How I Cured My Depression

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Are you depressed? Are you sure? How would you know if you are depressed if being depressed is who you are? Chances are you have been depressed for your entire life and you just didn’t know it.

This is what I experienced:

I discovered that my depression has been a problem ever since I was little. At the time, I didn’t realize that I was depressed. I always thought that depression would be a noticeably different state than the state I was in. But, the truth of the matter was that the state I was in was my depression.

Nobody wants to be depressed. Who wants to identify with the state that they are in when they don’t like the state they are in? I certainly didn’t identify with being depressed. To accept that I was depressed would mean that I had lost the war; my depression had won.

This is a huge mental conflict that is self-perpetuating. The more I didn’t acknowledge the depressed state I was in, the further I tried to separate myself from the truth; my depression. Can you see how I was just running away from the solution? The solution to my depression would mean the end of my problems …and the end of my problems would mean the end of my excuses to continue walking around as a victim.

My depression was actually quite severe, in my eyes. I didn’t have any motivation to do anything with myself. I didn’t want to go outside or meet people. I didn’t enjoy life. Sometimes I wanted to just disappear from the world so that I wouldn’t have to keep running away from it. My depression was so bad that my life as I knew it was not worth living.

I spent many years sitting in front of a TV or a computer screen playing video games in an unconscious effort to escape my depression. No matter how many hours I put in, no matter how extreme, entertaining, or mentally stimulating the games were, at the end of the day, I still felt my depression. It felt like this hole inside of me that could never be fulfilled. I never wanted to actually acknowledge there was a hole inside of me, but of course, there it was.

My Depression And How It Came To Be

I grew up in Los Angeles. I went to school and did my homework …for a while. After a few years of schooling, I started to gain a lot of weight. I would get endlessly teased by all the kids in my class. This was in 4th and 5th grade. If you remember grammar school, you probably remember that you were stuck in the same class with the same people all day long. This could either be a blessing or a curse, depending on who is in your class and who your teacher was.

As I child, I was very intelligent and talented, but also very sensitive and emotional. If you know any children, you know that many of them take what you say to heart. You need to be very careful what you say around kids. Children are very sincere people before they get corrupted and depressed.

I am sure that it was these two years in grammar school plus 6th and 7th grade in middle school (which were equally bad, if not worse) that brought be down into my depression. After 5th grade, I started to fail. I gained a lot of weight, lost interest in life, and started to play video games more than ever. I started to fail all my classes. In 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th grade, I managed to get 6 F’s per semester. I COMPLETELY lost interest in my life.

My Depression Lessened Slightly

I now know that it was the on-going emotional turmoil that I was in from being teased that created a new state of being in my life: my depression.

My depression lasted all throughout high school, but I started to change things a little bit. I lost weight (80 pounds) from 10th-12th grade, my grades turned around, and I took an interest in art. I learned how to play piano and draw while I was in school. But at the core of my emotional state, I was still heavily rooted in fear and escapism. I would play video games for 6-8 hours per day on school days and 10-14 hours per day on weekends.

After I left high school, my habits didn’t change much. I was a gamer at heart. I didn’t know what to do about my depression. I could feel that it was there but didn’t want to look at it. Once you are in a certain state its hard to change, even if you want to.

So life went on… 1.. 2… 3 years later, I wound up moving out of Los Angeles and living on a private ranch on the California Central Coast. I learned how to take care of horses and other animals. I learned a lot of functional and highly useful skills! I became a bit more spiritual at this time. I also became a vegan and was into raw foods.

But STILL, something just “wasn’t right” in my life. Every time I made an effort to change something about my life, I would always end up back at square one. Three or four days later, I was wondering, “what happened..?” This usually just added to my depression.

Understanding My Depression

The fundamental pieces that I was missing in my efforts to overcome my depression were some very simple concepts. The trouble is, nobody ever explained them to me, I had to figure them out by trial and error.

1. My first fundamental error in understanding my depression was that I had assumed that I was in control of my life. I clearly wasn’t. I couldn’t even stick to my own plans for one week! I thought that I just lacked willpower or motivation.

2. My second fundamental error in understanding my depression was thinking that my depression was something I could just “think my way out of.” I didn’t yet realize that my depression was caused by how I was thinking.

3. My third fundamental error in understanding my depression was believing that happiness or depression were both external influences. I believed that they were things that happened to me, rather than things that I created for myself.

Thus, I was always seeking happiness in the external world. I never realized that true happiness comes from an internal satisfaction. It comes from letting go of the seriousness of the external world. It comes from realizing that you are the universe and you are inseparable from all life and all things.

Of course, all of this sounds great, but how do you actually change who you are? How do you ‘undo’ years worth of mental conditioning?

Here’s the truth. If you don’t understand how your mind works, You can’t change much of anything.

Let me explain why this is true. This is your mind:

As you can see in the image above, 95% of your power as a human being is controlled directly by your subconscious mind. If your subconscious mind is not in alignment with your conscious mind, this is called being ‘two-minded’. This means that no matter how hard you try to do something consciously, it will never happen because your subconscious mind is not on board with your conscious efforts.

Think of how hard it would be to move this massive iceberg when you only have control over the top 5% of it? How about trying to take on 19 guys by yourself? Sound impossible? Well that is exactly what it’s like to try to move 95% of your mind with only 5% of your power. It’s like trying to swim up Niagara Falls with your hands tied.

Interestingly enough, this is exactly what people are trying to do and this is exactly why they keep failing to change every single time.

What I wanted was to become one-minded in my desired traits and aspirations. I wanted to be one-minded for success, happiness, and well-being, rather than be one-minded for depression, unhealthiness, and failure. I wanted it to be effortless to think like a champion and a real pain in the ass to think like a loser.

I came to learn that this was all 100% possible, and even easy, with subconscious sleep audio technology.

My Depression And My New Life

My depression was definitely coming from my mind, but it wasn’t coming from my conscious mind. My depression was the result of years of emotional programming and beliefs that had taken hold in my subconscious mind.

I learned that in order to ‘change my mind‘, I had to reprogram my subconscious mind. I set my sights high and long. I didn’t just want to not be depressed; to be normal and average …I wanted to be extraordinary! I wanted to have a fantastic and wonderful life that I will feel honored to have experienced.

So, I educated myself a bit about how the mind works. After coming to understand that the most effective way to influence and change my subconscious mind was through nightly sleep audio, I set to work. Having still been in my depression when I started, I only committed to doing the subconscious sleep audio for one week, as I didn’t expect to stick to it for longer than 3 or 4 days.

But what happened next still amazes me to this day. By the next morning, which was a sleepless one, I felt different …”some how”. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted. It was now much easier to think about the things that I wanted in life and much harder to think about the things I didn’t want. My depression seemed almost as if it had gone in an instant.

And to be honest, it did! My life has changed forever. From that day forward, my life has been in an upward spiral. I went from spending my time escaping my depression to spending my time enjoying my life. I went from taking hesitant steps in life to taking bold, powerful, and excited steps towards my goals and my dreams.

So, my little one-week commitment to listen to sleep audio has now evolved into a life-long commitment. I have been doing it for over a month and I don’t want to stop. What a huge shift in my life!

I have done more in the last month for my success in life than I have in all my prior 21 years of being here. This technology is incredibly powerful.

You can do this for yourself. It’s really not that hard. I give more detailed instructions on how I did it in my article, The Truth About Success.

My Depression: In Conclusion

My depression is a thing of the past. The sooner you can understand how your mind works and implement some form of a subconscious reprogramming effort in your life, the sooner you can start living the life you want to live.

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