How Do You Stop Criticizing Others?

Not Criticizing Others Can Be A Challenge

Where does criticism come from?  Our parents and authority figures would have played a major part in that when we were children and young adults, they would notice all the things that were wrong and that we shouldn’t be doing like….. not cleaning our rooms, not doing our homework, staying on the computer too long, having music too loud, staying out late, talking on the phone too long, snacking just before dinner etc.

They, of course were doing the best they could under the circumstances that they were brought up in and with the knowledge that they had at that time. If we didn’t receive positive reinforcement for the good things we did, it is no wonder we have turned into adults who waste a lot of energy criticizing others!

Criticizing others can be a dangerous game…. critical people will often attract a lot of criticism back to themselves because that is the energy they are putting out there.

Some people have become so used to criticizing others that it has become a habit. They tend to have low self esteem and feel inferior and this is their only chance to feel superior and feel better about themselves.

If you are criticizing others to their face, it will rarely have a positive effect…. the people you are criticizing will inevitably feel bad about themselves and go on the defensive.

Remember also, when you are criticizing others inwardly, it has absolutely no affect on them, only on YOU! You become negative and attract more of the same in your life and you rob yourself of happiness.

“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” – Unknown

Ways To Stop Criticizing Others

1. Try to see things from the other persons perspective….get an understanding of why they act in a certain way…. if you had been in a similar situation, do you think that you may have possibly behaved in the same way?

2. Consider all the mistakes you have made in the past…. who are you to judge? Realize that not one of us is perfect and you may not necessarily know what this person has been through to make them they way they are.

3. Start working on yourself first….. have self-control, tolerance and patience as it will prove to be character-building.

4. A good strategy to use is to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship…. it is much more effective to praise someone and elevate them than to tear them down with criticism.

5. Have courage and find it in yourself to forgive them for what has happened so you can both move on.

You need to accept yourself as you are, warts and all, also others for who they are and you will develop empathy and compassion and you will find that the things you were criticizing others for don’t seem to worry you any more.

Everyone should be able to make their own choices whether we agree with them or not!

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”- Dale Carnegie