“How To Win Friends And Influence People” A Review of An Oldie But Goodie!

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

“How To Win Friends And Influence People” was written by Dale Carnegie in 1936.

His philosophies are a lost art in today’s society.  It’s easy to read, and it’s built on common sense, which again many lack nowadays!  I think everyone should read it and put it to good use–this world would be a much nicer place! 

I am going to outline his principles here, but you really need to pick up the book to get the full effect of the points he makes.

How to win people to your way of thinking:

Principle #1:  The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Principle #2:  Show respect for the other person’s opinions.  Never say, “You’re wrong.”  (I used to have someone say this to me a lot–it was very demeaning even though THAT person was not very bright!  It just took me a while to realize it….)

Principle #3:  If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Principle #4:  Begin in a friendly way.

Principle #5:  Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

Principle #6:  Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Principle #7:  Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Principle #8:  Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Principle #9:  Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

Principle #10:  Appeal to the nobler motives.  (Assume  that people are honest, sincere, and truthful–let them know this.  Sometimes they will let you down, but more often that not, they won’t if they know what you think of them.)

Principle #11:  Dramatize your ideas.  (Use dramatization and showmanship to make ideas seem better.)

Principle #12:  Throw down a challenge.  (Give them a chance to win, to prove their worth.)

Principle #12:  Throw down a challenge.

Be a leader:

Principle #1:  Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Principle #2:  Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

Principle #3:  Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Principle #4:  Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Principle #5:  Let the other person save face.

Principle #6:  Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.  Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

Principle #7:  Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Principle #8:  Use encouragement.  Make the fault seem easy to correct.

Principle #9:  Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Don’t many of these things sound like common sense?

When you read this book, sometimes you just want to say “Oh my gosh, I didn’t realize that–how easy!”  It’s a good compelling read–pick it up at Amazon for about 10 bucks!

Then start winning friends and influence people! 

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