It’s Our Responsibility – Part 2
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Your Responsibility … Do you know what you are responsible for?
Some of us do, some of us don’t.
Our Responsibility: To Our Friends / Colleagues
Do we really have a responsibility to our friends and / or colleagues? Or are they just part of our everyday? What is a friend anyway? How does a person become a friend? How do you categorize friends?
On facebook, everyone can be categorized as a “friend” and if you don’t like that “friend”, you can “unfriend” them. (The word unfriend didn’t used to exist in dictionaries, but now it has become a new word that has been added to the latest dictionaries). Personally, I think that it’s a misuse of the word “friend”. Although that’s connection simplified. Hmmm .. so how should we describe an “enemy” if at some point we’re not enemies anymore, “UNENEMY”? LOL! (You saw that word on this blog post first! I’ve invented a word! )
On linkedin, it’s called “connections”, because you may be connected as classmates, or colleagues or fellow members of a group or fellow alumnus/alumni. Most coin linkedin as a facebook for your professional connections. Personally, I think that is appropriate.
Personally, I think that people can be categorized as follows:
1) Stranger – the people you pass by, or pass you by, on your day to day life. You don’t know their name.
2) Acquaintance – the people, whose name, and email address, you at least know.
3) Colleague – the people, whose name, email address and telephone number, you at least know
4) Friend – the people, whose name, email address, telephone number, home address, birthday, you at least know.
5) Close friend – the people, whose name, email address, telephone number, home address, birthday, their family members, you have been introduced to, and that you at least know.
6) Best friend – the people, whose name, email address, telephone number, home address, birthday, their family members, some of their secrets, you have been introduced to, and that you at least know.
So for me – all these levels have to be a two way thing, two way street. Because I could be a best friend to someone, but they are not necessarily my best friend.
So what is Our Responsibility To Our Friends / Colleagues?
It depends on where they fall on these categories I mentioned above. We have the basic responsibility to be courteous, respectful towards all people, regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, educational attainment, shape and size.
We have the responsibility to help them out when we can, when we should. There’s a thin line between being helpful and being taken advantage of (like I wrote in earlier blog, some people mistake niceness for stupidity – so they don’t really appreciate your nice gesture, they just think they got you fooled into doing something for them – there’s a lot of these types of people around, so be careful ).
We have the responsibility to let them know what we think, if they are asking for our honest opinion about something, and to give them our best advice. It is our responsibility to keep in confidence what should remain confidential. They trusted us with something, let’s not betray that trust.
We have the responsibility to be truthful with them, and sometimes to be frank, when we know that what they are doing is wrong. They might not like it (because it’s easy to dislike people who tell us or force us to confront ugly truths about ourselves, or a situation or a person that they might be involved with) – but sometimes we have to agree to disagree, but there are some things that a real friend would say to a friend, to keep that friend out of trouble. At least when you have done that? You have done your part as a friend.
We have the responsibility to share the good news with them, to enlighten them, to inspire them, to encourage them, especially when they need it. To share something that will benefit them. If they don’t agree? Then at least you’ve done your part.
Our friendships should not be debilitating – it should be life-enhancing.
I have been surrounded by a lot of negative people, I guess we all go through that, and that was WHEN I STARTED TO THINK real hard — I need to stay away from these types of negative people. They are “limitation” thinkers, whereas I am a “possibility” thinker. Have you ever been called by someone, who has nothing good to say, all negative news, and then when you try to encourage them, they retort back at you with something that would irk you? (Happens to me a lot of times, but it has greatly been reduced, because I am getting better at limiting their access to me (like I also wrote in an earlier blog post: Access is a privilege, not a right – and a lot of people ABUSE that privilege, so we need to take that away from them).
We all only have 24 hours per day.
So, there are even people who think they can just call (and not even give you the courtesy of asking how you are, or if you are busy at that moment, they feel entitled to your time, that the only thing you do all day is wait for their phone call. ) and just vent about some problem at work or in their business, and then I would say “Isn’t this the same issue that you were talking to me about before, and that I gave you the advice, my best advice on? Did you follow my advice?” – and the friend says “No… ” and then excuse after excuse why they didn’t follow it. And so it just ends with me saying “I bill by the hour for consulting, you are getting free consulting, that you are not using. If you are not using it, you are not only wasting your time, but you are also wasting mine. Reach out to me again, after you have done what I have advised. Please don’t talk to me again about the same issue if you are not willing to do anything about it. We can talk about something else next time.” Change the channel!
They might not like that, but I am not a sounding board for negativity, because if you listen to all those negative stuff? It will creep into your subconscious! (That’s why I don’t watch much news, it’s all people died here, people killed there, same old, same old. I wish they’d broadcast news that are good news, inspiring news, funny news, something positive). This is a typical example of a one way friendship. We shouldn’t settle for that. It should be two way.
It is our main responsibility to choose our friends, to choose who we hang out with, to be committed to a give and take friendship. If it’s one way, it’s not a friendship, it’s an acquaintance. It’s a t.v. show. a radio show, even if you reacted, they won’t notice it, they won’t even hear it! It’s a monologue. This blogging thing? It has the potential for a dialogue, because you know what? You can leave your comments below. And we can agree to agree, or agree to disagree, just don’t spam my blog!
So how many real friends do you have? Currently, I have one Super Best Friend. I have one male best friend. I have two female best friends. I have close friends and friends. And I am thankful. And I have a gazillion acquaintances, whose categories have yet to morph into real friendships.
Be blessed.
Cris =)
My EmpowerNetwork Blog