Your spouse’s mirror
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
What did you do the last time your spouse hurt your feelings? You know, when they made a sarcastic remark , or they cut you off while you were talking? Or maybe they yelled, so in defense you yelled back too! This can bring you to the intersection of hurt ego, and hard-headed!
At one point early in my marriage I remember counting in my head the number of breaths my husband had taken while speaking. Instead of listening to anything he was saying, I became more annoyed at the very breath he took! Not a good place to be in at all, so I immediately excused myself to be alone and call my best friend.
Even though she is my best friend, she is always good at being objective in my marriage. After telling her the absolute truth (my side of course), she asked me to look at the scenario from his standpoint, for just a moment to consider where he was coming from. I was really livid this day, and was now almost annoyed withe her because I knew she was right. I knew she was telling me the truth.
She suggested that I look at him for a moment as the child God created, and not this man in the moment. In this moment apparently, he really is from Mars and I from Venus, and he can not understand anything I am saying. Then a few moments later, it hit me that I was making “this” all about me and my needs. That feeling really sucked, just like it sounds.
This also was a great reminder, that not only is my spouse a creation of God’s, but we have been united as one (and I’m pretty sure God is waiting to see how I handle my other half). Whoa, I know…pretty heavy stuff, but that is the reality. It made me pause and look at our wedding picture and really the fun weddings are about when celebrating with friends and family. Watch this for some inspiration.
What a great inspiration to remind me to see my spouse with a light heart! That is really the role of your guests (okay, maybe only a handful); to help you remember the reason why you got married to begin with and the promises that you made. Plus, within 24 hours it usually never seems that big of an issue, let alone splitting up!
Very important note, be careful who you counsel with regarding your marriage. Plain English? Agree who you go to in advance to share your problems or seek advice from. Example, you may not want to get marital advice from your aunt who has been married four times, no matter how much she loves your spouse! You have to know that whom ever you do chose has your marriage as the objective, and not either of you “winning” to maintain the relationship. However in the end, you both have to make it okay to possibly just agree to disagree and focus on what is truly important.
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