The Five Love Languages

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

The Five Love Languages

One of my favorite books is The Five Love Languages-How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Is it not our intention to spend the rest of our lives with the one we married?

What happens after we make this most significant decision? When we thought “everything was great until we got married.”

Dr. Chapman writes…”people express and receive love in different ways. If you express love in a way your spouse doesn’t understand, he or she won’t realize you’ve expressed your love at all. The problem is that you’re speaking two different languages”.

About 8 years ago…I decided that I wasn’t going to date for 1 year. I was hurt in yet another relationship and just decided to stop. I must say that it was one of the best decisions I’ve made. That’s when the book “The Five Love Languages” crossed my path.

I believe that marriages should not go flat after a year or two but grow and be more intimate as time goes on. And for about 5 years most of the reading that I did was on Marriage and Relationships. The book The Five Love Languages is one of those books that you read again and again just to keep things fresh in your mind.

The Five Love Languages Are…

According to Dr. Chapman The Five Love Languages Are… Quality Time; Words Of Affirmation; Gifts; Acts Of Service and Physical Touch.

We tend to “give” what we want to “receive”. When in fact if you truly love your spouse you will learn to give what they need. I think one of the problems with most marriages today is that we stop “courting” (call me old fashion but I like that word).

I think we need all 5 of the love languages…but one is usually more dominant. The one language, more than the others, gives you that warm fuzzy feeling on the inside.

An Example Of The Five Love Languages

An Example Of The Five Love Languages include the following scenarios.

Maybe your husband needs to hear what a great job he did fixing the car or building that cabinet, but you feel the nice dinner you spent hours preparing ought to cheer him up. And you don’t understand why he’s still down in the dumps.

The husband needs to hear Words Of Affirmation and the wife is giving an Act Of Service.

Or perhaps your wife longs to spend time with you…no kids…no TV…just you. You may have noticed that she’s feeling a bit blue so you pick up some flowers and think “that should do the trick” but it doesn’t.

The wife longs for Quality Time and the husband is giving a “Gift”.

In both of the above scenarios neither spouse is speaking the love language that the other needs to head/receive to feel…to reinforce that their spouse really loves them.

Almost 5 years ago my (now) brother-in-law Mike was telling one of the guys he worked with that he was getting married. The co-worker’s response was “why would you want to do that”?

You see his marriage was not a happy one and was contemplating divorce. Mike went on to tell him why and consequently picked up a copy of The Five Love Languages for this gentleman.

Two weeks later Mike’s co-worker approached him and stated that “I think you just saved my marriage”. He had read the book…made some observations in regards to his wife and started to implement the appropriate love language. He really wants his wife to read The Five Love Languages book. Last I heard…he’ put it on the coffee table in hopes that she will pick it up.

Find out what your Love Language is… Take the Love Language Quiz

Are you willing to look at something, a book, an opportunity, that has the ability to change the way you see things or even change your life?

That’s what happened to me when I read The Five Love Languages and more recently joined Empower Network.

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Click one of the banners or the Empower Network logo above to discover how you can change your financial future and pick up a copy of The Five Love Languages.

To your marital and financial success!

Blessings, Denise Seguin