Law of Attraction continued:Visiting a Prisoner Pt. 4

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

The Law of Attractioncontinued to compel me to see Chad in prison.  He had been in jail previously, and I was close enough to see him then, but I had no desire to do so.  When I found out he was in prison, the Spirit kept prompting me to see him.  Why not before?  Why did it have to be now?

I believe Deity has a hand in all things.  He knows our needs.  Prayers, spoken petitions and thoughts are all in the Law of Attraction.  I know that the power of faith is a literal energy that makes things come to pass, based on principles of righteousness.  Righteous desires are granted.  When Chad was in the city jail for so long, he wasn’t ready for help from God.  He explained to me in one of the visits we had that it took him falling to rock bottom to finally do what he has chosen to do. He chose prison over jail on his last arrest.

Chad’s parole board hearing came in November.  He had asked his relatives to write a letter to the board on his behalf.  I decided to do this.  The Chad I knew was a productive citizen, free of drugs and everything that accompanies it.  Mistakes do not need to define a person, and I knew Chad was trying to make the efforts to get on his feet and lead a good life again.  He had enough of homelessness, failure, drugs, and the non-productive life.  It was his time to show society that he could handle things again, if he had the right people around him.  Although he was in prison, he worked hard, using the power of attraction to bring positive energy around him. He prayed for someone with goodness in them to come to him.  He prayed us there.

I felt that prayer and acted on it. I was scared to death to go to the hearing.  I drive by that prison often and I have never had the desire to approach the ominous gates.  The tiger tooth wire is enough for me to just turn around and high tail it out of there!  When I got to the gate, the officer logged me in, gave me directions to where the parole board met.  My son had to drop me off, while he ran an errand.  I could not change my mind once he dropped me off. I was so nervous, causing me to forget some of the officer’s instructions.  I walked into another building outside of the prison and was given instructions that the parole board meetings are actually INSIDE the prison.  I liked that building better, so I thought I’d try that first.  I am sure that I was being watched the whole time that I was wandering around the grounds.  The initial officer said that if I got to the look-out tower I went too far.  That only left me with the big, ominous fence, with saber tooth tiger wiring at the top, I am sure that wire was set to a significant amount of voltage.

I stood at that gate for 5 minutes, not sure what to do.  There is a little button to push…pushed it.  Then the gate slowly creaked open, so I went through, then there was another.  It opened for me, so I knew there was someone watching at that point…I just felt so alone, yet there were eyes on me. It was confirmed when another officer took me to an empty waiting room and said, “Got lost, did ya?”  I can just imagine the radio and walkie-talkie conversations going on as I roamed from the nice building to the prison gates “crazy person roaming…she’s got a hoodie on, watch her closely.”  I admitted to the officer that I had been lost, indeed.  He just smiled kindly to me.  They are used to the nerves of the family members vouching for their loved-ones in prison.  All I could think about was how on earth I got to this point?  Why would I follow this feeling that I need to vouch for someone who screwed up so bad and hurt others and blew through millions?  As I sat in that desolate, dirty waiting area I really questioned my motives.  I had nothing.  I had no motive.  I just knew I was supposed to be there.  The officer told me that they changed Chad’s meeting, so I had 45 minutes in time-out to think about my own actions.

When I consulted with a friend who had been through some of these experiences of visiting a family member in prison, she referred to it as possibly a “project” of mine.  I thought about that reference of it being a project, and knew in my heart that it wasn’t that at all.  It was my duty to follow through on a distinct impression that I needed to begin this journey into being there for another human being.  It’s not a service project; it was just plain and simple that I was supposed to do this.  The reasons are unfolding with each month that we visit and associate with Chad. Thinking upon that, it gave me courage to go into the hearing.

I was brought into the room, which looked like a smaller court room.  I sat there quietly, shaking like a nervous dog who knows they are at the vet.  I had a few minutes to close my eyes and take myself to my “happy place”.  I sensed all kinds of beings in the prison, and they all wanted to talk to me, and I was not in the mood for the energy invasions that were taking place.  I had to concentrate on closing off all influences and zoned in on why I was there.  It calmed me a bit.  Just a bit.

Next, Chad entered, escorted by the officer who escorted me into the room.  I only recognized Chad’s eyes.  He was emaciated, and had aged more than the 20 years that I hadn’t seen him.  But he had a smile on his face when he looked at me and his eyes shown gratitude for my being there.  I was seated behind him, and he was instructed to not turn around to look at me or speak.

The parole board member reviewed his felonies in detail. I hadn’t been given all the details, so I was pretty shocked at the revelation of fraud and drug-related charges. It was a miracle this guy was alive. He had purposes to fulfill here on earth. Good purposes. Callings. Chad vocalized full responsibility for his actions.  He cried as he explained his good past of productivity and then making the worst decision of his life to experiment with meth and then the road that let him to Prison.  He showed his “drug tracks” on his arm, expressed deep regret for his felonious behavior and told the board that he felt his decision to enter the prison system was the best thing for him.

Chad wrote this in one of his letters, explaining his reason: I chose to come here because I was still battling my addiction out there. I could also take care of some warrants that I have in Idaho.

When he explained to the parole board the why’s for the fraud, I could not add up my emotions and make heads or tails out of them. They were a conglomeration of anger, sorrow, pity, frustration and resentment.  He had so much going for him, and he threw it all away!  Grief and sadness floated to the top of the pile of emotions.  I could not ignore compassion that day at the hearing.  I needed to dig deeper for compassion than I’ve ever had to before.  After all, he had hurt a lot of people and family that I personally knew, and he had NO right!

Concern for his future and welfare surfaced. I recalled my purpose for being there. The purpose of supporting another human who was trying hard to change.  I discovered that my presence was crucial in the process of the board deciding what his consequence would be.  They acknowledged my presence and letter that I had written on Chad’s behalf.  These character-defining moments for Chad and I were what was supposed to happen.  The Laws of Attraction were successful in this first poignant step of his restitution. This is what my Heavenly Father wanted me to do and I was in the right place.  I felt many emotions, and had to sort through the judgments I had made and put them aside.  I had to let go of the past and look toward the goal of not defining  a person due to the crime he committed.

Will he return to the crimes he did before?  Will I be a victim of it?  After all, according to Crime in America.net,

“Possibly one of the most significant studies on recidivism (defined for this report as a return to prison) was offered by the Pew Center on the States, Pew Safety Performance Project and released in April, 2011.

The study analyzed returns to prison for 33 states for those released in 1999 and 41 states for those released in 2004 making the study the most comprehensive analysis of returns to prison ever done.

The report compared earlier studies on recidivism conducted by the US Department of Justice for 15 states for releases in 1983 and 1994 and concluded that recidivism rates “have consistently remained around 40 percent.” California was excluded from this finding due to that state’s large percentage of the nation’s prison population and the fact that California’s rate of return to prison is traditionally high.

The report singles out three states, Oregon, Michigan and Missouri for lowering rates of return to prison.”

Source:  

So, the odds of him returning to crime are in his favor.  And maybe, by showing our (me and my husband’s) support, Chad might have a greater chance of restoring his life to productivity.

The board decided that after his sentence of 18 months total, he would be free and clear of this state’s felony charges, with the exception of the money he has to pay back.  He still has warrants in another state that he needs to take care of. He’s trying to do that within the time he has here in this prison.

After the meeting with the board ended, they gave him permission to turn around and speak.  I was instructed not to speak, so I didn’t. But I was grateful for the minute I got to see his gratitude in his eyes and hear him say thank you.

I knew it was going to be a long road for him.  Visiting him in prison, seeing the miracles, the remission of his desire to do drugs and steal gives me hope for Chad.  Through the energy of the law of attraction and principle of faith, I know things will work out for good. God wants that to happen for him, after all, he is a child of God, why wouldn’t he want Chad to succeed?