To a beautiful struggling soul
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
You may some times feel like the toad in the fairy garden but You deserve to know what makes you real, What makes you a fairy in the garden. It is that you do feel this way, you see all these beautiful lights all these people full of so many wonderful things and you are so blinded by their beauty you just can’t see or comprehend your own. “It is not our darkness but our light that most frightens us.”
There is a natural supplement called 5 HTP, I take it helps my feelings of emptiness, sometimes some of us have brains that for what ever reason don’t produce enough seratonin. In my case molestation caused my wiring to go funky, in yours it could be genetic or something you’ve suppressed, but don’t feel weak or less because you take something that helps you be a better mother and happier person. It is you taking action to validate that you do deserve happiness to your subconscious you may not always need a supplement but what you are describing to me are the signs of a struggling soul who cares too much, too deeply, loves too much and because of that, and you are so beautiful you hurt more than others, and thats okay, pain can be a good thing. In a way it might be harder for you because you don’t have some thing to point to and say this, this here is what caused it, for you it just is without rhyme or reason that you know of yet. I am sure you will someday figure it out. Just know it doesn’t matter if you can point to it or not where ever you are in your journey is beautiful and perfect!
When I was first told I had depression it was by my sister, and I did not want to go on drugs that took away myself made me feel differently… Finally I went through my year of hell and I didn’t care if I wasn’t me anymore I just wanted out so I started taking Lexapro it just made me not want to do anything, completely okay with being broke and doing nothing… it didn’t work for me. Then they put me on prozac and it was like a miracle occurred I could finally be the person I’d been wanting to be my whole life but couldn’t because of I didn’t have the power to give my brain what it needed to function like I wanted and needed to to give me that power.
When I married David, he wanted me off Prozac because of the fluoride and I went through a huge depression till we finally found 5 HTP a natural and amazing anti depressant, some times I use Sam E as well depending on the type of depression I feel, they aren’t something I take all the time I just take them when I need them. Yesterday I woke up in a funk and after a few hours started balling just wanting to die… the pain inside was awful so I took some and the rest the day was so much better. Today i haven’t taken any and I probably won’t but when my body gets low on what it needs I have it there to help support me and to tell my subconscious I want to be happy and being happy is okay. Your story has really touched me and I hope you know I love you too and you are not alone you are beautiful and I see you as a beautiful light in the world!
Thank you for being open and touching my heart so deeply!