7 Tips for Improved Emotional Intelligence

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

I recently came across a nice article by Steve Evans talking about ways to improve your emotional health or emotional intelligence. I found this information so important especially nowadays that we are constantly pressured from everyday stressors ( job, family, children, economy, etc ) to be our very best.

Often times if our emotional health is not working for us, it will work against us….

So here are 7 tips to improve your Emotional Intelligence.

As stated by Steve Evans, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a greater indicator of success than IQ. Emotional Intelligence is the facility to be aware of one’s own feelings and those of other people and to act in a right way using these emotions. It contains the capacity to convey unhelpful feelings as a captive to the Lord so you can recover even deeper inner peace. You don’t need to be subjugated by your feelings; you can practice real sovereignty over them and live in the Spirit!

1. We are sovereigns over our own hearts. God is not in charge of your heart–you are. Everyone in this life has been permitted a realm of power where they get to apply God-given authority. Where can it be found? It is right there inside you! Your heart is the well spring of power. From its depths emerge all the true concerns of life. Your intellect will tell you what’s wrong, but if you never grasp the right way of ruling over your own heart, you be clobbered and conquered, rather than free.

2. We can in fact exercise sovereignty over our emotions, rather than be ruled by them. Left to itself your emotional state will normally override your truer self. You don’t have to take that lying down! You have the power of choice. In the event that you notice an emotion growing in you which you don’t want to have, you can decide to get rid of it. First, you will have to get the hang of how to work with your feelings.

3. Nobody can put an emotion in you and keep it there. Nobody else holds the key to what is in you–you do! You alone are permitted to choose what stays in and what has to go. Eventually you might even discover how to stop accepting emotions that you don’t wish to have. This is vital to appreciate because if you blame other people or your problems for what you are feeling, you will never get free. God has made it this way to make sure that no one could have dominion over your inner emotional state. That is between you and the Lord.

4. You should not coerce your feelings or be oblivious to them. Taking responsibility over your emotional state doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to things in you which you wish weren’t there. You will need to truthfully recognize what you are feeling and then do the right thing with that feeling. It never helps to ignore your feelings and imagine they aren’t there. They will typically grow sneakier that way and overturn you later. Nor is it right to bulldoze your feelings and try to subjugate them in your own strength. How can you fight yourself and expect to win?

5. Pay attention to your feelings, but don’t put stock in what they tell you. Feelings are notorious falsifiers! All negative emotions are being untruthful to you–every time they make an appearance. Dread wants you to be scared, or at least distressed, but Jesus says, “Fear not.” Who is deceiving? Wounded feelings want you to remain resentful of someone, but Jesus says, ” Give it to Me.” Who is lying? Shame says you’re contemptible, but the Lord says ” You’re Mine.” Who is deceiving? Always renounce the message of negative emotional states, but keep in mind: Even positive feelings will mislead you at times.

6. Your deepest beliefs govern your emotions. Feelings don’t come down on us without a cause. They surge forth out of “truths” that we passionately believe in our very depths. Many of these things are not at all in accordance with the whole truth, but due to the fact that we continue to believe them, we continue to feel them. These were unchristian understandings we “learned” deep inside in our earliest years–without the Word and the Spirit to show us in God’s way. That past programming will keep our emotional life captive unless we decide to fight back!

7. Freedom comes through a truth encounter, not a will power competition. The scriptures say to grasp those wrong beliefs at the center of our emotions and haul them as slaves to Jesus. Raise your feelings up to the truth of Christ and choose to trust what He tells you to believe and do what He says to do with your feelings. What you actually believe and therefore what you feel is between you and God. No one, not even God, can alter your emotions or your beliefs without your consent.

On any occasion you realize your inward state is losing peace, don’t be apathetic like a chain store “dummy.” Utilize your “emotional intelligence” by carting every adverse emotion (that seeks to tyrannize you) imprisoned to Christ and be refreshed with boldness, peace and joy–His emotional life. Your new life in Christ is His life in you!