Kasey’s Journey of Healing

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Kasey’s Journey of Healing Begins

Kasey stood at the back of the ship watching as the ship pulled out of port; Miami was becoming a dot on the horizon. She was thankful to be getting away from everything she knew. Kasey had booked this cruise just a few months after her husband’s death. He had been battling cancer for the last couple of years and it had taken its toll on her. She needed to get away and rejuvenate, contemplate what she was going to do with her life now that Steven was gone. Even though Steven had provided very well for here, she knew that she couldn’t sit around and do nothing for the rest of her life. She had loved Steven with all her heart and right now she felt exhausted, lonely and anxious about what the future held. She knew that taking this cruise was something that she needed to do for herself. Family and friends had been supportive, almost to the point of smothering her, yes; taking this cruise was a healthy choice for her.

Kasey had booked the early seating for dinner, but that still gave her a few hours to either explore the ship or lay in the sun, she opted for the latter. She knew that her luggage would be delivered to her cabin sometime this evening, so she had worn a swim suit under her sundress. She looked around, spotted a lounge chair and made her way over to it. She pulled her towel out of her carry-on bag, placed it over the chair and sat down. She grabbed her sunscreen from her bag and began rubbing it on her skin. Even though she had downloaded several books to her kindle she decided she was just going to lay back, enjoy the ocean breeze and relax. As soon as Kasey closed her eyes the memories of Steven began to invade her thoughts. She remembered the life they had shared, the love and the children they would never have. Kasey thought about the first time she had seen Steven, she had gone into Shay’s Deli for a bagel and coffee, he was in line ahead of her and when she reached the cashier she was told her order had been paid for. She enquired by whom and the cashier pointed out Steven. Kasey walked over to thank him and was invited to join him. She graciously accepted, sat down and they began talking. They talked for hours and Steven had invited her out to dinner, that was eight years ago. She had gone from living at home with her parents, to marrying Steven and now for the first time in her life she was on her own. She had no idea how she was going to do this, it just wasn’t fair. They had so many plans for their lives and now that would never happen. She opened her eyes and told herself she could not spend this entire cruise going over everything she had lost, this was a time for her to find a way to keep living.

She checked the time and decided to head to her cabin. Kasey grabbed her belonging and headed to the elevator, when the elevator stopped she stepped out and headed to her cabin. Kasey was pleased to see her luggage had already been delivered. Kasey opened the door and was greeted with a beautiful view of the ocean; she had decided on a balcony cabin and she knew this had been the right choice.  She walked over and opened the doors and stood out on the balcony and just let the tears run down her cheeks, thinking that this should have been a cruise her and Steven had taken together. Kasey turned stomped back into the cabin and began unpacking. She showered, dressed for dinner and headed to the dining room.

She was seated at a table for eight and for that she was thankful. She would be having dinner with seven total strangers that knew nothing about the last two years of her life, they wouldn’t be feeling sorry for her or trying to make her feel better. At dinner she could have polite conversation and not have to think or talk about Steven. Before the cruise Kasey had taken off her wedding rings so that she didn’t have to answer a lot of questions. As the other guests began to arrive they exchange pleasantries. The servers began to come around taking drink orders, Kasey decided it was time for a Mojito. When their main server came to the table he introduced himself as Jacque and began taking their orders, although Kasey wasn’t really hungry, she knew she needed to eat, especially if she was going to continue to drink. The conversation around the table was superficial and that was fine with her, nothing too personal. After dinner Kasey decided that she would go see the show, there was a comedian playing tonight and a good laugh was something she could definitely use.

After the show Kasey went back to her cabin, readied herself for bed and grabbed her kindle to try reading until she fell asleep. Kasey woke about four in the morning with the kindle lying on her chest; she couldn’t believe she had fallen asleep. She was thankful for the rest. She called room service and ordered coffee. When the coffee was delivered she grabbed a blanket off the bed, wrapped up in it and opens the doors to the balcony, stepped outside enjoying the view of the ocean in the moonlight. Kasey sat sipping her coffee watching the sunrise and thinking of Steven. The tears slid silently down her cheeks.

Around six she decided to go to the gym and take the yoga class. Upon returning to her cabin she changed into her swimsuit, put on a sundress and grabs her bag to head off to the sundeck at the back of the ship. Kasey spent the better part of the day lying in the sun, reading and having a couple of their drink special. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it was made with rum and fruit juices, it was delicious. Kasey spoke with a few people throughout the day but for the most part she was left alone and for that she was grateful. Kasey needed today to just get her bearings. Deciding she had been in the sun long enough she made her way to the casino on the fifth level and spent a couple of hours playing the slot machines, where she won fifty dollars. Going back to her cabin she dressed for dinner, since tonight was a formal dinner she chose a short black cocktail dress with diamond earrings and necklace that Steven had given her on their fourth anniversary. Thinking about that evening brought a smile to her face. Steven had brought her roses, taken her to her favorite restaurant and when dessert was served Kasey looked down as the waiter removed the covering from her dessert plate and their instead of the cannoli’s  she was expecting, lay the earrings and necklace. Steven had been such a romantic, she was really going to mess having that in her life. Kasey checked her appearance in the mirror, satisfied with her reflection, she headed to dinner.

Other guests had already arrived at the table and were engaged in conversation when she sat down, a young couple was seated on her left and another single lady was on her right. Kasey smiled at everyone and the young couple asked if she was enjoying the cruise, she responded that she was and they began to talk about the different ports of call and what they were looking forward to exploring. By the end of dinner the young couple Jim and Diana had invited her to join them when they docked in St. Thomas, Kasey accepted their invitation and turned to Jennifer who was on her right and asked if she would like to join them also, Jennifer accepted and they all began making plans for some shopping, going over to St. John’s Bay to do some snorkeling and then they would pick somewhere to eat along the way. They still had another day on the ship so they decided to finalize their plans the following evening at dinner.

The ship pulled into port at 9 am and the small group met by the elevators and headed to disembark to begin their day of adventure. First order of business was to grab a cab and head over to take the ferry to St. John’s Bay. When they arrived in St. John’s they grabbed a taxi and headed to the bay, rented their snorkeling gear and began snorkeling. When they returned to the beach after a couple of hours, their conversation was full of animation with them all talking at once. They were excited about everything they had seen. The color were so vibrant and the water so clear. Each of them began showing the treasures they had brought back with them, mementos of their adventure. All along the beach locals were selling their wares of hand crafted jewel, woven baskets, scarves. Small restaurants were scattered along the beach each offering local fare. Their servers walked along the beach pedaling their drink specials and they decided to try one. Knowing the ship was pulling out of port at five pm, they decided to make their way back, stopping to shop and before they headed back to St Thomas they decided to eat at a restaurant they saw when they got off the ferry. When they arrived at the Spyglass restaurant, they each ordered something different and shared with each other. Kasey ordered a Tuna wrap which turned out to be the best she’d had ever put into her mouth.

Arriving back to the ship they parted ways and Kasey returned to her cabin to prepare for dinner, although she wasn’t really hungry the idea of being around other people was appealing to her. Steven still crept into her thoughts throughout the day, being with others was making the sting of his death less severe. The conversation around the dining room table that night was full of all they had experienced in St. Thomas/St John’s Bay. Kasey could feel herself beginning to relax. Tomorrow was another day at sea, so she turned to Jennifer and invited her to meet on the swim deck the next morning. Jennifer said she would be there.

Kasey and Jennifer spent the day together, basking in the sun, drinking Bloody Mary’s, taking walks and talking about their lives. Kasey shared with Jennifer that she was a widow and went on to share the entire story. Surprisingly, Kasey felt much better after sharing her story with someone who hadn’t been a part of the experience. Jennifer shared with her that she had just gone through a very nasty divorce; she needed to get away and to gain a new perspective on her life. After talking the realized that they only lived about thirty minutes from each other, so they made plans to meet for lunch after they arrived back home. A new friendship was blossoming. They both knew they would spend the remainder of the cruise together, exploring new places and discussing what life held for them.

As the cruise continued the girls filled their days with exploring new islands and sharing intimate details of their lives. They began discussing what they were going to do once they got back home. Kasey hadn’t worked in two years so she was going to have to go back into the job market. Jennifer hadn’t worked for the last few years either and the thought of going to work for someone else held no appeal for her. Kasey had a Marketing degree while Jennifer had a degree in fashion. The girls began to discuss what options they had and not liking any of the prospects, Kasey asked Jennifer is she had ever considered owning her own business. Jennifer smiled and said, “I often dream about owning a small boutique, where I carrying some of my own designs and a few specialty items from other local designers.” Kasey asked Jennifer, “Would you be interested in becoming business partners?” Jennifer responded, “absolutely.” Kasey went on to share that she knew some local jewelry designers that did some amazing custom work. The girls talked about going to market and the types of items they would look for. They discussed they type of specialty services they could offer, like allowing their patrons the option of bringing in their outfits and try the accessories on in the boutique.  Through the course of their conversations they decided that this was an option that they wanted to explore further. They continued talking about how the shop would be laid out, the colors they would use and of course the items they would carry.

Over the next few days the girls continued to discuss choosing an attorney to draw up all the necessary contracts, who they would enlist to help write up the business plan and a variety of other issues. One evening they were sitting in one of the clubs on board the ship talking about expenses, how much each of them could contribute when they both suddenly stopped talking and began laughing, knowing that  each of them had already made their decision to go into business together. Now to choose a name for the boutique, after bouncing around several ideas they settled on: KaJe’s Boutique. This was a combination of their initials.

As the cruise was coming to an end Kasey began to realize that the pain of losing Steven had lessened and she could see possibilities for a future. She knew that coming on this cruise had been the right choice. She was healing, it felt good and she had made a great new friend whom it seemed she would be in business with in the very near future. She was excited to get home and share with her family and friends all that had transpired while she was away. Although she knew she would miss Steven and she would still morn his loss at times, it felt good to know that she was now able to put a foot forward and go on with her life.