Becoming a Resilient Leader – 3 Factors And Action Steps
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Become A Resilient Leader
Being resilient is truly a ‘must have’ characteristic for leadership as well as in anything you do in life.
When I’m passing by a dry patch of ground, yet I see a flower bloom and it’s standing all alone, I think of resiliency. Being able to grow and flourish and bloom and be a thing of beauty in the face of hard circumstances is what it’s all about.
One of the greatest joys and privileges in my life has been that of a foster parent. I’ve cared for many foster children over a 14 year period and still do respite. Here’s what I’ve noticed.
While all of the children had extreme circumstances in their lives through being emotionally or physically abused, neglected, abandoned, passed from one home to the other, not knowing who they are, what they did wrong (which was NOTHING… it’s their parents who failed them!), not knowing where they belong and why they were born….
… it was easy to spot the resilient ones. Those children bounced back and were happy regardless of their circumstances and as a result, they achieved more in their life. The not so resilient ones needed more counseling, more self-esteem building, more help, more reassurance of their awesomeness.
Resiliency In business….
I see many wonderful determined and committed men and women set out to start their home based business, yet shortly thereafter, they find themselves so discouraged, so frustrated, so overwhelmed that they shut down. Oh, they may go back at it a few times… but in the end, they quit.
…
Resilient Leaders Audio Training I did – CLICK TO LISTEN.
The quitters had little or no resilience for what’s required in business.
Resilient Leader Characteristics
1) Resilient leaders work to understand what is happening because of the challenges, including how they may have contributed to the problem. They are not afraid to take responsibility and dig deep for their part of the problem and find solutions.
2) They are positive, believing good things can happen regardless of their circumstances.
3) They are solid in their core personal and organizational values, staying focused on what’s important rather than allowing challenges to knock them off course.
4) They are persistent in tough times. They recover quickly from setbacks and celebrate small victories along the way.
5) They invest their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy wisely, knowing when and how to build their business during recovery so their energy isn’t drained.
6) They act on the courage of their convictions. They take decisive action when challenges arise. Their courage largely comes from being clear about what matters most and what they envision for your life… their goals… their dreams.
Let’s Talk About What Resilience Is
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks.
They thrive and grow in the face of adversity, challenges and change.
And because you have chosen to show up in your business… get to events, get on calls, figure out marketing, handing objections…
… in a sentence you are intentionally engaging in the habits of success…
…guess what? You can almost guarantee you’ll be challenged! That’s life!
If you understand that challenges are going to come.. and they will come in all shapes and sizes and most often with you least expect them…
… and you’re prepared for them….
.. you will experience the most success on your path.
When they happen you can say…
Oh, these are on of life’s challenges and I’m prepared to pass the test! I can do this and will be stronger for it!”
Resilience can only be tested in the face of challenges.
The woman who never accepts a challenge never knows how resilient she is! Amen? You’ve got to go through some stuff!
As you build your level of resilience, you will find yourself able to handle more and do so with more grace, peace and effectiveness.
This was my journey to becoming stronger. I said to myself…
“this stuff can make me bitter and weaker or stronger and more grateful.”
I chose the later.
Resilience empowers you to be effective and efficient to move through challenges and change, and not only to survive, but to thrive in the face of whatever life throws your way.
My Test Of Resiliency
I’d like to share with you a few things that I have gone through that allowed me to build my resiliency to a state of ‘strong’ and give you some action steps to help you along your life’s journey.
If you’ve read my story, you know that I’ve had my ups and downs in life, yet I’ve come out the other end a victor. And I realize looking back, it wasn’t until I went through the fire that I realized where I was weak and what I needed to do to become more resilient for the win.
In summary, I’ve been through some stuff, both in life and in business…
- a divorce after 30 years of marriage
- foreclosure on several homes
- bankruptcy
- mom’s 2 heart attacks and strokes
- brothers stroke and blindness
- transmission blow out
- tooth and bone transplant which effected my smile and making videos
- my lead flow for business shut down by youtube
- major relocation
- empty nest
- and much, much more.. in fact I fell into a severe depression
… all while trying to be “present” in my business.
Have you heard your boss say,
“Leave your problems at the door when you come to work so you can be fully present on your job?”
Well, sometimes that’s easier said than done but with practice and awareness, you can do it!
But when you’re the boss of your own enterprise and your livelihood is contingent on your ability to be at the helm of a smooth running ship, you have got to be able to step up, show up and be fully present in your business regardless of what’s happening in your life.
For me, as the above series of events unfolded all with a super short period of time… month after month after month, at the end of that year, my resiliency was tested to the max and I discovered a couple things about myself…
1) I was resilient to a degree and became aware that I needed assistance in building up more if I was going to cope and come out the other end a victor.
2) I was stronger than I thought.
3) I became way more resilient by having gone through the ‘tests’.
It’s in times like these that we are allowed to see what we’re made of, what improvements we can make and how to become more prepared to handle what life throws at us.
Some of the stress factors to test your resiliency in your home based business may be things like:
>> Not being able to figure out something on your computer (techie stuff)
>> Having concrete plans to work in your business at a specific time but then something comes up that MUST be taken care of.
>> Bringing in a handful of new business partners but none of them do anything and you’re really discouraged.
>> Showing up in your business even when your life is falling apart… the bills are due, collection agency is pounding your phone, your car is broke down, everyone in the family is wanting your attention, your boss won’t give you the day off to take your mom to the doctor… just stuff.
>> You’re YouTube account gets suspended because Google is just mean and hates home business videos.
>> Just trying to fit everything in that we have to get done to have a chance in building our business and having the life we deserve and want.
You get the drill…
How are you going to handle all this?
You Must Become Resilient!
Three Key’s for Resilient Empowerment
There are three foundational ingredients for resilience. The first you cannot change, but the other two you have full control over. And when you understand the first, and work on the the second and third, you’ll still come though the other end a stronger, more resilient entrepreneur.
One: Genetics.
You were born with a degree of resilience. Have you ever noticed that some kids just bounce back better than others to the same experiences and disappointments? Depending on how you were wired at birth can have a impact to a degree in how you handle stress. And it will take a stressor to test your resilience.
Two: Support System.
We all need people surrounding us in our lives to help us get through. And isn’t that what life’s about? Yet is critical as it pertains to resilience. This support system is made up of several components.. for example, your spiritual and emotional fortitude, your preparedness, finances, access to people and help and of course opportunities. Anything within your personal sphere of influence that can help you overcome challenges is going to be key.
You cannot succeed without strong relationships to support you. When you have a battle to fight, you don’t want to be the lone soldier on the battlefield. You need others.
Three: Your Thinking
Your thoughts determine your emotions. What goes on in your thought process when you are faced with challenges? Do you immediately go to the doom and gloom drama? Or are you grateful for the challenge because you know there’s going to be something great on the other side of the fence?
Thoughts lead to reactions, what you feel, what you say and what you do. If you intentionally change what you say to yourself at the situation you’re in, you will change your reactions. If you find yourself thinking counter productive thoughts, change those thoughts to something more productive. You have the power to do this.
Here’s a few examples of how you can reverse negative thinking and replace it with powerful positive statements.
Negative: My life and career are over. I might as well give up and accept that I’m a failure.”
Positive: “I made some mistakes. I am going to learn from those mistakes so I don’t repeat them in the future.”
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Negative: “This is so embarrassing. I look like a goof to have ended up in this situation. I can’t ask anyone for help because I don’t want people to know the crazy situation we’re in.”
Positive: “I choose to believe all things for together for good. I am determined to come out of this situation stronger and wiser and be in a position to help others who are going through this same thing and be an inspiration to them.”
Action Steps For Living A Resilient Life
Through both my experiences, the outside help I received from my support team and personal development books I devoured, here are some action steps that you can take to create a more resilient life which carries over into your business.
Looking back, I can see clearly how if I had decided to just give up… to give in… and not fight the good fight for what I know I deserved in life, I would not be where I am today.
When the chips are down you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is the life you want to have and accept for the rest of your days… or do you want more for yourself. Because you deserve it. You deserve the best life and I believe you were created to be a blessing to others. We were not put here on this earth to be poor, poor minded and live a victim life.
But the decision is yours.
So as you go through stuff in life… stuff you’d much rather not but you’ve been dealt the cards, being aware of how you’re reacting and thinking is the first step to making a decision which way you want to go. It’s up to. I hope you’ll always choose life and build your resilient muscle.
1) Get clear about your purpose.
You must be clear about your purpose and vision because that’s what will keep you on track. Even though you go through challenging times, you know it’s all temporary and you you have look past it to what you DO want.
Know where you’re going… Know what you want…
Believe you’ll get there….
Be ON that road to your destiny, you’re greatness, your dreams.
A weak vision doesn’t inspire. When times are tough, a weak vision does not compel you to keep going. It usually becomes the reason you people quit.
Success is never a straight line, although we like to believe that when we set out to build our business. We get clear about our purpose and vision, we’re all excited about what our future holds and the BAM! Something happens. Dang! That sure didn’t go like we planned! Rather than saying “I am a failure”… try “I failed this time.”
So get clear on your purpose and vision and in fact… a vision board will be a good visual that you keep in front of you to remind you as life comes at you.
2) Plug into your support group
Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be. Most of these people, if not all, have been through challenges because nobody gets a free ride. The people at the top with success went through some stuff to get there and are resilient individuals. Let them be an inspiration and mentor to you.
If you’re going through especially hard times and you feel that you need outside counseling for coping skills and processing your circumstances, then do it. No need to be ashamed. Sometimes processing with someone who is professional in dealing with your specific challenges can help you put things in perspective and offer suggestions and ideas for healing or processing so you can move on.
Make sure have nurturing relationships in your life. Stay in close contact with your family and friends and those who love and support you emotionally. If you have an opportunity to work within a team of business partners that’s nurturing, do that too. It’s not a place to dump your problems… but a place where people can believe in you, inspire you, encourage you and remind you of your why.
3) Stay in personal development.
Read and listen to audio everyday. These should be intakes and downloads into your mind that fill you with inspiration, motivation, insight, hope, spirituality, and such. You have no room or energy for negativity so allow yourself to be bathed in ‘live giving’ information.
When you are building your resiliency, there will be leaky holes in your boat. So you’ve got to fill up with the answers and solutions to thinking differently and having a positive “can do” and solution oriented spirit. This is the way to fix those holes.
With programs like Empower Network, you have all that. Weekly conference calls, inner circle audios, leadership programs, and a community that lifts people up. It’s very inspiring because everyone has a story.. there’s pain and struggle in everyone’s life yet they have come through to share their experiences and inspire others.
4) Be prepared and expect disruptive changes.
In business and online marketing, this is especially true. As an online marketer, I know for fact that nothing stays the same. It can be frustrating because there are cycles of constant learning and disappointment.
For example…
There was a learning curve on how to place ads on Google. But people took the time and learned it and then BAM! Google slapped any marketer for a home based business.
There is a learning curve to video marketing. You can take the time to learn how to be a video marketer and then BAM! Instantly… without notice or warning and often without cause, your YouTube channel can be suspended.
There is a learning curve to Facebook marketing. You can take the time to learn how to be a Facebook marketer and then BAM! Instantly… without notice or warning and often without cause, your Facebook page can be banned.
You can be involved in a company and have a great team, you have a great income and all of a sudden, without warning (or even if there was)… BAM! They decide to close the doors or change the pay plan and now it’s completely disrupted and dismantled your business and income.
Business is a living… moving…thing. And it’s constantly changing. So you have to come to the table understanding that all things are subject to change in business.
So have a plan for this. Think about how you will handle situations so when/if they occur, you know how to immediately move into solution mode.
Tell yourself, it’s ok. This is an opportunity to do something better. This is a learning experience that will make me a stronger marketer and entrepreneur.
5) Be Aware of Your Emotions and Reactions
Become an expert on you. Be aware of your thoughts, your reactions, your drama, your words and at every instant ask yourself if how you’re thinking, acting and speaking is empowering or destructive.
Then make a decision to react accordingly. it’s a choice and it takes practice. It takes being aware and catching yourself, deciding on what you want your life to be and then acting on that.
I remember a day that my business seemed so hard, nothing was working, month after month after month and I broke down in tears. Just had me a good cry and good ole’ pitty party. I walked into the bathroom, looked into the mirror and had a conversation with myself (my entrepreneur self) and said,
“Girl… nobody is making you do this. If it’s too much, go get a job. Otherwise, pull your big girl panties up, blow your nose, whip your face and act like an entrepreneur. What’s it gonna be?”
I choose freedom. I washed my face with cool rag, went for a walk and during that walk I built up my resilience muscle. I was visualizing what I wanted in life. And whatever I had to do to figure out how to make money with my business was going to be easier than setting my alarm and entering into work slavery.
Focus on what you do want.
Focus on solutions.
If you catch yourself dwelling on the problem, kick yourself and SWITCH your thoughts and actions into solution mode. Stay in solution mode. Speak life into the solution.
Reframe your troubles into something exciting.
If we can handle the small things… God will bless us with bigger things. And when we react responsibility with the bigger things, He’ll give us bigger things yet. So look at your challenges, your failures, your struggles, your obstacles as tests….
… and pass the test! Because on the other side of that test are more opportunities to rise to the top. Be excited about that. You’ve gotta love the journey.
Summary – Live A Resilient Life
1) Observe how you respond to life’s stressors. This is your ‘how resilient am I test”.
2) Decide if you like what you see as you observe your emotions and reactions.
3) Make any adjustments through awareness and following these action steps.
You deserve to have your best life…. become resilient and watch how fast things will move in the direction of your dreams.
Leave me a comment and share more about the subject of being resilient! Share your experiences and stories to help others! Thanks!