My “Seeing” How To Do Life

Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.

Nurse Penelope (Lila, really and not so Ratchety), was so clearly a perfectionist.  I had barely met her and found myself saying to her:  “Are you a perfectionist?”.  The woman had to be within five years, one side or the other of my age, so no young cluck, and she very pridefully said back, “yes, I am”.

Never having been the most disciplined of humankind, I said, “How well does that work for you?”  Interestingly, she commented, “very well”.  As a strong aside perfectionism does NOT work all that well, except in a very narrow definition that is so subjective all the rest of us can do is shake our heads.  (There’s even conversation fodder about Lance Armstrong and what caused him to continue to lie and bully and strive to keep secret that he was doing what he kept saying he was not.  Who could miss that he had perfectionist traits?)

She did have a well thought out twist to it referencing how much longer it would take for anyone to notice any oncoming Alzheimer symptoms since she did things the same way for so long.

Now, why did I subject you to this experience?

I’ve been working, diligently to save my vision, the last three days.  Or, so I thought.  So, I think!  Every time I notice a huge black floater waft across my field of vision, I’m ready to hyperventilate.  Not really.  I don’t think I learned to do that very well.  But, I do get into very worrisome thoughts.

You see, I finally said something to someone about some alarming symptoms I was experiencing in my left eye.  Fortuitously (for me), her mother had had to deal with a retinal detachment and she immediately recognized I was describing similar symptoms.

“Hang up the phone and call an ophthalmologist NOW,” she said.  She’s not at all a drama queen and she did not even raise her voice in the slightest.  It’s just that urgency drove through the phone line.  She remembered having the name and number of someone whose office I could call so I took that and walked weakly toward the house.

I have a powerful aversion towards doctors and all aspects of the medical profession and so had avoided even asking her questions and certainly was not eager in any way to place a phone call that might well alter my life.

There is more, but I shall have to take a few deep breaths.