Creating Inner Peace

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Creating an atmosphere of inner peace within our family or social structure is an on-going challenge. Children insist on having their own way, and we are tempted to power struggle with them over it. Whether it is not following direction, or arguing about limits and boundaries set in place, we are continually tested and challenged by our children.

Our first impulse as adults is to intervene, and set the situation straight. This type of monitoring of the behavior of children has short term results, but fails to teach our children how to meet their deeper needs in a constructive way.

Monitoring Our Reactions

Once we are able to consistently monitor and control our own reactions, we are then able to better serve our children. At this point, we learn to understand more about what motivates them, and how they truly feel, and what they value. Only then can we help them to manage themselves in socially acceptable ways. We are then valuable role models for them to emulate.

By modeling the behavior we wish to teach, we have gained credibility in their eyes. It’s no longer “do what I say, not what I do” sort of message. If we don’t want them to shout, we don’t shout. If we want to swear, we don’t swear. Children are sponges and pick up quickly on the behavior of others, especially adults.

Children respond much better when they are not forced or coerced into doing something. Children have a need for autonomy, independence, play, and exploration. The shift comes when the child is able to trust that he or she is not going to be forced to do something, so they can act on their own to consider another’s wishes.

Connecting with the other person is what this is all about regardless of age. Meeting each other’s needs for support, understanding, peace, autonomy and honesty goes a long way to building inner peace within our children.

Often this takes a leap of faith and trust on our part. We learn to understand that we can resolve things without resorting to force. In this way we not only resolve a situation peaceably, but we also instill in our children the values of trust and understanding.

Being positive role models for our children, is a more creative approach to disciplining kids, and has long lasting effects. Inner peace is attainable for both ourselves and our children. We set the example, and they follow, not because of forced compliance, but because it makes sense for them to do so.

Review the information on The Empower Network, and see if you find it helpful.