Does Your Health and Happiness Depend on Flat Abs and Amazing Sex?

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Do Flat Abs and Sizzling Sex Equate to a Happy Life?

How many magazine covers have you seen that look just like that one? Do a Google search for ‘Flat Abs’ or ‘Amazing Sex‘ and look at all the magazines that come up.

Apparently, those two subject lines have been done to death. But that doesn’t seem to stop them from being recycled every month in one magazine or another. I wonder if we were able to translate cave drawings would we find something like ”Grog make flat tummy. Grog make girl Grog shriek with joy.”

And people keep buying these magazines. Buying the lies. Lies we’re told will make us happy, complete. I’ve had six-pack abs (past tense) and been fortunate enough to experience some pretty incredible sex. But neither of those things helped to develop me as a person. And neither of them made me any happier (well, not long term anyway) or made my life more gratifying.

I talk a lot about health and wellness on this blog. Don’t eat this, don’t do that. But being healthy isn’t just physical. It’s also a state of mind. No, you can’t will yourself to be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy mindset. Believing flat abs or great sex will make you happy isn’t a healthy mindset. It isn’t even realistic.

We are constantly in pursuit of the notion that “I will be happy when . . .”

. . . I have a new car

. . . I have a new job

. . . I have more money

. . . I lose 5 pounds

Why can’t we be happy now? Why can’t we stop, look around, appreciate everything we have, all we have going for us, all the incredible people we have in our life and be happy now?!

Here’s a head’s up . . . if you’re reading this, your life is already pretty amazing. It means you have electricity . . . a roof over your head . . . a computer . . . an internet connection . . . oh yeah, and the ability to read!

Yes, life has it’s ups and downs. It can beat us up and even kick us around. Things don’t always go the way we hope and we get hurt, angry, frustrated . . . but it’s not healthy to focus on that. Remember this, you are alive. And a LOT of people have it far worse than you!!

And because you are alive, anything is possible!

8 Ways to Improve Your Life without Flat Abs or Great Sex!

1) Stop believing your own crap.

All that stuff you tell yourself about how you are a commitment phobe or a coward or lazy or not creative or unlucky? Stop it. It’s crap, and deep down you know it. We are all insecure 14 year olds at heart. We’re all scared. We all have dreams inside of us that we’ve tucked away because somewhere along the line we tacked on those ideas about who we are that buried that essential brilliant, childlike sense of wonder. The more we stick to these scripts about who we are, the longer we live a fraction of the life we could be living. Let it go. Be who you are beneath the bullshit.

2) Be happy . . . now.

Not because The Secret says so. Not because of some shiny happy Oprah crap. But because we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack. It’s a small, significant shift in perspective. It’s easier to look at what’s wrong or missing in our lives and believe that is the big picture — but it isn’t. We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone.

3) Marvel at the stars.

It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe. Do it often — it helps.

4) Open up.

Truly. Tell people that you trust when you need help, or you’re depressed — or you’re happy and you want to share it with them. Acknowledge that you care about them and let yourself feel it. Instead of doing that other thing we sometimes do, which is to play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, and only open up half way. Go all in — it’s worth it.

5) Enough with the crazy.

Life is full of obstacles; we don’t need to create extra ones. Don’t take things personally. Most of the time, other people’s choices and attitudes have absolutely nothing to do with you. Unless you’ve been behaving like a jerk, in which case . . .

6) Learn to apologize.

Not the ridiculous, self-deprecating apologizing for who you are and for existing that some people seem to do. The ability to sincerely apologize — without ever interjecting the word “but” — is an essential skill for living around other human beings. If you are going to be around other people, eventually you will need to apologize. It’s an important practice.

7) Practice gratitude.

Practice it out loud to the people around you. Practice it silently. Practice it often. Gratitude is not a first world only virtue. Watch how a child’s face completely lights up with joy and gratitude from something as simple as a hula hoop. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe; as I mentioned with looking up at the stars, it’s that sense of wonder and humility, contrasted with celebrating our connection to all of life.

8) Be kind.

Kurt Vonnegut said it best: “There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’” Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. I can’t save the whole world. I can’t bring peace to Syria. I can’t fix the environment or the health care system.

But I can be kind. And so can you. If the biggest thing we do in life is to extend love and kindness to even one other human being, we have changed the world for the better.

That’s a hell of a lot more important than sex or flat abs. Don’t you agree? [ But sex is still fun ]

SOURCE: HuffingtonPost

Does Being Happy Require Money?

The knee jerk answer might be YES, but that’s really not true. I’ve seen people with far less money and material things than me that are very happy and content in their life.

But the one thing that money does offer: choices. That’s it. Money allows you more choices. Where to live, what to buy, where to vacation, where to send your kids to college. But as the old adage goes: “money doesn’t buy happiness”. Just like flat abs or lots of sex. They’re both fun to have, but in the end, they won’t fulfill you as a person.

More money simply means you can do more of what you want when you want. But if you’re a jerk, more money will only make you a rich jerk. If you’re kind and generous, more money will only make you more generous. It amplifies what you already are.

But if you’re in the market for some extra money . . .

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