How I Handle Fear So I Can Achieve My Goals

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Having fear is normal.  Not taking action in spite of fear however, is what keeps people stuck in the rut they are in for a lifetime.

* Lifestye dreams not gone after.

* Goals not achieved.

* Dream jobs not pursued.

* Relationships not pursued.

* Things not tried (but secretly you wish you would have)

* You name it.  

FEAR:  False Evidence Appearing Real

The things we as humans allow our mind to believe about what is true and what is just a story we are telling ourselves, is astonishing.  

But because we have been programmed since birth to basically accept what we fear as being a real threat to our well being, our brain recalls events, conversations, hurtful comments, being made fun of, teachers and parents that didn’t offer positive feedback, no education on self-worth, etc., these fears can seem very real to us.

As a result, when we set out to do something great… to reach for a breakthrough… to start a new thing…our past comes up to bite us in the butt and we self sabotage our success.  

Heck, for that matter, we self-sabotage our attempt!

Beware:  That is just our old non-serving, non-believing mindset that’s trying to protect us.  In actuality, it’s hurting us and keeping us from achieving our dreams.  Don’t stand for it!

The things we worry about when allowing fear to hold us back, are things we imagine in our minds which are negative with bad outcomes and they haven’t even happened!

Not only that, the film we play in our heads about the “what if’s” usually never happen anyway!  It’s all fabricated!  Our worst nightmares never come true!  

How I Personally Handle Fear

There have been many times in my life that I was fearful to do something I really wanted to do… and followed through to do it anyway because there was a goal, an accomplishment, a dream, an opportunity for learning, experiencing and growth on the other side of it.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve taken action in spite of fear.

I remember….

As a new legal assistant, when I was first called into the attorney’s office to “take a letter”, (back in the days when shorthand was how things were done), I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be able to keep up.

As a newly licensed real estate agent, when I signed my first listing agreement back in the days of my real estate career, I was fearful that all the things that could go wrong, would go wrong and somehow I would be to blame.

When I got my first buyer and wrote my first contract for the sale of a home, although I had practiced in the classroom, I was dealing with this person’s biggest asset and boy was I fearful that I would do something wrong and it would hurt them.

When I was asked to do trainings for foster parents and social workers about how to make lifebooks for kids in care, I was fearful that I would be perceived as the amateur with no college degree teaching those who did have the degree.  

When I was asked to host a company call for one of my network marketing companies, I felt the blood and life drain from my face as they were announcing my name.  I thought I was going to faint.  I literally had to put a damp cool washcloth on my face which I had next to me because I knew I’d need it.  I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing.

When I was asked to be a coachI was afraid to let people down.

When I first hosted my own webinars, I was fearful of many things…

1)  nobody to back me up of I really stumbled on my words.
2)  what if the microphone didn’t work?
3)  what if people couldn’t see my screen?
4)  what if someone asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to?

I mean to tell you, I was a basket case!

When I was first asked to speak on stage at an event and share my story, I was fearful about…

1)  Who wants to hear a middle aged, overweight woman?
2)  Who cares about my story?
3)  What if I forgot my own story because I was nervous!?
4)  What if I ran over… or too short.. time wise?

But I said yes anyway…

“ANYWAY” being the key word here

Here’s what I do when I have feelings of fear.

1)  Recognize how I’m feeling.  Acknowledge it.  I say “Ok, I feel you but I’m not going to allow you to hold me back, the show will go on.” 

2)  Find feelings of being grateful for the opportunity to go through the experience.  Most often when I do this, I get more excited about what I’m doing.  It’s magical.

3)  Understand that whatever I’m fearful of, is my imagination.  The things that I am worried about are made up in my mind, stories I’m believing about myself that aren’t true and turn the focus off of me.

4)  Focus on how I can serve others.  Whatever I’m doing is not about me.  It’s about those who are listening.  How can I inspire them, help the with a breakthrough, with ideas, with solutions, and give them hope.  

This ALWAYS puts me at ease and a great level of comfort!  This is really my super, duper, number 1 thing I focus on.  And boy does it work to settle those butterflies down!  

5)  I recognize during these times of fear that I’m growing and the more I grow, the more I stretch and get out of my comfort zone, the more I can serve others which in turn elevates my income.

6)  I also remind myself that whatever fear I’m experiencing, I’d rather go through this than work a job, work for a boss, be slave to the 9-5.  That’s not an option.  So I gladly go through whatever I have to go through so I never have to punch a clock!

I hope hearing how I hand fearful situations helps you put your own fears in perspective.  Try these ways of assessing and thinking and see how it feels.  I bet you’ll be surprised at how you end up feeling.  

You’re awesome!  You’re brave!  You can do whatever you say you can!

Let me know how I can serve you…. 

To Your “No Boss” Lifestyle…