Christmas Makes People Crazy
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
- Keep on keepin the Beat
Merry Christmas
Christmas is upon us once again. That’s both good and bad.
You get a little down-time to hang out and visit with family and friends. You only get to see some of these folks once a year so it’s fun to catch up. Christmas is a time of warmth and good feeling towards your fellow man.
However, have you noticed how, as it gets closer and closer to December 25th people start going crazy?
Pull in to your local mall or mega store. This is where the fun starts. Everyone wants to score the coveted parking spot. You know, the one right beside the handicapped spaces.
Let the Christmas parking wars begin.
I have witnessed some pretty animated shouting, or should I say all out screaming matches between who stole who’s parking space. These time wasting and aggravating standoffs sometimes escalate into physical aggression looking like a UFC match.
All this for a lousy parking space. What with obesity and all you’d think people would park further from the doors and try walking. there’s a novel idea. Exercise.
And they haven’t even got into the store yet. This is where the excitement escalates as people run from aisle to aisle, and store to store, looking for that perfect gift item. More often than not it’s a matter of trying to see what they can find cheaper than anywhere else.
So if you receive an un-requested, or un-related present under the Christmas tree this year, the sale price could be the reason. I mean, if you’re a woman and you receive a man’s electric razor, it was probably on sale.
Your friend or family member probably bought it on impulse, because it was on sale. Later, realizing they had totally blown their shopping budget for the year, they decided to just divvy up what ever was in their bag. This usually results in you receiving the odd gift.
Christmas Sales Madness
With the onslaught or retail advertising leading up to the Christmas holidays it’s no wonder people lose their minds. Which store has this and what store has that? It isn’t rocket surgery, but somehow it befuddles normally rational people this time of year.
With the vast array of stuff you don’t really need going on sale at rock bottom prices, your mortgage or car payment can be put on hold.
I had a small retail merchandising business for many years. As a result i have a pretty good handle on what things cost. But most Christmas shoppers haven’t got a clue. If you don’t have any idea of what a product normally costs, how can you possibly know if the sale price is any good?
Alright, now you’ve got your shopping cart filled with all theChristmas goodies you absolutely think you must have.
You figure you have everyone on your list covered. Socks for Uncle buck. A scarf for cousin Winnie. The talking fish plaque for your brother. A new kitchen gadget for Mom, it slices, dices, minces, starts your car and is an oven timer among other things. New iPads for your teens. And who can forget the 150 inch flat panel TV for Dad?
Ahh! The Christmas Shopping Line Up
This is only the beginning. Things really start getting crazy now. as you up to aisle 7 with your cart, you instantly notice you are last in a line of about 27 people.
Oh well, maybe it’ll move along smoothly. With any luck you’ll be out of here in 20 minutes. All of a sudden the over the store’s PA system the Wonderful Christmas music (crap you’ve heard a million times) stops dead in it’s tracks.
Instead you hear the worst thing a harried Christmas shopper standing in a long line can possibly experience. Across the store you hear a hoarse, scratchy voice announce these threatening words “Price check in aisle 7.”
You look up with a start and realize you are standing in aisle 7. Oh well, maybe it won’t take too long, but in the back of your mind you know its not likely. And so you wait and wait and wait.
Finally when you’re just about finished reading every gossip rag on the stands (thank goodness for those little time-wasters) the line starts to move. You can almost see the color of the cashier’s eyes. You’re getting closer.
Now if you can only hang on a few more minutes you might avoid peeing your pants on the way out.
Ah, the way out. Now you need to remember what entrance you came in. In the big malls this can be a nightmare. Was it the main entrance? Or the one beside the sports bar. or maybe the Old Navy entrance.
It was the sports bar, you’re FREE at last. Now where the hell did your car go. Aisle D4 or was it C7? Crap! And just when you thought you were home-free.
You angrily move the shopping cart some caring soul left smashed into your car door. Alright, now cram all your treasures in to the car so you can get the hell out of here and go home for a much needed drink.
Damn there is a tow truck hauling away a damaged minivan. Now you wait, knowing inside your turn to escape the Christmas parking nightmare will soon be over.
Whew! Can’t wait to do it again next Christmas. Right! Maybe you’ll shop in October next year.
With that in mind. I want to wish all of you (and you know who you are) a great big, warm fuzzie MERRY CHISTMAS!!!
Have a good one and enjoy that drink. You’ve earned it.
Keepin the Christmas Beat
Rick