Are You Listening?

Are you listening, or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?-Robert Montgomery

Well, are you?

We live in a fast-paced world. Everything hurries by us and our connections made are quick and sometimes meaningless. This is not always our intention, but a lot of the time this is the result regardless. How many conversations do you have with others in a single day? How many conversations do you truly give the other person the floor to speak with your undivided attention? How many conversations do you truly listen?

The majority of people spend their time at work and commuting to and from work. While at work, most conversations are related to just that…work. When you have the time to talk to a co-worker, friend or relative about topics unrelated to work, how deep and meaningful are they? Do you listen with the intent of learning from them, or do you anxiously wait for your turn to talk and tell your story?

Listening and hearing are two different things. Listening is retaining the information that the other person is giving to you. Hearing is when you let the words go in one ear and out the other. When you truly listen, you silence your inner dialogue of what words you want to say next, and focus on what the person you are conversing with is saying instead.

When you are actively brain storming for a point you want to argue, or a story you have that is similar to what the other person is sharing it takes all of the meaning  of the conversation away.

If you really believe someone isn’t listening, it’s unlikely that it will help to say that to them. When you call someone out on not listening, they will most likely say that they were and then an argument could ensue. When you are close to someone, such as your significant other, you may be able to call them out on the lack of attention they are giving  you with a better result.

We all love to share our stories with the ones we are close to and we also love to listen to them share theirs! The key to a balanced conversation and relationship with these people is to listen to them while they speak. We have all encountered the person that looks as if their head might explode if they don’t get to talk ASAP. You can tell they are not listening to a word you are saying, rather going over and over what they will say in their head. How does this make you feel? I know how it makes me feel! Not appreciated and sometimes frustrated.

It is very important to remember how this makes you feel to ensure you are not the person whose head might explode! When you consider how your reaction to the person speaking is making them feel, you will choose to do the right thing…listen.

You can apply the practice of listening to everyone in your life. Maybe you will choose to put your phone down when someone is talking. Maybe you will choose to pay more attention to your children when they are telling you a story about their day. Maybe you will even choose to listen more intently when you have a conversation with a stranger.

Are you listening?

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