Want To Be A Better Person?
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Want To Be A Better Person?
Well, for starters, to be a better person, you have to be a happier person.
We tend to equate happiness with external factors; finding love, financial security, that “whatever” you’ve always wanted. And those things may indeed make you a happier person but it doesn’t help you be a better person.
1. The Blame Game
We all make mistakes and it’s normal to blame all those external factors that contribute to those mistakes. We blame those closest to us. But we are also to blame.
Lack of planning, an oversight, someone else dropping the ball that resulted in a problem. Perhaps you asked too much, too soon.
However taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming someone or something is actually empowering–it enables you to focus on doing things better or smarter next time.
Knowledge and experience equals growth and it will make you a better person and someone people respect.
2. Impressing the Crowd
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. That’s all stuff. People may like your things–but it doesn’t mean they like you.
No solid relationship was built on the kind of car you drive or what label lines your clothing.
Genuine relationships make you a happier person, they are fulfilling and they begin when you start being yourself.
3. Clinging Vine Syndrome
There’s nothing worse than feeling insecure. When you’re insecure, you cling to things you know, even if you know they aren’t particularly good for you.
It’s like that bad relationship that you keep hoping will change. It won’t change; you’re the one that has to change.
Happiness will come when you reach goals by earning what you want. Stretch!
4. Interrupting At All Costs
Interrupting is just rude. When you interrupt, what you’re really saying is, “I am more important than you. I’m only pretending to listen to you so I can decide what I want to say.” It’s also a habit you can break, if you think about it.
Nothing captivates other people like attention. Focus on what they say. Give them your full attention, they’ll love you for it.
And you’ll love how it feels.
5. Stop Whining!
Complaining is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything and just puts you in a negative place. Try to put a positive spin on things.
Don’t moan about what went wrong; instead think about how you’ll fix it. Remember that some of the best conversations are the ones you have with yourself.
Words are powerful and your own words have a huge impact, especially on yourself. Wallowing in self pity is not going to make you a better person. That “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” is far more constructive.
Remember, we are a “solution oriented” generation.
6. You Don’t Have to Control Everything
Yah – you’re bad. You’re hot. You’ve got it happening.
But the only thing you really control is yourself. You can’t change anyone. You can’t really make anyone do anything (believe me I know – I have children) unless they buy into it.
Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and be better business associates and much better friends.
We’re not cookie-cutter creations. ”Different” is good and when you feel you’re lacking control because you can’t make someone march to your tune, LET GO.
It will make you a happier person, in a matter of moments. Nothing is as liberating as letting go of control.
7. You’re So Critical…
OK, you’ve got a better education, more experience. You know, because you’ve been there.
But often, it’s better to let people go through “the process” themselves; let them emerge with their own unique perspective.
People learn from their successes and their failures. The brain is wired that way.
Your criticism doesn’t help them grow. At best, it feeds their resentment at worst, it feeds their insecurity.
8. “Papa Don’t Preach”
The more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything; and the more you’ll feel this inclination to share these accomplishments and knowledge so that people can bask in your brilliance.
Preaching like criticism, assumes that your experience is the only one worth knowing. Unsolicited advice is rarely advice is rarely welcome.
It will make you a happier person when people listen to you and your advice is sought. You’ll know people are listening to you rather than being a captive audience.
9. Living in the Past
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Then let it go.
It’s a question of focus. When something bad happens see it as an opportunity to learn. When someone makes a mistake, be kind and forgiving.
The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong and what you need to change.
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
― Tupac Shakur
10. Fear
We’re all afraid of something. Change, being alone, being broke, being ill-perceived, not being accepted.
You can allow that fear to consume you or you can be a warrior. Fighting what you’re afraid of is always better than giving in to it. This is when you need to “take control”.
Live your dreams, your passions and believe that it’s better to go down trying.
” Do something. Do anything.”
Don’t let fear be the thing that stops you from chasing your dreams, your goals. Anything but fear.
I know I am not breaking new ground here. At a glance it’s just a bunch of platitudes being recycled.
But it’s worth reminding yourselves that you deserve to be happy and that in order to get there you need to be a better person. Just a few internal tweaks!
Live from Monterey, California…
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