It’s Our Responsibility – Part 3
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Your Responsibility … Do you know what you are responsible for?
Some of us do, some of us don’t.
Our Responsibility: To The Society We Live In
For some U.S. Immigrants, there are issues that come into play. First, we have to respect and obey the laws of the land in which we reside. We enter the country legally and bestowed upon us are the same rights and privileges as U.S. citizens, except for the right to vote. We can work here. Legally. With those same privileges come the corresponding responsibilities. To make sure you pay U.S. Taxes, to make sure that all your necessary immigration paperwork is in order, to abide by all rules.
For those of us here in the U.S., or anybody else who is an immigrant of another country, living elsewhere, who battle through overwhelming and sometimes debilitating sense of loneliness from being apart from your country of origin, apart from your family, relatives, friends whom you hold dear in your heart, all that’s left is the settling – you just settle to hear about and welcome news, happy news, about marriages in the family, or new babies, and new additions to the family, accomplishments of the rest of the members of the family. Or illnesses, or hospitalizations, or deaths, whose funerals you can’t even attend to pay your last respects. Because you are too far away.
That’s where technology comes into play. You can email, you can skype, you can go into facebook, you can log in and look at your family member’s pictures. For me personally, it helps in a way, but it doesn’t help in a way. On facebook, at least I could still see what they look like now, and how my baby relatives are growing by looking at pictures or watching videos. But generally, it really makes me sad, because I feel more homesick. I guess in a way, there’s a little bit of pity party that goes on, life goes on for everybody. It’s like I miss them more than they miss me. I feel sad that when I look at pictures of them all happy celebrating parties and sharing moments together, and interacting with each other on FB, actively, that I can’t be there, even if I tried to connect with them. Harsh reality sometimes.
As immigrants, you have to subscribe to the laws here, and when you visit your home country, you also have to subscribe to their laws. Pay taxes, duties, whatever else, so immigrants are hit twice by two different governments.. in terms of what you have to pay in the form of taxes. And when I try to explain this to others from my home country, they think “Well, you’re earning U.S. dollars” (and they convert it into the local currency.. and I say, “don’t convert, even if I earn U.S. dollars, I also spend in U.S. Dollars – so the cost of living is still too much.”
And when they ask me and I talk about how much I pay in real estate taxes, and home insurance and car insurance, they say, wow, that’s a lot of money and sometimes they’d even say if I have enough money to pay for all that, then I can afford to give them, yes, give them, money for their families.
HUH?? I don’t even get child support why would I give child support to anybody who is NOT MY child? Isn’t that the responsibility of the parent? And I am not being selfish here – because I have helped people financially in the past, (that’s what also helped brought me into this financial mess I am in right now), and that’s my mistake. Mine alone. But what I wrote about earlier in the other blog about “Our Responsibility – To Our Family” – is so appropriate right now – because quite frankly? I am having a difficult time providing right now for my own family, why would and how could I provide for others? Why would others EXPECT, as if they are entitled to it, that I give them money when they ask? They don’t even ask for a loan, they ask me to give them money. (Which reminds me, there are just too many people who have “asked for a loan” in the past from me who had no real intentions of paying me back, because they still HAVE not paid me back).
The people I’ve owed money to? I always try to pay them, even if it’s a little bit a time. Why can’t other people be the same? Why would I take on the responsibility for other people’s failure, yes, failure, and I will call it as it is, failure to perform the basic obligations and responsibilities of a parent? The sense of entitlement of some people! And why? Because they are related to me by blood? Or because of some previous connections like former workmate or schoolmate? I don’t know WHY they think living overseas is such a “prosperous” thing, because it’s the same old struggles all go through, it’s just a different location. It’s just a different culture.
It’s interesting, these past years, while they were so busy gossiping about me, (because stories reach me, there were actually people who reach out to me, out of concern to ask me BLUNT questions). So while they were busy gossiping about me, I was working my tail off trying to earn a living, studying on the side, working various sideline little businesses, working on projects, getting and earning degrees, and then they feel entitled to ASK me for the benefits of my hard work because they refused to work for it themselves?! Where is the FAIRNESS in that?
I wrote earlier, people think I’m stupid because I am nice to them and I help them out, people mistake niceness for stupidity, but hold on a sec, I will NOT enable you to keep on keeping on that wrong path! And another thing? They don’t even treat me right! I don’t and have never expected special treatment, but at least, treat me right! And then you ask money from me, and if I said no, because I don’t have money to give, you’ll gossip about me. Ask yourself …. if I, who work as hard as I do, trying everything I know to earn a living, researching, finding ways to earn extra, NEED money myself? Why wouldn’t you, who don’t work (but you work on uploading pictures and clicking “like” buttons on other people’s pictures and other “businesses” and building the business of other people, and you would not even hit the damn “click” button to “like” my business on FB and add website traffic to my website (because all you do on FB when you click the “like” button, is enriching the owner of FB as it generates more and more traffic to the FB website, and they can ask business owners to pay them on these “Pay Per Click” ads that you click the like buttons on.
And when I need money? I’ve learned that the people who have helped me out with money who did not enslave me because of the debt? Are those not related to me. I make it a point to pay my debt, even if it’s a little bit at a time, just to signify my intent to pay. And eventually, they get paid off. And for those huge amounts, just in case something happens to me? These people who helped me out ARE beneficiaries to my life insurance. (It’s sometimes sad to think you are worth more dead than alive).
Life is not about that. So the course I took in the turn of my life, all the different forks on the road that I took, getting lost, going back, getting another wrong road, going back, working in three different countries, understanding cultures, governments and taxes and all that good stuff, yes, all of those experiences have EXPANDED my horizons tremendously. Didn’t enrich my bank account (increased my credit card debt ) and so I am in search of something that would fix ME, because I am the only one to blame for the state I am in. I take ownership of this responsibility.
Which would bring me to the next responsibility ….
Continued on Next Post
Be blessed.
Cris =)
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