What I Learned From Growing Up With Brothers

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

1. (Almost) Anything Boys can do- girls can do too.
   I had the advantage of being the middle child (which many people don’t really consider to be an advantage) and in being the middle child I was sandwiched between two of my favorite people. I was the middle of their age gap. I learned how to play football, baseball, basketball. I was included in road hockey. Never once did my brothers make me feel like an activity was not for “girls”. My big brother would take me to the creek to catch crayfish with his friends. My little brother would show me the weirdest cult movies he could find. All activities were unisex- and that rocked.
2. Food is the answer. It was amazing how much food these brothers of mine could consume. It was also amazing how food could turn the day around. Bad day?- have a pizza. Want to show you care? Make some brownies. Talking about food, ordering food, and making food were all good. Mixing up weird combinations of foods and daring your siblings to eat it was instant entertainment. This is something I have continued to do for my husband nowadays. Bad day honey- here, let me make a cake….bingo- life is good again.
3. Boys will be Boys is quite frankly the stupidest saying on the planet. Whoever coined this phrase is basically stating that boys can be jerks- because they don’t know any better. Ridiculous. Boys/Girls/People should all be held to a higher standard. It’s not ok for boys to behave less than appropriately simply because they carry a y chromosome. Bad behaviour should never be excused by this phrase. My brothers and I were raised to be gentle, caring, empathetic, respectful individuals. Malicious wrestling, name calling, teasing and fighting was not allowed. This isn’t to say that we were perfect and never fought.  I did once crack a remote control over my younger brother’s hand when we were arguing over what to watch.  And my brothers did have many occasions where one would sit on the other in protest.  Good times. But,  I learned from my brother’s examples that boys and men are highly capable of being kind people and that their gender does not dictate their ability to treat others well. I have learned that my baby boy can grow into a gentle, kind, caring man and that I can tell people that excuse their boys poor behaviour with this phrase to “stuff it”(very kindly- ha!)
4. I have learned that the best friends you can ever really have are your siblings. They are your first friends and will likely be some of your last. I remember how quietly devastated my little brother and I were when my older brother got married and moved out. Yes, we were very happy for him and loved his wife- but there was something so heartbreaking about him leaving. Likewise- it was painful for them when I got married and moved across the country. But the bond we have developed over the years is strong enough that we have continued to remain close. My brothers are who I call to vent, complain, celebrate and commiserate. They get it. They know exactly who I am. I can be exactly who I am with them and even if that gets a little ugly at certain times- I know that I will be forgiven for it and still loved. This is an amazing thing. This is something that I will foster and nurture in my children. I wish nothing more for my children that they would love each other, cherish each other and take care of one another.
5. Farts are funny. Always. This never goes away. Burps, farts, hiccups- any bodily sound really is a good time. Don’t be embarrassed. Just laugh. Laughing is good for you and a day without laughter is a day wasted, Charlie Chaplin said so.