Failing As A Father Even Though You Think You Are Doing Everything Right
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Failing As A Father Is As Hurtful If Not More Then Failing At Your Marriage
I don’t know if many men out there with children of course, have ever felt that they were failing as a father. Even though they may have felt that they were doing everything right to raise their kids, that feeling of failure still lurked.
I would really like to know if it stems from the experiences that some fathers like myself go through in their early childhood, that really has an effect on them without them even realizing it. I myself can only hope to find the answers for myself to this terrible feeling, and who knows it maybe all in my head as to my feelings of failing as a father goes, but I think I have a good idea why.
It don’t think, and can almost be assured that it isn’t because a man who is, or feels like he is failing as a father really is a bad father at all. I believe it is just a matter of looking at the situation with an open mind, and making the necessary adjustments before it is to late.
Raising three boys does have it’s challenges, but from what I hear it is nothing like having to raise three girls (not meaning that in a bad way), but I am sure some parents can agree with this statement. I do know that with many jobs out there like the one I work now aside from my part-time online business, took away a lot of time from the family at crucial times of growth with my boys.
Times that my lovely wife had to shoulder by herself all of the emotions and attitudes and mood swings on her own. If I had been wiser I would have started my online business years ago so that I would have been able to stay with my wife to raise them together in the early years, something I am now working on now…
The Feeling Of Failing As A Father Is A Terrible Feeling To Have
When I started feeling that I was failing as a father, I can honestly say it’s a time of sadness and a broken heart. I look at raising boys as being the fathers number one responsibility because of the roll modeling that occurs. I never had the opportunity to have my father as a roll model, but I knew that I was to be one for my boys the best way I can.
I believe when we are failing as a father, it is because we don’t really take a look at our own actions, and I mean everyday actions. I want to say that it is our responsibility to act in a way that is honorable for our kids to see. I know that I haven’t been this for my kids which I believe is the reason I feel like I have been failing as a father.
My boys are great kids and I love them with all my heart, but I realize that what I do positively daily is more important than anything that I can do for them financially. (my family photo)
It is always a beautiful thing to be able to provide for your family everything that they would need and more, but money and things are not everything, and they definitely won’t bring long term happiness.
Teaching my boys the importance of love and life is important, but if I can’t back that up with my actions it is all for nothing. Failing as a father doesn’t mean you have failed forever, it just means that you need to reevaluate what you do as a father that could be affecting your children. This is something I have done, and change is coming for my boys to see, and for my lovely wife as well…
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Phil Ruiz
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