The time I’ve “wasted” hasn’t been wasted

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Sometimes I get discouraged when I look back at my life and recall the many phases that seem wasted, but as I grow older I notice that those phases weren’t as wasted as I may first assume.

Today is a good example. With just my brother and I living on the farm now, I’ve taken on the responsibilities my mother had. It’s a tedious role, and in today’s profit-and-career-oriented society it involves many duties that may seem like a waste of time and even counterintuitive.

At a time in my life when I’m trying to find all the work I can and save up money, I have to do things that not only take away from time I could spend making money, but that also take away money from my bank account; things like going grocery shopping, buying household necessities. Our culture gives so much credit to the breadwinner that we forget the value of the breadfetcher.

The need for a partner in life becomes apparent when trying to run an entire house on your own. As I was picking up groceries for my brother and I at Walmart today, I couldn’t help but think of how much better it would be if there was someone off at work making money for the household as I was spending it. Or, oftentimes when I’m working all day I’m thinking ‘how the heck am I also going to get done all of the errands I need to get done for the house?’.

So as I look back at especially the past five years, I notice that it seems I’ve wasted a great deal of time, but as I think about it a little more I notice that my past five years have simply been spent trying to learn how to make it on my own and, now and then, help provide for others. It’s a long learning process that can only be learned by trial and error.

They used to teach home economics in high school, but I never got the class. The importance of domestic management is easily forgotten today. I believe this is because the value of family is also not understood. If we understood why the family structure is the backbone of every society, we would better notice how important it is to have everything in a household run smoothly. Most domestic disputes start with some simple problem with the house, whether it be a broken appliance, an unbalanced budget or just a messy kitchen.

So this week I worked at that grunt work job on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I worked at the farm. On Monday I helped remove sheetrock from an apartment. On Tuesday I cleaned out two work trucks. On Wednesday I began cutting down a tree that fell down in the back yard, until the chain fell off my chainsaw. Then I spent about four hours trying to fix it myself. Wednesday evening I went to a planning board meeting for freelance work. Thursday I sent the chainsaw to a repairman who fixed it for ten bucks. Then I got back to cutting the tree up again. I got most of the tree out of the yard before the chain fell off again. But this time it broke so I had to buy a new one that will take at least a week to be delivered. In the evening I went to Panera Bread to work on a story from Wednesday’s meeting (I needed public wifi since we didn’t pay our cable bill).

On Friday I switched the cable account to my name, worked a little more on the planning board story, and mowed the lawns.

The past five years have been similar to this week in a few ways. First, they’ve been a mixture of work that makes me money and work around the farm that actually costs money in one way or another. Also, the past five years have been filled with so many random, unexpected, sporatic happenings that it’s hard to make sense of it all.

But if I take a closer look I think I’d notice that I’ve spent the time fairly well, even though I haven’t accomplished anything worth mentioning. But so what. The greatest life isn’t the one with the most accomplishments. Rather, the greatest accomplishment is getting the most out of life.