What Is Insecurity?

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

At times, you may experience many insecurities concerning your physical appearance.  There can be many insecurities and it could be easy to forget the special and unique person you are.  Believe it or not, feeling insecure at times is common and is a normal part of growing up.  The problem for many people, however, is when they become so focused on their outward appearance, they neglect to build their moral character.

Am I Insecure… what is insecurity?

Many people, especially between the ages of eleven to fifteen, suffer from what is commonly called an identity crisis.  Faced with society’s views based on beauty and attractiveness, people find themselves constantly trying to measure up to what is considered sexy and appealing.  Society’s standards are misleading and can lead to feelings of self-consciousness and self-criticism.  Physical traits, such as freckles or a wide mouth on someone who is self-conscious, can cause that individual to spend a great deal of time focusing on a perceived physical flaw.  One becomes self-critical when he or she begins to dislike their overall appearance because of the one physical trait that is perceived as a problem.

Am I Insecure… what is insecurity?

Don’t get the idea that as men and women you should not be concerned about your physical appearance.  Everyone should want to look his or her very best, but it would be wise to understand there are some things about your appearance you may not be able to change.  It is important, though, to keep in mind that being beautiful or handsome are not all that matters.

So, if you have some physical characteristics that you cannot change, for example, the shape of your nose, your height or the sound of your voice, you can still make the best of who you are.  You are more than just your physical appearance.  What really counts more than your appearance, is what you become within your mind, your character and what you choose to be.

In the meantime, be diligent to continue to work on the inside just as diligently as you work on improving your outward appearance.  It is who you are inside that really affects how people see you on the outside.  Make choices that will continue to build your positive moral character because if you focus only on the physical traits that you cannot change, it can cloud your ability to see and appreciate all the great things about yourself.  This could result in depression and could seriously interfere with your ability to interact in meaningful ways with those around you.  In other words, you can become a social recluse, or introvert and shy away from activities that you would ordinarily take part in.

In addition, there are many physical changes that you have experienced that were not within your power to control.  That is, you cannot change the size of your feet, but there are many things that you can change and you do have control over.  For example, you may not be able to control your height, but you can control the choices you make.

Am I Insecure… what is insecurity?

Keep in mind that just because something is not within your control at this point in your life doesn’t mean it will always be that way.  Focus on the things you can control, like your attitude, instead of worrying about the things you have no control over.  Developing the moral character traits of patience and thankfulness can really help you at this stage in your life.  Keep in mind that you will not be at this stage forever.  Focus on educating yourself in moral development to achieve your highest potential.  The awkward stages will pass, so be patient with yourself.  In addition to this, don’t forget to be thankful for all your many positive attributes.

Last, but not least, remember you are not the first person in the world to go through this stage in life and you will not be the last.  Don’t let it get you down.  This can be a wonderful time in your life that you will be able to look back on and remember the joy of learning to build your character.

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