the freedom that you've always wanted. And the next step is to start off by booking your first session. Dario, are you ready to book that first session now? I'm not sure I am.

Okay. You're not sure you are. Right. Tell me a little bit about where your hesitation is. I don't know how much it costs and, you know, I guess that's an issue.

That would be an issue, right? Yeah. So, my assistant didn't give you the information already. No, I guess I didn't get that. She didn't get the information.

No. Well, that'd be a good thing. So, you're wondering, like, can I afford the $100,000 that he's going to charge me for this program? Right. Exactly.

Right? And the answer is, I don't know if you can afford it or not. Here's what I want you to really look at. I want you to go back to the freedom and I want you to think about love. And I want you to think about what is that worth to me.

Really. That's a really tricky question. Isn't it? Yeah, it is. Yeah.

And here's what I don't know, Dario. I don't know what it's worth to you. I'll be honest. I work with some people and some people, they say, my goal is a, it's a $2 goal. And I say, well, you've got a $2 problem and you need a $2 solution.

But then I've had people who've said to me, Will, I would pay anything to really be able to do that. Right. Now, I want you to make a smart decision, one that's good for you. Yeah. I want to make sure that what I'm helping you do will actually free you.

and help you love. Sweet. And this program is a $20,000 program. And it's designed to help you find that love and find that freedom. Now, what I don't know is I don't know if your goal is really a $20,000 goal or if it's smaller than that.

And that's something that only you can decide. So, Dario, tell me, just how big is your goal? It's bigger than that. It's bigger than that? Yes, it is.

Then I think it's time to get started. Are you ready to take the next step? I am. Okay. Okay, now let's pause here for a minute.

Let's give him a round of applause first off. Okay? We're going to pause for a minute for me, from the audience, and from you. We'll take a couple of questions. That was a pretty good demo, right?

And the reason, I just want to pause and I want to debrief a couple of things. One of the reasons why I challenged him a couple of times, it kind of looked like he was giving me surface answers for a little while. I finally did hear it. When he got down to love, who heard his voice shift and his color change? So then it was like, boom, I got it.

But up until then, I was like, he's kind of dancing on the surface. I'm not sure if he's going to go there or not. So I had to challenge him a little bit. Just go, are you sure? Now, I don't always have to poke somebody like that, but I thought Dario could handle it.

I thought he was strong enough that he'd be able to take it, right? And so that's how I poke him. I would have assumed that if he had come in, he would already have known the price on the package. So I should have made that clear. But that was actually a really good demo because now you got to see what I do with it.

Because that's exactly what I do with it. So it's something pretty much like it. But what kind of questions do you got? Either for me or for him? One over here.

Let's grab the mic here. When you're opening up like that and you're starting to open the cursory questions, how do you know how to mirror that person just correctly enough to where you're at the same level but not just below it or above it to where you're on the same level playing field so that way you're creating the cooperation? That's where I struggle at. So I'm not sure I understand the question. I want you to phrase it a different way.

Basically, if you're having rapport with someone and you're communicating back and forth like you were doing, it was very obvious that you were definitely listening because you were picking up on certain things. That's why you were challenging. How do you keep it in check to where you don't over-challenge it or under-challenge that situation to where you got that? Gotcha. So how do you keep it at the right?

Yes. How do I match with the right level of intensity and not blow them out? Right, exactly. So the meaning of your communication is the response that you get. If I had challenged him and I blew him out of the water, now I might lose a client that way.

But there's a short answer and a really long answer. I'm going to give you the short answer right now. The short answer is you do it a bunch and you watch what people's responses are and then you start to adapt your response and you're going to get a feel for it. Now that is not helpful for the new person, but it's the truth. If you do this 100 times, you will start to get a feel for what it's like.

If you do it 10,000 times, you're going to really get a feel for it. If it's your first time, you might not quite know just how intense you go for it. So you've got to really learn how to take that balance and just test, measure, and adjust. So one of my philosophies is I'm going to test a response. Like when I challenged him, I was going to test a response and see how he responded.

I was going to measure that based on his body language and his voice tone and notice if it was working or not working. And then I was going to adjust and adapt my response based on his feedback. Have I ever blown somebody out of the water by asking a question that was too hard or something like that? Yeah, of course. So has everybody else that's ever been in the field.

So you do your best and you learn how to adapt. One of the things though I do watch for is I watch for the people that I need to be extra soft for and I read that before I ever start asking them questions. So you start to get a feel for who you can be real direct and who you need to be soft and gentle with. There's different language styles. Let me draw something up on the board here real quick that I think will help out.

Can I erase this? Is this alright? You guys got this? We're not going to take a deep dive into this, but I want to give you the basics because I think it relates exactly to what you're talking about right now. Is that alright?

With language styles or with suggestion styles, there is a direct approach and an indirect approach. Which one is right? Me either, I don't know. Depends on the client. It's not like an absolute like, oh well being direct with people is the right way to go.

Telling people what to do, that's where it's at. Well that works for some people, but that doesn't work for other people. You will, if you're too direct with some people, you will alienate them. Who knows what I'm talking about? Raise your hand.

You just push them away. But if you're too indirect with some people, they're like, I don't even know what he wants. Forget it. So there's direct and indirect. Direct.

I could ask him something like, what do you want? That's pretty direct when it comes down to it. I could be real indirect and I could say, if I knew I needed to be soft with them, I could say lots of people prefer many things. There's different kinds of goals that work for different people, and I want to make sure that you have a program that really works for you. Some people, they're more into a deep feeling of connection and other people are really wanting a result.

I suppose there's lots of possibilities. What might you want? Still kind of direct, but indirect too. Now you go, that would drive me crazy. Well that does drive most people crazy, except for the people that need to hear it that way.

It's the truth. So you've got to kind of read. Does this person want direct feedback from me? Do they want indirect feedback? Do they want me to tell stories and listen?

And do I want to do that? Or do they want some directness? Then inside of approaches, there's an authoritarian approach. I think this is right. This is close to right.

Like English teachers, you'd probably be driven crazy by that. And then we'll go permissive. This has more to do with attitude than whether you're being direct or indirect. An authoritarian person might say, you need to pull your head out of your butt and take the next step. I've got a sales guy right now that I work with that actually is that direct with people.

And he says it with love, actually. He's like, dude, if you keep on doing this, you are going to burn your family's finances into the ground. You need to pull your head out and you need to take the next step. If that was aimed at me, that would actually probably be a little bit... I'd be like, too much.

So that's direct and authoritarian. Now direct and permissive is, are you ready to take the next step? Asking permission. I tend to kind of live right in this world a lot with my communication style. But there are people that need to respond down here and you've got to learn to read those people and they give off signals.

But you can test the waters with really easy things like asking them to sit in a chair and just notice, if they like to narrow their eyes or something when you're giving them your first suggestions, then you've got to soften up. Typically speaking, the more somebody gives you the body language signals like they're disconnecting, you need to move more permissive and more indirect. That would be my short answer. But you only get that really through experience and making a lot of mistakes. There are people who tell you there are shortcuts, but I'm just telling you, mostly that's like making mistakes and getting experience.

All right, welcome back guys. The other day we were cutting a segment on how to sell ethically, basically how to use persuasion in an ethical way and how to use a process to help you quickly connect with your prospects and bring them in a way that they actually enjoy the process and you're meeting them right where they need to be and moving them on. Off camera, we got a really good question that came up and I thought it was an important question that we actually deal with it again here. It's a new day. You see my shirt has changed.

We're on a new segment here, but I just want to make sure that we give you great value and we tell you what to do when things don't go quite right because let's be honest, if you're out there promoting yourself, if you're out there having conversations with people, eventually you will meet a mean one. Raise your hand if you've ever met a mean person. Raise your hand if you've ever been the mean person. Ooh, that's a painful one. Yeah, me too, probably, right?

So it happens from time to time, but I want to show you how to think through the process so that you can really do it. Now, Dave Wood was the one that asked the question and I'm just going to... We've already given Dave a microphone and Dave, why don't you tell us a little bit... First off, give us a little bit of background about this. Like, why is it that you...

What is the question and why is it that you asked the question? Like, what's the history? Do you want me to ask right here or come up? What would you... Yeah, just come on up.

Everybody, round of applause for Dave. Round of applause for Dave. Dave is an awesome guy and one of the things that Dave has done is Dave has trained a lot of people in the sales and marketing space and he's helped a lot of brand new people go out and launch new businesses and so he's seen a lot of things that can go wrong. He's also seen a lot of things that go right. So Dave is, like, awesome.

One of the things that I really appreciate about Dave's selling style is that Dave is, like, super connected to people and he really genuinely wants to help them based on where they are. So give us a little bit of background about the problem and then a little bit about what actually... what can happen to a new person periodically. Yeah, yeah. Let me explain where I've seen it, too.

So the essential problem, I'd call it something like the alpha heckler, right? And it's somebody who basically is either trying to kind of subvert your expertise or authority. Sometimes they're actually not even being injured. They're just not even doing it on purpose. They're just doing it because they think you're weak or because the frame's not right or they think you're trying to sell them something or they don't have any background on you.

So for a lot of new salespeople, especially for a lot of new marketers, I work with tons of people in network marketing and home business, salespeople, people that are trying to sell something online but they've never done it before. Coaching, too. Yeah, they're new. They don't have a good frame. Sure.

And then also a lot of people in the home business industry, they're working with other people's new people, so then they get their hecklers even if they're framing their own stuff right. Right. And so essentially what happens is that you're going, you know, and you're working with a bunch of clients, you're working with a bunch of prospects, and then you've got somebody who just pops up and starts pelting you to death with questions. Right. And when, they're not really asking questions.

Right. What they're doing is like they ask a question, you start answering. And they cut you off. Yeah, they cut you off, they ask another question, you start answering, they cut you off, they ask another question, and they're essentially being a jerk. Right.

Even if they don't know they're being a jerk, they're being a jerk. And a lot of new people, they have a really hard time with that and it makes them feel bad and they just get, they kind of cower in and they don't know how to deal with it because most sales training doesn't teach people how to deal with this. Yeah. So I was wondering what your strategy is for dealing with the alpha heckler because it's something that will pop up from time to time even if you have a really good frame. It'll pop up way less, right, the better you get.

But it's going to pop up, especially if you're new or if you've done it a lot of times. It does pop up from time to time. It's not super common, especially once you establish things the right way, but it does come up. Dave, for just a minute, I'm going to have you step over here. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

So just hang out over here. I'm going to answer a couple things. Now Dave, if you want to add anything to this, I think you have some really valuable insight that might be able to help out people. Even if you're not in the same type of business as Dave, if your passion-based business is in another space, you can use the same type of strategy that he uses or that I use. And one of the things that I like to do in this training is that I like to bring different people on because different people have different perspectives.

And who here learns better when they learn from multiple people? And that's one of the reasons why we're bringing on a couple other experts like Dave to be able to give some insight. But here's the way that I think through it. First, let's go to the whiteboard. I've rewritten up here some of the key points that you need to pay attention to when you're doing the sales process.

Let me just run through it real fast again because the repetition will help. So before you do anything, you want to frame and filter. Framing means that you define your role, especially in the interaction. So the ideal position that you want to be in when you're going to present to people is you want to show up as an expert or as a perceived expert. Raise your hand if you know what I mean.

So if you go in to talk to a doctor, for example, what's your mindset? Unless you hate doctors or something. But if you're a normal person, you're going to walk in there and you're going to imagine that this person has expertise and authority so you're at least going to listen to what they have to say. Raise your hand if you generally listen to a doctor. Raise your hand if you wouldn't just so we get a feel for it.

So we've got a few that are like, no way, I know too many doctors or whatever, or I had a bad experience with one. So most of us will listen to a doctor's advice at least. We'll at least fully consider it because we know that they have got some kind of authority, some kind of expertise. This has to do with your framing. So here's what I'll say.

If you want to make your life a lot easier, the way to deal with hecklers is ideally before they get to you. Does that make sense? So that all of your marketing, all of your sales processes should do something to make sure that the person knows who it is that they're talking to before they ever get to you. So for example, I'm going to give you a couple of examples. I've got a very good friend that is in the coaching business and before he will see anybody, he has them watch a 30 minute video in his waiting room.

So they go through an entire 30 minute video and inside of that video are testimonials. Inside of that video, he's answering common objections. He's also showing himself speaking in front of groups. He's showing himself getting an award by professional organizations. And so by the time they come in to sit down with him, they've at least seen that video, even if they didn't know him before.

And they're like, oh, okay, well. He's there and he has in his office, he also has some magazines, some professional magazines in the coaching space where he has a headshot on the front cover of the magazine. So like, oh, you know, like world's top 10 coaches, there's his face. And so he comes in with a great deal of credibility. Now, if you're new, you might not have all of that, but you could put together a 30 minute video or 20 minute video or 10 minute video.

And you say, it's really important that you watch this before you come in to see me so that it answers a lot of common questions and it'll just kind of set things up so that our interaction goes more smoothly. Can I send that over to you? It could be five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever it is. And that way you're working on the level of framing before they ever come in. Raise your hand if that makes sense.

So you're framing the interaction before you ever have the interaction. Now there's another way to do this. Another way to set up the frame and the filter is like in my example, what I have is I have an assistant. And my assistant will actually filter and frame for me. She goes through certain things that she does before a client ever sits down to talk to me.

They can't get my time until they go through the assistant. If they try to get my time before they go through the assistant, I send them back to the assistant, even if I know them. So if I know them, I might pick up the phone and go, hey, yeah, Bob, great to connect with you. Absolutely, I'd love to help you. Tell you what, I don't run my own schedule.

Can you connect with my assistant and schedule with her? Is that all right? Or can she reach out to you? Sure will, no problem. I actually don't even know what I'm doing next.

So you actually need to talk to her because I'm so busy that I don't know. I wouldn't know where to put you and I don't want to mess up the schedule. So can you talk to Vicki? And then people go, sure. Then they talk to Vicki and Vicki does this framing bit so that before they get to me, before we have the conversation, there's a bunch of framing around it.

So ask me, how often do I get a heckler inside of the office? Like almost never because they're framed and filtered out before they ever come to me. They got to work more hard. They got to work more hard. Tony Robbins.

Now I don't know this personally, but I've heard this from someone who's familiar with his process, one of his former coaches. Now this is like, they coached for him like 20 years ago. This has probably changed. But before anyone can coach with Tony Robbins, who I have a lot of respect for, what'll happen is, is that Tony actually refers them into another coach first, one of his inside coaches. They have to go through that coach, through a process, and then still want coaching from him.

Then they have to go to a filtering person, someone who's going to do an interview with that person to make sure that person is a good fit for Tony. Then they have to write a check for a million dollars and put it down as a deposit before they get to see him the first time. What's the likelihood that person is going to come in and heckle Tony? Like not going to happen, right? It's not going to happen.

They've already gone through a coach that's filtered them. That coach can say, you don't want to see this person or whatever, right? Let's just go here right now. Do you want to work with everybody? No.

That doesn't mean they're a bad person. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. There's just certain people that you're not qualified to work with. You don't have the training to work with them. There's certain people whose personalities might make them not pleasant to be around, right?

For you at least, right? So you don't want to work with that person because you're not a good fit. And then the third group of people is, you really want to work with awesome people. Who wants to work with awesome people? So the easiest way to work with awesome people is to think through, how am I going to frame and filter out all the people I don't actually want to work with?

So if you don't want to work with a certain kind of person, you make a video that says, I don't work with this kind of person. If you're a whiner and complainer, I will actually refund your money or not, or whatever your process is. I will refund your money and turn you away because I don't work with whiners and complainers. So if you're the kind of person that whines and complains and doesn't allow me to breathe between questions, let's just save a lot of time and space, go somewhere else. I will give you three referrals of people I don't like that you can work with.

So you can do something like that. You don't have to say that. I'm kind of joking. Well, I actually do know some people that like working with jerks, and you can contact them at this website. Send them to the competitor.

Well, but really, let's be honest. This is not about a person being a bad person. This is about not necessarily being equipped. I am not a psychologist. If somebody comes in with a borderline personality disorder, good person, and they want help, I'm not equipped to do that.

Raise your hand if that makes sense. If this person has a severe bipolar disorder, I'm like, Will, can you help me with my severe bipolar? They'll be like, no. I don't have that training. I'm not the right guy.

And I know somebody who loves working with people with a severe bipolar disorder. In the psychological community, let me go give you a referral, or in the medical community. Does that make sense? Raise your hand if you're with me. So the easiest way to deal with these people is before they ever get, you want to frame and filter.

Turn to your neighbor and tell them, you don't actually want to work with everybody. You only want to work with the people that you want to work with. So then the question is, have you become very clear on who you want to work with? So this is the clever way of never getting there. Now sometimes you get put in situations where you open yourself up to unpredictable things.

So for example, every two weeks in the community, I go out and I make a presentation. Into the community I invite whoever. And sometimes people are bringing people that don't know me. If I'm going to get a weird heckling situation, that is where I get it. At a free event, open yourself up.

community, right? The place where, and that's in the coaching business. In the network marketing business, this would be most, if you have good framing and filtering, this would be most likely to happen when you're doing a home meeting or a webinar or something like that. Something where people's inviting somebody that hasn't looked at anything, that don't know what it is, and they're just trying to drag somebody there. Or maybe the person like dragged them there with bad framing because they're brand new and don't know what they're doing, right?

Let me give a quick metaphor here to help you understand why this comes up, and it's the doctor thing, okay? And the reason why I'm spending some time on this is because, number one, I don't want you to have to do it a lot, but number two, when it happens, you just don't really want to work with these people, and you've got to be clear on who you are, and then it's actually easy, and we'll show you how to do that. But the metaphor is this. When you go to see a doctor, two things are happening. Number one, you're going to see him because something's wrong or you want to fix something, right?

Like usually you don't go to the doctor feeling great and be like, I feel great and want to feel great more. Maybe you go see a nutritionist or somebody at like the gym for something like that, right? But you go there, you're like, you know, I've got this pain in my stomach, okay? So that's number one, you've got a problem, you're asking, you've got a pain, you're asking. Number two, the doctor just doesn't start pitching you, right?

So like if you just walk into the doctor, there's no appointment, and then he goes, sit down, and he says, you know what, we're gonna have to do surgery, you'd be like, who are you? What's your... you'd go into heckler mode immediately, right? Or let's say you're on the street corner right, and somebody walks up dressed like a doctor and just start passing out their business cards and telling you have a problem. Right.

You know what I mean? Hey, are you open to a little more surgery? Yeah, you'd be like, who are you, right? So that's actually normally why this comes up, but when it comes up, you just want to actually do what Will's gonna show you how to do. So I want to ask him how to deal with that.

Here in a minute, because I want to give one more thing. Does that make sense, everybody, the metaphor? Okay, raise your hand if that makes sense. So what we're talking about basically in this process is like before you ever talk to somebody, you've got to have some sort of process in place, and if you don't have a process in place to frame and filter, you're in trouble. If you're doing a live presentation, let's say for example with a live presentation, here's another way to do it, and I don't care if you're doing a home meeting or if you're a coach doing something up in your in your office, before I take the stage, and I don't always do this, sometimes I don't have the personnel or the staff with me to do it, but if I were to, if I knew there was like a bunch of people in the room who didn't know me before I took the stage, I would have somebody who did know me stand up and do an intro, read a bio, read a testimonial or two, and give their own personal feelings about me before I took stage.

That will also minimize the level of heckling, right? If I were to bring Dave on stage and I was doing a home meeting, okay, right? If I were to, so now I'm in the network marketing space, if I'm the network marketing space, I bring Dave on to do a home meeting, I would say, Dave, don't take stage yet, okay? Before you come on, how do you want me to introduce you? And I'd say, hey, here's David Wood, he's built teams of hundreds of thousands of people, he's done hundreds of millions of dollars in sales, I don't know, like about 200 million, something like that, about 200 million dollars in sales, he has helped develop million dollar earners, multiple million dollar earners, and more hundred thousand dollar earners than he knows how to count, he doesn't even know all their names, and so I really want you to pay attention to this guy because this guy has something that he's going to add to your life and something that can really dramatically benefit you, so I want you to pay attention.

Now, Dave, come on up, and as Dave comes up, I would come on in, I'd shake his hand, and I do what they call a power transfer, where I would take all of my credibility with my audience, right? I might give him a little hug or something like that, and just kind of boom, it's like there, I'm sealing it in, that make sense? And then I would go, hey everybody, let's welcome Dave. Who's likely to heckle with an introduction like that? Some people still will in certain environments, and so if you're doing something that isn't an environment like that, if you give people an opportunity to just leave right at the beginning, yeah, you'll also get rid of a lot of it, but sometimes it'll still come up.

Yeah, but barely ever. Let's talk about why you want to be here, if at the end of five minutes you want to be here, there's the door. Yeah, you're welcome to go. And you're welcome to go, we're just here for the people who want to be here. I do that in my office, just give people a way out, don't block the door, don't tape the exits, right?

Then you'll, then you'll increase your thing. Also, if you have good rapport and good cooperation, are you likely to get heckling? No, right? Not at all. So if you get, if you get heckling, or if you get somebody being really angry, what it means is they don't understand your frame, and they don't, there's no rapport and connection, they're not connected to their why, and so you want to go back up to where the problem is, and the problem is almost always in frame and filtering.

Now sometimes you've got to be willing to interrupt the energy that comes up, and just invite people, say like, hey listen, this is only for people who want to be here, if you don't want to be here, there's the door. Or if I'm in a one-on-one context, I don't have to work with everybody, and before we really decide to work together, I've got to decide if your situation is one I can help. Who can argue with that? I don't even know if I'm the right specialist to help you, like I can't answer your questions until I ask you some. So I'm gonna put myself back into the driver's seat, back into a place where we can connect.

So what Dave is gonna do for just a minute here, Dave, okay, is Dave is going to, and we're gonna sit over here so it's a little bit easier to see both of us, but Dave is going to step out of his normal myself, Dave smile for the camera here, okay, Dave's gonna step out of his normal myself, and he's gonna like step over here into evil Dave, okay, so step right over into like the evil mean Dave. Heckler Dave, so now he's like, look at the camera, alright, here he is, he's heckler Dave, real Dave is over here, okay, and now mean Dave is gonna take a seat over here, everybody give a round of applause for mean Dave, alright, this is fun, we'll put Dave back into his real self over there, okay, so Dave has come in for a consult and by whatever miracle he's managed to make it through my filtering process, and like I don't know that, this has happened, okay, it will happen to everyone, everybody poke your neighbor and say it will happen to you too, right, it will happen to you too, okay, it does happen, it's even happened to you, right, even recently, right, it's like last year or something like that, so it does come up, so Dave has managed to, well I should call him George, okay, George, evil George here has managed to filter through my process, and we're just sitting down, and I'm trying to build rapport and cooperation, and what he's gonna do is what most people do is they'll just like start interrupting, right, so hey, hey George, how you doing? I'm doing awesome, thanks, yeah, great, well it's good to have you here, I'm happy to be, well let's go ahead and get started, what we need to do is we need to really take a minute or two, and like, you know, figure out why you're here, and well really I just want to know, like I saw this thing where you're charging $20,000 for this change seminar you do, and what makes you qualified to do that? Okay, I'm gonna pause you just for a second, Dave, whatever, hang on, hang on, no, this is really important, I want to know I'm gonna return on my investment, listen, stop, okay, I don't know if I want to work with you or not yet, and so I'm gonna be really clear, I only work with clients that I want to work with, and I don't know if I want to work with you, I'm not gonna give you my credit card, well I don't even want your credit card, in fact, if you're gonna keep on asking me dumb questions, I'm gonna ask you to leave, so my question is, is do you want to be here or don't you? Because if you don't want to be here, I don't need to work with you, but if you do, I want to actually help you out, so tell me, do you want to be here?

I actually feel a little nervous now, I'm gonna go, okay, you're gonna go, that's fine, there's the door, and when you decide that you need help, I would love to have you back, but before I can help you, let me tell you a little about the way the process works, okay, I'm an expert in what I do, I'm very, very good, but I only take the right kind of client, and before I decide that I can work with a client, I need to make sure there's a good fit between the two of us, because we got to work together, so if you aren't a good fit for me, I will actually turn you away, and that's for your sake, as much as it is for mine, so my question is, is are you the right kind of client for me? Once we determine that, then I'd be happy to answer any questions you've got. Well, I was just wondering if you could heal my borderline personality, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia? Probably not, it's a good question, and probably not, we need somebody with specialized help in here to help you with that, so George, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna make a good referral out to the community for you, okay, is that all right? Yeah.

Okay, somebody who's qualified to handle this kind of thing. Okay. Okay, everybody, round of applause for Evil George, boo him for us, boo! Okay, now step back into Dave, okay, now he's gonna take back all his superpowers, so Dave, just kind of, here you are, we're gonna like have you shake off all of that stuff, okay, right, there we go. Putting that other personality back in the chair.

Yeah, the evil, the evil guy gets to stay over here, but anything you wanted to add, now Dave, would you do this differently? No, exactly the same, so basically if somebody's a jerk, you don't need them, just remember that, so basically it's just, that's the attitude, is they're doing that because they think you're trying to get them to do something, or that you're trying to persuade them into something, or they're trying to like, you know, subvert you, and sometimes you just, you just say, hey dude, conversation ends if you don't stop, you know, like this, you know, so, and people will just cut it out, or you, if they're on a phone call, you just hang up. Yeah, I had, so ask me, somebody asked me, Will, have you ever sent a client away? Yeah, I have, not often though, usually what will happen is, when you do that, they go, oh wait, you're not trying to persuade me? Dude, I don't know if you need my help, like, why would I persuade you to do something that I don't even know that I can help you with?

Let's pause for a minute, let's back up, and remember, I'm really good at what I do, but I, like, if I'm the wrong fit, I'm the wrong guy, I actually don't want to help you, doesn't even make any sense, that'd be bad business for me, and bad business for you, so let's save ourself a lot of grief, and figure out if you should be in the right place, if I am the right guy, and if this is the right time to help, that make sense? And then they go, oh, okay, right? The only thing worse, just remember this, the only thing worse with sitting there and allowing yourself to be heckled, is actually selling something to a heckler, and having to deal with them. Okay, only thing worse. Yeah, so make your life easy, remember, you get to work with who you want to work with, if you find yourself working with a bunch of really difficult personalities, it's actually something you're doing.

It's something you're doing, it's something in your framing, or your filtering, oh man, everybody I bring in, like, they don't follow through, and they don't take any action, and they're terrible clients, bad news, hold on your seat, hold on your seat, oh, this is mean, I'm gonna say it, it's your fault, okay? It's your fault, and you got to change something in your process to get better clients, because the reality is, like, most of humanity is awesome, and there's a big chunk of people out there that want to work with you, and will make you happy, like, you'll walk away at the end of the day going, I love what I do. If you're walking away at the end of the day going, oh, I don't want to go back tomorrow, something you're doing, it's something you're doing, and you can change it. So that's it, round of applause for Dave, awesome Dave, he's amazing. Go take a seat, Dave.

So just remember, you're in control, you're in the driver's seat, you get to work with who you want to work with, but you've got to be willing to let people go who aren't a good fit. This isn't desperation. If you are needy, I have to work with you, no, I'm not sure I want to work with you, no, no, no, you must work with me, that's creepy, guys, right? That, like, drives people away from you. How many women in here know that needy is creepy?

Raise your hand, okay, needy is creepy. It is not attractive, it's not attractive in dating, and it is not attractive in a business. You don't have to work with anybody, and there's lots of people out there who are awesome that want to come in and be a part of what you're doing. Okay, huge round of applause, let's round up the segment, here we go.