Does Size Matter?
Restored from the Empower Network archive (2011–2017), lightly edited to meet our current advertising standards. Views are the original author’s.
Someone wrote me, “How large does a guy have to be to make a woman happy?”
In the West, we are obsessed with the size of the male organ (lingam). In the East, an equal emphasis is placed on the size of the vagina (yoni). So if the question is, “Does size matter?” my answer would be, “It depends on whose size we are talking about.” Talking about the size of the yoni is taboo, but I hope we can change all that.
For good sex, it would be great that the lingam and yoni have a perfect fit. A small lingam in a generous yoni will not feel like much to either partner. A large lingam in a small yoni may not be conducive to prolonged sexual encounters. But there are ways to achieve a mind-boggling, ecstatic, potentially life-changing sexual experience!
Ideally, we find the perfect match. The lingam and yoni have reflexology zones that correspond to each other, and when the zones in the lingam match up to in the yoni, (i.e. heart to heart, lung to lung, etc) the experience can be unbelievable. But, more importantly, we should match up mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well.
No, it’s not that easy to find our life partner or our sexual counterpart, but there are other alternatives, short of looking for another partner. Women, we can do exercises to strengthen our internal muscles to create a tighter fit. Men can learn to make the a lasting impression by lasting long enough to give his woman multiple orgasms. The point is, both men and women are equally responsible for a memorable encounter…and size DOES matter. Both of their sizes.
People go to the gym to work out their external muscles but people seldom work on their internal muscularity. Rather than worry about size, the male should learn to control his ejaculation, thereby giving hours of pleasuring the woman. By learning to control his ejaculatory impulses, a man can give his goddess a prolonged pleasure and depth of intimacy. A man who has control can give his woman more time to achieve orgasms– multiple orgasms.
But the woman has to be “in shape” mentally, physically and emotionally to experience full bodied orgasms. Women should also have strong internal muscularity. Weak, tired or stretched out muscles need to be exercised and toned. The thing is it can be done, so there is really no excuse for complacency or laziness. Both partners must be responsible for their own sexuality.
No matter what I say, I know that men are still concerned with their “size”…and this is what I have to say. If you are less endowed it is important that you focus on your skills in other areas. Prolonged foreplay, for example. Or learning the art of cunninglitus…worshipping the woman’s yoni for a good 20 minutes or more. Practice that art. This is an area of lovemaking overlooked and underevaluated by men. She would prefer the stroking of a masterful tongue for a long period of time than a large lingam jack hammering for 10 seconds. I would recommend tantric exercises for both sexes. It really can do wonders, but you really have to do it consistently. If you are lazy, well everything else will be lazy too.
Work together and coach each other, practice the art. It is a skill that must be practiced. You will both be very pleased with the results. Climaxing is not the goal. It is so sweet to be able to show and share a loving space without having to have an orgasm each time. More importantly, this practice will result in a deeper intimacy as you open up to each other’s needs, guiding each other, teaching, sharing and exploring ways to enhance your love, your caring, your relationship. There is no place for inhibitions or uneasiness in any loving space of intimacy. Here there can be only room for trust, honor and respect.
In Love, Bliss and Passion,
Chandi Devi