When friendships are Complete

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

When friendships are Complete

In life its inevitable that we will be let down by people, whatever your situation . We get

hurt in various relationships, partners family, friends – colleagues, strangers. Some of us

are more sensitive than others. However like anything in life, its the way we handle these

things that matter. However, when you understand this,  When friendships are Complete, it makes it so much easier.

When friendships are Complete

I am one of those people who used to be incredibly hurt by what people said or did, as I

have got older I have grown a ‘thicker’ skin and as I have grown by immersing myself in

personal development, its Really helped me and it can help you too.  After all we can’t

please everyone and not everyone is going to please us.

I was very lucky to gain some wonderful insight from an interview with Lisa Nichols, as

well as reading her book ‘No Matter What’.

At the time of reading it and indeed now, I am a single parent so a lot of what she said

really resonated with me and it will whether you are a single parent or not.

When friendships are Complete

I was actually inspired to write this article when I it happened to me a few years ago and

also today when I saw another blog post about friendships and how friends can let you

down.

Not all relationships are made to last, some last a few weeks, others a few months, others a

few years and some a life time. Instead of being upset, hurt that a friendship is no longer

what it was, see it that the relationship is ‘complete’ – that that person was in your life for

a reason and now that time has passed. I cannot tell you how liberating this has been for

me.

When friendships are Complete

Between Lisa Nichols’s interview and book, No Matter What and my own personal

development journey, I have learnt soo much I can’t begin to tell you.

So – My story, a few years ago – I spoke up about something that I believed in, I’m someone

who believes in treating people how you would like to be treated, so I repeated something

that didn’t go down so well.

I didn’t realise just how badly it gone done until the Xmas

when I didn’t hear from ‘my friends’, and then I started to see photos on Facebook of some

of ‘my friends’ having a night out without me.  It really hurt me at the time.  I take

complete responsibility for my part in this – I had spoken up and speaking up is not

popular with some people but for me, and I still feel this way it was the Right thing to do.

So I spent a wee while on my own, nursing my wounds, and I spoke to other friends, some

who said they wouldn’t have done what I did, and others who told me ‘the messenger

always gets shot’. Suffice to say I picked myself up again and started to get on with my life.

When friendships are Complete

So when you think a relationship is complete – you can continue being a friend to that

person , but change your perception of that relationship. Its completely your choice

whether you continue to go out of your way for that person. You could think well Im doing

the right thing by being there for them, regardless of whether they are still going to be

there for you’– there is no right or wrong answer – its completely up to you and what you

feel comfortable with.

When friendships are Complete

So savour the memories you have with that person , appreciate and be grateful that you

had that wonderful friend in your life – remember the old phrase ‘be glad it happened, not

sad its over’.  This is a great lesson to teach our children,  as Im sure your children have

experienced  times when they fall out with friends – so much easier on them when they can

see it this way ‘their friendship is complete’.

When friendships are Complete

So what happened to ‘my friends’.  Its been a few years now and no Im no longer friendly

with those friends, some I had known for 10 years – tough yes, but I always remember Lisa

Nichols quote. One of those friends had been a Really good friend to me at some of the

most toughest times in my life.  However, our friendship was complete. If someone can’t

love you for you – the way you are – then thats ok, let them go. There will be other friends

(new and old as I have found) that Love you for you.

Whilst its always great to have great friends, the person who has to love you the most HAS

TO BE YOU – at the end of the day, You are the only guarantee in life for yourself !!

The lesson I learnt and I can vouch for this.  I was not in a good place when I had some of

these friends, and they were there for me when I needed them, however I had grown and

was not that ‘person’ anymore – so it was ‘time’ for them to move on…..

Remember, its not what happens to you in life, it’s the way you handle it.So Remember

When friendships are Complete, its not the end of the world, just time to move on

and find more friendships.

When friendships are Complete 

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