Dealing With Failure

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Most of us know that failure is inevitable, yet when it happens we still act like the end of the world is upon us and have no idea how to deal with it.

I have done this, only to realise that later on my perceived “failure” was more like a blessing in disguise or had some kind of irrefutable lesson that would change the course of my life.

Failure comes in all shapes and sizes. Failure can look like applying for jobs and facing constant rejection. Putting effort into a paper and receiving a poor grade. Cooking a delicious meal and leaving it in the oven for too long. Dieting or exercising and still unable to lose that extra weight. Failure can look like a whole lot of different things for a whole lot of different people.

Have you ever gotten a bad hair cut and thought it was the end of the world? Failed a test and thought your academic career was over? Missed a promotion or kept being rejected by employers and felt that you’d be broke forever or never advance in your career?

One could say that none of these things are really the end of the world, and many of them can be easily overcome with focus, persistence, and determination. Yet in that moment, we just can’t help our reactions. It just SEEMS like the end of the world. What’s the point of TRYING so hard if we won’t succeed? Doesn’t it just feel like a helpless cause sometimes??

I have faced these types of “failures” many times and I must admit each of these little perceived “failures” got me pretty down in the dumps for days on end. In that time I was able to figure out some really amazing tools that helped me get out of the dumps and take some real life-changing action as a result.

TOOLS FOR DEALING WITH FAILURE

Community. This is probably the most important thing in the world. You need to be surrounded by good uplifting people and communities around you. We often like to associate with people who are failing worse than us because it somehow makes us feel better about ourselves… our ego’s get a payoff out of having people that we can complain to and will understand our “pains”… but this is probably the WORST thing we can do for ourselves! We need to be surrounded by positive uplifting people who will listen to us and support us but also encourage us to get over it and KEEP GOING for our dreams! We need people that will get us OUT of the habit of making excuses and complaining all the time. Excuses and complaints only cause more of what we don’t want – failure.

Physical Activity. If you read my first post about getting our of your comfort zone, you’ll remember that I listed being active as an amazing tool for motivation and comfort-zone-breaking. Physical activity is also a great tool to use when dealing with failure as pushing your body can help release some of that negative energy. To take it a step further, physical activity outdoors is even more powerful because of it’s connection with the next tool I’m going to mention.

Nature.  Nature is incredibly healing. One of my favourite things to do when I’m feeling like life is a little bleak is to head to the beach and take in the calming sights and sounds of the ocean. Not all of us have the luxury of being close to a beach or being in the appropriate weather for it, but most of us are close enough to walking trails or parks that we can enjoy on weekends.

For daily doses of nature I go for short walks and have become obsessed with collecting plants around my apartment. I am out on my balcony every day caring for my pot plant garden, and in the winter I collect indoor plants such as Cacti. Just looking at a plant makes me feel better.

Music. Music is probably the most powerful healing source for me personally. I have a variety of music that I play off of my iPhone – everything from dance music to get me feeling energised and motivated to alternative rock and baroque classical music. Sometimes when I’m  feeling sad I listen to melancholic music and cry my eyes out. This is actually really powerful because crying releases so much pent up negative energy and you always feel better afterwards.

Books & Audios. Uplifting books and audios in the areas of self development and personal growth are amazing tools to have at your finger tips. Currently on my book list are empowering books such as “Ask and it is Given”, “A Course in Miracles”, and many others. Like wise there are many great audio’s out there that are super empowering and motivational.

Meditation. Going inward is often the best way one can really learn from their failures and balance their emotions. Some of us have voices in our heads that we just can’t seem to silence, which is why I usually follow a guided meditation off of youtube or use music to induce myself into a meditative state. Likewise yoga or martial arts are very powerful tools which essentially mix meditation with exercise.

Gratitude & Prayer. Not all of us are believers in prayer, but no matter what you believe in we can all be grateful for something. Sometimes when we fail we can’t understand why it is happening to us and what we have done to deserve it. Writing a list of what you are grateful for or stating it in a prayer is a great way to remind yourself of all the amazing things you have and raise your internal vibration in the process.

The most important thing for us to remember is that Failure is ONLY a perception and it only exists in our minds.

I once heard a great quote on an audio series called “Your Wish is Your Command” and the quote went something like this:

When asked about creating the lightbulb, Edison was asked how it felt to fail at creating the first lightbulb so many times. Edison responded: “I did not fail, but successfully found one thousand ways it would not work”.

How have you dealt with failure? Comment or share below!