Aging v.s. Getting Older: A Personal Perspective

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

 How Old Are You?

I hate that question.

I feel like it immediately puts me in a group or category; defined.

Don’t know why I am so immature or vain about my age. After all, it is what it is. You would think I’d be used to the idea that I am not young anymore.

But I’m not used to it.  I don’t feel old.

Getting Older

I’ve lived a very rich life so far. A life filled with experiences that make me smile and shake my head; ones I would have to kill my children for even thinking about.

Yes I know – major double standard.

But one of things I’ve learned as I have grown older is that when it comes to being a parent, double standards are sooooo much easier to accept than when I was 16.

I was the quintessential “wild child”.  My parents “grayed” early.

For the most part, I have enjoyed the various phases of my life and learning from my many, many mistakes, missteps and the ”boy that was a close one”!  Practically no regrets.

I had to do what I had to do.  Just the way it is.

I love the exuberance  and excitement, the abandonment to the moment that you feel during youth. (Youth = 16 to young adulthood).

Try everything, do everything, be anything.  But  I should have grown up by now.

One would think.

My problem is that I went to grad school in Monterey, California. Three of the best years of my life.

I worked hard, played harder and made life long friends.

I moved away; live  Greece, the Netherlands, Canada.  Moved back to the U.S. and lived in Chicago and then suddenly, 10 years  later, a twist of fate brought me back to Monterey.

I still had a few friends here.

And so life picked up where I had left it as a 20-something graduate.

Naturally, I am in a time warp.  My school years feel like they were yesterday instead of 20 years ago.

I still feel that young.

I still behave that silly – particularly in the company of my old friends.

We still howl at the moon.

I still ride the grocery cart to my car.

But I have also come to appreciate a certain maturing in my decision-making process, my choices, the confidence: I have a more panoramic view of life.

I think that comes with going around the block a few times.

As a woman, I think there is a “magic time“, when you have the “calm after the storm”, the intellectual confidence, the presence – and at the same time, the looks and body that make you sassy.

What a powerful time that is!

I’m sure the timing is a little different for each woman.

For me – it was my 30′s.  It’s not that I don’t feel “fabulous” now, it’s just that those years were the pinnacle.

Okay – that’s the only hint you’ll about my age. 🙂

Aging

Well aging just plain sucks.

And it isn’t necessarily age related.

I don’t plan to elaborate on the genetics of aging or all the good and bad things we do that hasten or delay the process.  There are LOADS of health, fitness and beauty blogs to address all that.

I am referring to that inevitable moment when you look in the mirror, critically but objectively and detect that slight slackening of your skin around the jowls, the dark circles under your eyes that don’t disappear by noon.

The deepening of those smile wrinkles you had when you were younger.

“Vanity!  Women is thy name.”

The thing is, at 20, I thought that youthful glow and fabulous skin would last forever.

Alas.

So I guess what I want to convey in this self-indulgent little blog is that I like growing older, growing smarter, learning and connecting the dots.

I have lots of dots.

I even like the fact that, the  older I get – the smarter I realize my parents were.  (major Mark Twain paraphase).

Looking older, aka aging.  Not so much.