Just so you all know right up front:<\/p>\n
I got lupus for the lupus jokes.<\/p>\n
You see, I figured, If I had lupus, then I could tell lupus jokes and no one would be offended because I HAVE lupus.<\/p>\n
In hind sight this may have been a bad move. I probably should have done a little more research because, as it turns out, there just aren\u2019t very many\u2026like NONE<\/em> that I could find anyway. I did find a lupus site where the intent was to lighten the load and some guy uploaded some really really funny jokes. They weren\u2019t lupus jokes, but they were damn funny!!! And the only response he got was from some lady that said \u201cDo you even HAVE<\/em> lupus?\u201d<\/p>\n Jeez Grumpy! People with autoimmune diseases are so touchy! Oh yeah, touchy people, chill out about the title. I KNOW you can\u2019t CATCH lupus. I just did that to get people\u2019s jockeys in a wad. I find that this whole world is WAY WAY too touchy about EVERYTHING.<\/p>\n Like the whole Chik-Fil-A stupidity. The media totally plays on people\u2019s sensitivities and not because they care!! It\u2019s for ratings and that is all.<\/p>\n Ask yourselves these questions:<\/p>\n Are Chik-Fil-A\u2019s actions going to somehow weaken the LGBT community?<\/p>\n No. Because anti-LGBT is nothing new. Especially not during an election year.<\/p>\n Will it strengthen it?<\/p>\n You bet!<\/p>\n Will the masses stop going to to Chik-Fil-A?<\/p>\n Nope.<\/p>\n Are Chick-Fil-A\u2019s actions as stupid and pointless as Rush Limbaugh?<\/p>\n Yep.<\/p>\n Is that stupidity of epic proportions?<\/p>\n Yep.<\/p>\n Did I just use Chik-Fil-A to highlight how stupid I think Rush Limbaugh is?<\/p>\n Yep.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n I think the question should be: Why ever not?<\/p>\n \u2014-<\/p>\n Okay, so back to Catching Lupus for the Lupus jokes.<\/span><\/p>\n I\u2019m thinking, given the apparent touchiness of those of us who have some funky Autoimmune disease or another and the lack of existing jokes, I probably should have just switched religions again instead. I was Catholic\u2026but those jokes ran dry. I mean there are only so many variations on A Priest a Rabbi and an\u00a0Atheist\u00a0go golfing, before it gets really old. \u00a0Then I tried Protestantism\u2026but those jokes are pretty much the same as the Catholic jokes\u2026only minus the guilt. Although, curiously, despite the change, I still travel around in a hand basket. What do you suppose that means?<\/p>\n Jewish? Nah, Seinfeld already did that bit to death, and besides the only yiddish I know is schmok.<\/p>\n Which is a penis.<\/p>\n Or an asshole.<\/p>\n That is, it really means penis but I call assholes that as well. Not real assholes, but people who are acting like assholes. \u00a0They\u2019re schmoks. Like Rush Limbaugh.<\/p>\n I digress. It\u2019s far too late now to switch religions again. I\u2019m well into this lupus thing and if I can\u2019t find any good jokes, I\u2019m going to have to make some up!<\/p>\n Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm OH!\u00a0Okay, okay, okay\u2026.I\u2019ve got one.<\/p>\n A Lupus patient<\/strong>, a Multiple Sclerosis patient and a Fibromyalgia patient all walk into a bar\u2026\u2026..mmm, nah\u2026that\u2019s not going to work. Most of us can\u2019t walk half the time.<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019ll have to think about it some more. Hmm.<\/p>\n In the meantime<\/strong>, and in the spirit of this\u00a0exercise\u00a0in desensitization, and<\/em> in homage and gratitude to the awesome mystery man who only wanted to make a few sick people laugh, here is the joke he posted. Enjoy!<\/p>\n During the service<\/strong>, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express thanks for prayers which had been answered.<\/p>\n A lady stood up and came forward.<\/p>\n She said, \u201cI have a reason to thank the Lord. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn\u2019t know if they could help him.\u201d<\/p>\n You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.<\/p>\n She continued, \u201cJim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim\u2019s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.\u201d<\/p>\n Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.<\/p>\n She continued, \u201cNow, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor\u2019s say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.\u201d<\/p>\n All the men sighed with relief.<\/p>\n The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say.<\/p>\n A man rose and walked slowly to the podium.<\/p>\n He said, \u201cHi, I\u2019m Jim and I would like to tell my wife, the word is \u2018sternum.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n Just so you all know right up front: I got lupus for the lupus jokes. You see, I figured, If I had lupus, then I could tell lupus jokes and no one would be offended because I HAVE lupus. In hind sight this may have been a bad move. I probably should have done a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":815,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,2,18,19],"tags":[20,21,22,23,24],"class_list":["post-5","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging","category-empower-network","category-living-with-sle-subcutaneous-lupus-erythmatosus","category-writing","tag-catholics-vs-protestants","tag-good-religious-jokes","tag-jokes-about-lupus","tag-lupus-jokes","tag-people-need-to-lighten-up"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/815"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5\/revisions\/37"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/lwarren\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\u00a0Speak your mind. Blog! Get started now!<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"