How to Get Your Life Back on Track in 2013
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
2013 is gonna be the best year ever! Or wait, was that 2012? 2011? Aren’t you’re tired of failing to achieve your goals for the year, and feeling beat-down as your life falls short of your expectations you’ve set? If so, maybe it’s time for real change: I mean, the kind that can get your life back on track in 2013 and beyond, once and for all.
Over the years, the 1st part of the new year has become a watered-down tradition full of resolutions carrying as much significance to the big picture as your first crush in kindergarten. 
Maybe this is the year that you’re gonna finally quit smoking. Or maybe, this is the year that you break through in your network marketing business. MAYBE, this is the year that you find that man or woman worth taking home to mama. Hey, I’m right there with ya. In fact, let me share with you how badly I feel your pain…
At the end of 2010, my NYR (new year’s resolution) was to open five more DJ offices, and to lose 30 lbs. Oh, and I also wanted to lose 50 lbs. I didn’t open 5 more offices, didn’t lose any weight overall, and didn’t get married. Now, as 2012 comes to an end, they want me to make more resolutions? Well, I did, but not the kind I’d been used to… I’ll get to that in a bit, but do ya get the picture?
Why our New Year’s Resolutions Fail
I promise not to be overly-philosophical in this post, but I do want to provide you with four main reasons why we fall short of our goals, and thus feel disappointed and unfulfilled at the end of the year.
- we have the wrong philosophies
- we’re not having fun
- we’ve yet to harness an understanding of the conscious vs sub-conscious mind battle
- our lives are out of balance
I’m no slouch- I pride myself on goal-setting and goal-achieving. I’ve been a business owner since I was 19 years old, and I’ve done well. My resume says that I’ve got qualities that Fortune 500 companies would enjoy utilizing. But for years, this NYR thing has been killing my mojo and blurring my dreams, vision and life purpose. Please allow me to explain.
The Wrong Philosophies
I once heard a mentor tell me that each person’s life is a direct reflection of the decisions that have been made over the past 5 years or so. I admit, I probably forgot about this statement, because it serves very little purpose in pumping up one’s ego. But what if this is true? You didn’t just get wealthy this year (unless you one the lottery, at which point I may suggest that you’ve been playing the lottery for years, perfecting your guesstimations!). You didn’t just “lose everything”, financially this year. You probably have been making risky financial decisions for a while, and they just finally caught up to you. You didn’t just put on 25 lbs last week- that’s the accumulation of poor eating habits over a longer period of time. You didn’t just have a bad relationship experience in one day. You and your partner have probably had bad relationship habits for some time, now. These things, good and bad, have happened over time. Jeff Olson was the first person that taught me the Slight Edge Philosophy (which Jim Rohn also talked about often). That philosophy suggests that it’s “the simple daily decisions, or errors in judgement, that in the process of doing them don’t seem to make much difference, but in the end, those positive or negative decisions make all of the difference between success and failure”.
Understanding this philosophy also suggests why people fail in their goals. How else can I explain verbally committing to losing 30 lbs in one calendar year, only to need to lose a total of 50 lbs the following year? Yes, I’ve tried cleanses (fruit and veggie, and master) with Terry Givens. (By the way, Terry is a nutrition genius that looks like he’s 22, but is almost 40! Check out his blog here). The cleanses worked, and I’ve lost as much as 17 lbs in 8 days. But, because of my lack of good philosophy regarding nutrition (I didn’t follow Terry’s instructions very well), I gained it all right back.
What am I saying here? If you’ve been doing wrong for 5 years, don’t expect everything to change in 5 days. You’re better off adjusting your philosophies than you are to attempt a complete overhaul of actions. Without this, you are guaranteed to fall into the #2 reason.
You’re Not Having Fun
Another mentor of mine shared his belief that if you’re not having fun, you can’t stick around long enough to win. This one’s for those of you that have found too much stress, or can’t find happiness in your work or relationship (or even your diet). Undoubtedly, you are staying the course because you are hoping things will change for the better. Unfortunately, your attitude will begin to wane from unhappiness, until your actions begin to reflect this poorer attitude. Once that happens, you are highly unlikely to become your own road block to your positive changes.
I’m not suggesting that you only do things that are fun. That would be highly irresponsible. I am suggesting that you find ways to make things fun, even if that means implementing some different standards of fun.
Unconscious vs Sub-Conscious Mind Battle
Has your head popped off yet? I’m telling you, it’s worth it to hold off on your resolutions for a few more days, understand these reasons/thoughts/philosophies before you commit again to the same ole, same ole. 
Facebook is the easiest place to go to determine if somebody is truly happy or not. It’s around this time of year that you can see a lot of people doing soul-searching (publicly, I might add) over some very serious issues that they’d like to address this year. When I learned about this inner battle (just earlier this year), I was in the middle of my own inner crisis. I’d come to the point where I was contemplating scrapping yet another plan for my life, and going in a completely different direction. When I heard Rob Fore, Internet guru and SEO specialist, speak on this subject at an Empower Network conference here in San Diego, I committed to spending some time to re-evaluate my life’s purpose and direction before I would commit to any more goals. I needed to understand why I keep sabotaging my own efforts towards freedom, success and happiness. The bottom line, as he explained, has to do with the inner battle of the conscious and subconscious minds. He suggested that the conscious mind is the one that helps us to create our goals (new years resolutions or otherwise), with eager anticipation in mind. Inside, however, the subconscious mind is in what we call “survival”, or “protective” mode.
A good example of this:
A friend of mine was sharing with me her goals for her network marketing business. She had all of the tools to become uber-successful in this business, but she always seemed to do something to stall her progress. As we spoke about this, she shared that while she wanted the money, and wanted the freedom, there was still something inside (her subconscious mind- even though we didn’t realize it at the time) that made her nervous. With some more digging, she discovered that the anxiety came from the belief that her family would harass her, beg for money, and make her uncomfortable if she was overly wealthy. She was never going to make the money she “desired”, because inside she was afraid of what she “desired”. Until she addresses this internal contradiction, she’ll be stuck. And by the way, the longer we go without hitting our goals, the more we begin to doubt ourselves and lose our mojo. Fore offers his opinion on how to conquer this battle. I’m sure others have their own suggestions. The most important thing, from my perspective, is that you understand what is causing the inner battle so that you no longer sabotage yourself. Sound good?
Our Lives are Out of Balance
I saved the best for last, in my opinion. All of these things played into my new philosophy for 2013, but this one tied everything together! But first, a quick story.
Towards the end of 2007, I was drowning. I didn’t show much outwardly, but I was. I was living in a million dollar home in a wealthy part of Southeast San Diego. I was running my own business, and I was doing relatively well in my network marketing business. But, between these two businesses, I didn’t have much time for anything else. My friends doubled as business partners. My family was across the country, and I was feeling the detachment more and more each year. I had no significant intimate relationship to speak of- just loneliness. It was around this time that I was first introduced to the concept of the Wheel of Life. You can learn more about it in this link, but for sake of continuity, I will just share that the Wheel of Life has more to do with focus than with setting quantitative goals. I’m not suggesting for you to not set goals, but I am suggesting that this was maybe the best learning to ever happen to me. 
The voids that I was experiencing in my relationship areas were all because most of my focus was on my career and finances. Those areas of life were going well. That year, after doing the exercise, I decided that I would devote more focus in 2008 on my relationships, and maybe a little less focus on the career. No goals. No quotas. But, my focus would be on balancing these areas of my life. It just so happens that only 3 months into 2008, I found my life partner and love of my life. (results may vary). Since that exercise, I’ve made it a point to be in communication with my family back in Ohio at least 2 or 3 times every week.
Unfortunately, after 5 years, it seems like I’ve become unbalanced again. Hey, it happens to us all. So instead of setting (un)realistic resolutions for the new year, I’ve decided to go back to the drawing board. This is truly the meaning of the phrase, “life is what you make it”. I’ve set my focus on two areas that I plan to see progressions this year, and one area that I am going to remove some focus. I’m seeking a more balanced life this year and beyond, and you can too.
2013 Can Be Your Best Year Yet
The Wheel of Life is a simplified way of examining all facets or roles in our lives, and determining where we feel fulfilled, and where we could use some filling. the suggestion is that we operate better overall when our lives are in balance. Example: I know you’ve heard of the wildly successful businessman or woman that is great at work, but has no quality of life outside of work because work requires all of the attention. Maybe you’ve seen somebody that is completely into their faith or religion, and has subsequently been behind in finance. Balance is very difficult to achieve without focus, and this year, instead of goals, I decided to focus instead.
This different thought process and focus has given me permanent freedom from the disagreeable burden of transformation pressure. It’s not a cop-out from setting goals. But it can help you build your confidence back as you see progression, until you get your mojo back! And yes, it’s true. 2013 can be your best year yet, with just a simple tweak of philosophy. Visit the WheelofLifeWorksheet to have your own try at the Wheel of Life. Just simply follow the instructions. Take some true time to yourself, and pray on it if you need to. But most importantly, make sure your goals and plans for the new year are in line with your overall life design and purpose. Remember, philosophies and balance are the best ways to get over that hump- Let’s do it together!
Cheers!
AJ
PS: If one of your focus’ for 2013 happens to be health, I highly recommend Terry’s Reset Challenge
PSS: If one of your focus’ for 2013 happens to be finance, I highly recommend checking out what we’re doing here at Empower Network.