Mike Whitfield weighed 300 pounds at just twenty-eight years old. Each night, after arriving home from his corporate job and while deciding what he was going to have for dinner, he\u2019d eat a large bag of potato chips. After sitting on the couch and playing video games, he\u2019d then make a large frozen pizza and finish it off with a big bowl of ice cream.<\/p>\n
Mike\u2019s weight ballooned until one day he couldn\u2019t see his shoes. All of this happened because he kept lying to himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI told myself, \u2018I can\u2019t stop eating chips at night. That\u2019s how I relieve stress after work.\u2019 And I also said \u2018I can\u2019t exercise because I\u2019m too big and out of shape.\u201d<\/p>\n
But then one day he just stopped thinking that way \u2013 and stopped lying to himself \u2013 and decided that he could do those things.<\/p>\n
\u201cI overcame these thoughts by going to the gym after work instead of hitting the couch and eating potato chips. I also signed up for a 10k run months before the event so that I had a deadline and pressure to train for it,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n
Within days he had stopped eating junk food before dinner. By the end of the month he\u2019d lost sixteen pounds. In 6 months, he\u2019d shed 75 pounds of fat. Two years later, he was down 105 pounds, and he\u2019s kept that off for over nine years. At the same time he\u2019s become a rising star in the fitness industry, earning the first ever Turbulence Trainer of the Year award at my annual fitness summit.<\/p>\n
Mike\u2019s changed his life and it all started by telling himself the truth.<\/p>\n
He went from telling himself the \u201cI can\u2019t do that\u201d lie to being able to handle the \u201cYes, I will do this\u201d truth.<\/p>\n
How many times have you told yourself a similar lie? Not just when it comes to junk food, but when it comes to changing any of your bad habits in life.<\/p>\n
How many times have you said, \u201cOh, I can\u2019t go without checking my email until 9am\u201d?<\/p>\n
How many times have you said, \u201cI just couldn\u2019t survive without my morning coffee and donut\u201d?<\/p>\n
How many nights have you said, \u201cThere\u2019s just no way I can get to bed before 10pm\u201d?<\/p>\n
The biggest lie we tell ourselves is \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d. I can\u2019t do this or I can\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n
Sometimes it\u2019s not your fault. Often other people initiate the lie, telling us that we\u2019re not good at something, and then we reinforce it year after year.<\/p>\n
For example, in his excellent book, \u201cWhat Got You Here Won\u2019t Get You There\u201d, Marshall Goldsmith recounts the story of how he was once told that he wasn\u2019t mechanically adept. He reinforced this belief on himself for decades without even trying to test whether this axiom was true or false. Finally, one day, he put himself through a course and found that he was in fact quite good at mechanics. But he had wasted years telling himself the lie that \u201cHe can\u2019t\u201d.<\/p>\n
Like you and Marshall, I\u2019ve told myself similar lies for years.<\/p>\n
It used to be that \u201cI can\u2019t get up before 6am\u201d and \u201cI couldn\u2019t exercise before lunch\u201d. Both of these small white lies were overcome by changing my thinking and putting the lies to the test. But we often don\u2019t challenge ourselves. It usually takes the intervention of others to get us to test the truth of our lies.<\/p>\n
One day I made the mistake of trying to pass off a big lie while in the company of ETR Publisher Matt Smith. We were talking about the importance of live events in the Early to Rise world.<\/p>\n
\u201cI dunno Matt,\u201d I said, preparing to deliver my lie, \u201cI can\u2019t do that. I just don\u2019t have the energy to answer questions all day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Matt, the human polygraph, just looked at me with his patented incredulous look.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
And then he raised the eyebrow and said again, \u201cREALLY?\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s all he needed to say. He called my bluff. The charade was over. I was caught in the lie. The truth was I just didn\u2019t want to do it. It wasn\u2019t that I physically couldn\u2019t do it. In fact, I hadn\u2019t even tried to do it.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s how it is for all of us.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not that we can\u2019t get up earlier, or go to bed earlier, or make time to work on our side business early in the morning or late at night. It\u2019s just that it\u2019s easier for us to say that we can\u2019t\u2026and to use that as the excuse, rather than to put ourselves to the test outside of our comfort zones.<\/p>\n
The worst part about telling ourselves the big \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d lie is that we aren\u2019t even trying.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s one thing to quit. At least you started. But when we tell ourselves the \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d lie, we do so without even having had the courage to try in the first place. And that\u2019s the ultimate weakness. Not trying.<\/p>\n
When you combine your ultimate weakness with your biggest lie you end up with a life of frustration, a lack of progress, and the dishonor of knowing that you are avoiding self-growth in order to remain in the safe confines of your comfort zone.<\/p>\n
We lie to protect ourselves. And it works. It saves us from social and physical discomfort\u2026in the short-term. But in the long run, it makes us weakened slaves shackled to a lifetime of unfulfilled potential.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t move to another country and learn another language even though it promises me better opportunities.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t go without bread at meals or my morning donut before lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t follow my dreams and start my own business even though it would allow me to help thousands of other people.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t tell anyone how I feel even though it would strengthen our relationship and encourage more open and honest communication.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can\u2019t, I can\u2019t, I can\u2019t\u201d really means \u201cI won\u2019t, I won\u2019t, I won\u2019t even try.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to protect myself and stay safe from harm and I darn well plan on keeping it that way. That\u2019s what \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d really means.<\/p>\n
But is it true that you can\u2019t?<\/p>\n
Really?<\/p>\n
REALLY?<\/p>\n
The truth is you don\u2019t want to. At least be honest. Start with that. Then see where you can go from there. Take a tiny step into the waters of Lake Cant and see if perhaps it\u2019s not as cold, dark and deep as you thought it once was.<\/p>\n
The legends of the bogeyman in the closet and monsters under the bed are fine for children. But they are expected to grow out of these fears and excuses. And they are expected to realize that their fears are all in their minds.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s time we learned this as well.<\/p>\n
The next time you say, \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d, follow that up by yelling out, \u201cWhy Not?\u201d<\/p>\n
Do it and answer honestly.<\/p>\n
Is it that you can\u2019t or that you won\u2019t?<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll realize that the invisible brick wall between you and \u201ccan\u201d has only been erected in your mind. It is almost never a physical limitation.<\/p>\n
Your body is capable of surviving without bread, your mind can be trained to fall asleep before 10pm, and you can learn a new language at any age. You can make time for exercise and for working on a side Internet business at home, either before or after work.<\/p>\n
You can, you can, you can. You are not too old to change.<\/p>\n
It all starts with saying, \u201cI Can, I Will, I Am\u201d.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s stop lying to ourselves.<\/p>\n
Really.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mike Whitfield weighed 300 pounds at just twenty-eight years old. Each night, after arriving home from his corporate job and while deciding what he was going to have for dinner, he\u2019d eat a large bag of potato chips. After sitting on the couch and playing video games, he\u2019d then make a large frozen pizza and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":642,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[33],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-self-improvment"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/642"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/empowernetwork.com\/janisanj\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}