Chasing Happiness

What is Happiness really?

What is happiness to you?

Can you pin point the happiest days in your life? What were they?  Where did the happiness come from?  What made it so amazing?

Was it a wedding day? A graduation? Birth of a child? Are our most happiest moments moments that are monumental- or can they be a sense of contentment in being exactly where you believe you are supposed to be?

I made a decision this New Year to spend more time focusing on happiness. Happiness for myself, my family, the people around me and out in the world.  I deeply desire to raise children that are happy.  I want to continue to have a happy marriage.  I have always dreamed of having a “happy family” and being “happy in my work”.  I wanted to make other people happy and spread happiness.  But really, what is happiness?  How do you know if you’ve found it?  How do you hold on to it?  In looking for inspiration on how to be more  happy I was bombarded with quotes.  In fact, Google found about a million plus quotes in under 2 seconds.

It is my New Years Quest to seek and chase happiness. Since having my second baby I have been in a bit of a fog.  I love my children insanely, but I also find that some days, despite my love for them, in a bit of a funk.  I hear myself complaining about things that really shouldn’t matter, being grumpy about things that in retrospect, really aren’t that big of a deal.  I have decided that in my year at home with my children, I need to change my mindset.  I need to refocus myself, and retrain myself to be in a positive mindset if my intention is to raise children who find the beauty in everyday.  Who make a difference in this world and feel an inner sense of joy. Most children are naturally curious, and joyous and have the amazing ability to revel in the   I have come up with a couple strategies in my journey to find happiness this year.  I am going to share some of them with you and document the process throughout the year.

One quote claims that “The Art of Happiness lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things”.  – Henry Ward Beecher.

If this is true, then happiness is what happens when we slow down, live in the present moment, relish the little things and become highly aware of the beauty and simplicity of every day life.  Its stopping to smell the rain, taste a snowflake, or touch the grass.  It’s the sound of little feet running into your room in the morning to pounce on you.  It’s the sweet, sticky kisses a toddler plants on your face.  Its the smell of a baby fresh out of the bath.  Its the comfort of a over-sized dog trying to sneak onto your lap for a cuddle and a sloppy face lick.  Its the warmth of hot chocolate in your mouth, the beauty of a sunrise or the dirty grime that cakes onto the bottom of your feet after a full day of play.

I have started a ‘Happiness Jar” for our family.  I swiped the idea from Elizabeth Gilbert- the author of “EAT, PRAY, LOVE”.  The idea of it is that you have a jar in which you place happy moments in as they occur by writing them down on a piece of paper and throwing them in the jar.  Essentially, you collect moments in a jar that you can pop open and indulge in when you need a pick me up or a refocus of your blessings.  I wanted to start it right on New Years Day, however, our daughter is somewhat of a hoarder and collector and as soon as she saw a brand new jar on the counter she had to have it.  She carried it around for a week with her toys and trinkets in it.  In fact one of my first favourite happy moments that I documented to put in the jar was the vision of Zoey walking around the house lugging a jar full of goodies and telling me it was her “happenings jar”. 

Zoey playing hide and seek by herself and counting in the cupboard she was hiding in

Liam’s first big belly laugh that seemed to startle and please both him and me equally

Taking both kids to the Zoo by myself on our first day outing without any one else helping me and it being a success

Zoey creating her own new language and insisting on speaking it all day, while asking us “What did I say?”

Unexpected flowers from Bill when the kids were sick and I was pretty much covered in puke non stop for 24 hours

Zoey’s laughter as Bill chases her around and around the kitchen island while I bounce a full and squealing baby on my knee

As I have started this activity, I have found myself consciously stopping throughout my day to identify what moments are bringing me joy. I have become more aware of the awesomeness in my life.  I stop and try to savor these moments so much more.  I write them down, consider how to word them, share them with my family and look back on them every couple days to refresh my happy.

“Everyone wants happiness, No one wants pain.  But you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain”. 

At the end of each day we have started something new in our house.  When we put Zoey to bed we cuddle up and talk about all the amazing and fun things we have done in the day.  Then we share which one is our favourite “Happy Moment”.  I love listening to my three year old decide which moment brought her the most joy and hearing her talking out her decision making process.  She also throws in what was “not her favourite moment…no ways” which is always good for a laugh for me.  But it is amazing to see, the rough patches, the bummers and disappointments that inevitably pop up throughout our days, balance out.  If you look hard enough, and think about it carefully, there is happiness that can be found in some of the most painful and frustrating moments too.

‘It’s not how much you have, but how much you enjoy that makes happiness”- Charles Spurgeon

Another way we are working on finding more happiness is by trying to eliminate all of the extras that are not neccesary.  My focus is to stop spending so much money on “stuff” and “things” that don’t matter to our lives.  So often I have fallen into the trap of buying “stuff” for myself, my spouse and my children in an attempt to feel good.  To buy happiness.  What I have come to realize is that what my children want is my time.  What my partner wants is my time.  Really, it comes down to time.  Being present and engaged.  Having fun together.  Getting outside to be silly and childish.  Playing at the beach, swinging at the park, splashing in puddles, ice skating, tobogganing- these are all activities that are free to enjoy and mean so much more than dropping a ton of cash buying crap you forget about as soon as you get home and plop the bag down on the floor.  Our goal as a family is to spend more time doing family activities, especially activities that are free- as they are often the best memories. To do this we have to be very intentional.  Write them down on the calendar and stick to them.

“Happiness is a choice”

The last thing on my list of strategies in my pursuit of happiness this year, is sort of a Happiness Bucket List for 2015.  Bill and I are working together to create our own Bucket List of Happy Activities for our year.  We are choosing to try new things, attempt new activites, face the year head on and experience all it has to offer.  We are thinking together of things that will bring our family joy, and bring joy to others.  We will be updating our list regularly and sharing our experiences.

Some things on our list so far:

– Do something kind for someone else at least once a month.  (do it with Zoey so she can see how making other people happy rocks)

– Go out in the middle of nowhere to watch the stars and listen to the silence

– Write a love letter

– Learn something new ( I want to learn how to play something on guitar)

– Unplug all devices during family time

– Try to spend at least 30 minutes outside in nature every day

– Try to have a cup of tea with a friend at least bi-weekly

– Make a stranger smile everyday

– Read to Zoey and Liam everyday

– Start painting again for pleasure

– Renew my library card and take out books for myself (and not just for the kids)

– Go on a date with Bill at least once a month

– Sign up for a yoga class

– Send my book manuscripts to publishers

-Take pictures of the kids everyday and send them to their grandparents

-Facetime with family weekly

– Have dance parties in the living room weekly (or whenever it strikes our fancy)

– Have a daily family hug

-Learn how to ski

– Donate blood

– Take the kids hiking to see a waterfall

– Have a bon fire

– Go to the Theatre

-Take Zoey to the theatre

– Apply to work at the Sesame Street Workshop

These are just a few.  My list is growing everyday and I am adding to it as I think about the things that make me happy- and spread happiness to others. I am intending to chronicle the happiness as it happens, document through snapshots and words so I can hold on to the feeling.  I am intending to share it with others in an attempt to pass the happy along.

And finally…

“Do what you love, and love what you do, and happiness will come to you”.

Since becoming a wife, a mom and really an adult in general I think I have lost some of the magic that made me who I was.  Growing up I danced fearlessly (terribly, but fearlessly nonetheless).  I was an artist.  I painted, did printmaking, took photos and sketched.  I was happiest at a printing press or behind an easel covered in paint.  I was in stage shows and productions.  I would sing at the top of my lungs and wear tap shoes to school (despite being terrible at tap dancing and never taking a lesson).  I played the guiro.  I wrote witty and ridiculous songs and serenaded other students on my way to class.  I was a bit of a nutball.  By this point you are likely wondering exactly how I snagged a great guy and got him to marry me…..but that’s a whole other story. Anyways, some of these adventures have been left in the past as they sometimes do as I have aged.  Instead of paining murals, I cut out shapes for craft time.  Instead of dancing in stage show productions, I dance to Disney Remixes with my toddler.  Instead of writing stories and journals, I write report cards and special education plans.  Although I am enraptured by my children and absolutely love teaching with all of my heart, I often miss the magic of my past. A time when I wasn’t so concerned about proving myself.  A time when I wasn’t so tired (Ha! No seriously- I’m so tired- hello? 4 month old and 3 year old- yeesh! It’s all good).

In my endeavor to chase happiness, I have decided to return to some of my first loves.  I will take in the Theatre.  I will dig out my old paint sets.  I will return to writing.  I will do some of the things that used to fill my soul with joy.

But before I sign off- here’s a picture of one of my happiest moments.  It’s a picture of me on my first day as Bill’s wife. Woot Woot!

If you like what you’ve read, or if you have some ideas I can add to my Happiness Bucket List- please comment and share.  I am always open to new ideas and experiences.

If you are interested in sharing your own ideas, passions and opinions through blogging, click on the link below to see how you too can create a blog that is super easy and fun to use.

Here’s to Happiness! Cheers!