Will You Marry Me … Please Marry Me!
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Could the reason he doesn’t want to marry you be your Fault?
The short answer is:
YES.
You see, no matter how much you plead, “Will you marry me”, he won’t marry you because he doesn’t have to if you’ve made his life too comfortable!
But a gutsy approach might turn him around and he will shout, “Please marry me”. That’s what you want isn’t it, so let’s find out what, why and how.
Many women questioning, “Why won’t he marry me?” have been involved in their relationships for two, three, five years and longer, yet, no ring.
Again, the answer is… He doesn’t have to marry you because you’ve made his life too comfortable WITHOUT COMMITMENT! YES …
It’s YOUR fault.
Remember when you first started dating him. How he’d call, invite you out, bring you flowers; sometimes candy. He was pursuing you and you gladly accepted.
But what happens in today’s world is that when a woman falls in love, she somehow stops letting him pursue, and she becomes the pursuer. She becomes overly eager to please him.
She starts calling him. Inviting him out. Buying him presents. Then often they move in together. She has now become the pursuer and the relationship goes into shutdown mode. Shutdown in the sense that he now becomes very comfortable and stops the pursuit. This is fatal to a relationship if you want him to marry you. Let me explain.
In this comfortable setting the woman now more or less acts like his wife fulfilling his needs. Satisfying his desires. They may share household duties, share a checking account, vacation together, socialize together, care for pets together, share outings even with both sets of parents. In essence they become a ‘family’.
BUT… Without Commitment of Marriage, “Will you marry me” most often falls on Deaf Ears!
The couple relaxes and takes each other for granted since they’ve moved in together. This is a HUGE SNAFU at this point if you want him to marry you. In his mind, he doesn’t have to marry you because, in a sense, (without legal obligation) you’re already married.
Six Steps that Lead Him to Want to Marry You
Stop making life so comfortable for him and let him pursue you until he commits—that’s your best chance for him asking you to marry him.
1. First date(s)
2. Time of Testing
3. Exclusive dating (living together)
4. Verbal intimacy
5. Commitment/sexual intimacy
6. Engagement/Wedding
You see in the steps above, that living comfortably together is step 3. NOTE: There are 3 more steps to go before you reach the marriage step. You’re only half way there.
The danger is that if you at this point let him think he has won you over already, he will stop pursuing. He will stop doing the little romantic things that make him attractive to you. He will shift into passive gear and lose his momentum and the relationship will cease bringing out the best in him.
He runs out of fuel so to speak. He needs the fuel of continuous challenge to win you over if he is to continue thinking of ways to please you, to plan and deliver special dates. By putting forth this effort a man ensures the growth of affection and interest in this relationship.
He also begins to understand that giving of himself in a romantic way is crucial as a way of pleasing you. It prompts him to continue to lead the relationship. And his reward is the pleasure and pride he feels when he succeeds in making you happy.
Don’t Reverse the Roles
If you reverse the roles at this point, he may NEVER pursue you to stage six. You’ve made it too comfortable at stage three! Progressing through the six steps takes about a year. If all goes well, your man will marry you. If not, you’ll still be wailing, “Will You Marry Me—Please Marry Me?”
If you are caught in step 3 and he won’t propose, you’ll have to ease off oh so subtly and begin to make him work for you again (pursue). It will take time, effort and diligence, but, if he loves you ENOUGH, your man will marry you. Learn all the details in the ebook, A Pathway to Successful Marriage
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