After the Storm . Part 4

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Continued from previous blog post

After the Storm

One crazy realization….

… I did not know how to drive to my son’s school. Pathetic, huh?

So I called his school, I told them not to let my son out on the School Bus, that I was going to pick him up, only I didn’t know how to get there, because my ex-husband always drove all of us. And when I would ask for directions, he usually wouldn’t give it to me, his style was, he would drive different routes to intentionally confuse me. (Since he knew I was geographically challenged).

I realized this as I was asking directions from my son’s school and I was crying, I said, “I’m sorry I am ignorantly stupid about this place, I am a foreigner, I don’t know my way around here, but please bear with me, I just want to pick up my son.”

So I got to pick my son up. The lady stayed with me on the phone until I actually got there, and I gave them the copy of the restraining order, that I was the ONLY ONE, who will pick up my son… that’s the bad part about not having anybody, or any relatives in the city where you live in… and as I was like in this type of a marriage, where I wasn’t allowed to have friends… it was more pathetic! (Damn, I was stupid! I didn’t even recognize that at first that I was on that path of being so controlled that it was as if I was not allowed to think for myself! And I wasn’t like that BEFORE I got married! I was fun and gregarious and friendly and courageous! During the marriage I turned into this zombie who can’t seem to think for herself!)

So when I went back to work, after three days … I was like a zombie still…

… and wearing turtle necks to hide my bruises..

… but the ones on my hands, the scratches, the swollen wrists, yup… some of my buddies at work saw it.

My boss advised me to go seek professional help, since we have it at work, all confidential, and it’s normal and it’s okay to ask for help from the people who could best give me the best advice so it doesn’t happen to me again.

I took the advise. I sought for help. There was no shame in that, because if you see yourself in front of a mirror, with a red blood clot in your right eye, that’s painful to even look at…

… a vein in my right eye popped from too much crying.

… to see myself in front of a mirror, with my neck covered with bruises ..

… inflicted upon me by the man I married, that I vowed to God, to be with, in sickness and in health, the man who in the end laid angry hands on me, his wife, it was supposed to be, “till death do us part”…

… my marriage contract that I signed didn’t say you’re allowed to kill each other! LOL! Or cause the other person’s death, right?

Continued on next blog post

Related articles:

Got Courage? . Part 1

Abusive Relationship . Part 2

When Fear Eats You Alive . Part 3

After the Storm . Part 4

So Where Was God in All That? . Part 5

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