What is responsibility while living at home?
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
What is responsibility while living at home? I am talking about that of the older child that is living at home, after college. It seems that most parents are allowing their children to move back home after graduation. I happen to be one of those parents. The problem lies with the parent having a tendency to take on their old habits or work load, before their children got older. I have a tendency to take the laundry from my son’s room and wash, dry it, and fold it. I return it to my son’s room; but I never put it away. I make the dinner meals, and do most of the clean up!
I did have a conversation with my son; I do not charge him rent; however, he is supposed to save his money. The other thing we discussed was that he was to help around the household. His father has progressive multiple sclerosis and needs total care; so I could use everyday help around the home. My son has been home for three months; he has employment; and he does save his money. He needs to step up his game when it comes to helping around the house! I plan to have a conversation about his responsibility soon.
If my son did not save his money, then, I would charge him rent; however, I may charge him for the services he does not do around the home. I plan to have a monthly discussion to see how our agreement is working out, and if he is keeping on track with it.
Financial advisors recommend that you prepare your child for a relaunch, instead of giving him/her an extended vacation from the real world. They recommend that parents charge rent based on their child’s income. If you need it to help pay the bills, then pay the bills. If you don’t need the money, put it to the side and give it to your child when they are ready to leave. Another option is to put that money towards his college loan. Having your child pay rent, helps him to budget, be more responsible and more successful to eventually live on their own.
Another recommendation, is to agree upon a time limit to your child’s living at home. When the time is up, you can always reevaluate the agreement, and if your child needs more time to save up money, than that is up to you. A time frame can keep your child focused on his responsibility to leave the nest.
Do not let your child get too comfortable. Clear expectations need to be set regarding behavior, contributions to the household, and the ability to let you know their whereabouts and activities, is sending the message that this is not a free ride. Remember they are coming home with a purpose, not to collapse and be taken care of. I am going to set up a monthly meeting to discuss about the expectations to my son’s stay. I will call it our monthly tune up. Is my son saving his money? Is he meeting his responsibility to the household? Is he respectful about letting us know where he is at, or if he won’t be coming home for the night?
Overall, a parent needs to be respectful towards their older child. Let them know, you are available for discussion, if they need help with a problem. It is the mutual agreement by the parent and the child about what is responsibility while living at home.
MAKE THIS RESPONSIBLE DECISION!