Hey, you don\u2019t have to take it THIS far.<\/p>\n
This week in unfortunately true clich\u00e9s: Nice guys really dofinish last, according to a new study from Princeton University.<\/p>\n
Researchers\u00a0recruited 133 people and asked each to craft an email that included words from a predetermined list. For some participants, the goal of the email was to appear warm and friendly. For others, the goal was to appear competent. Many of the words from the list\u2014such as\u00a0exquisite<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0commendable<\/em>\u2014projected both competence and warmth, according to the study. Other words, like\u00a0inept<\/em>\u00a0and\u00a0happy<\/em>, were associated only with competence or warmth, respectively.<\/p>\n The researchers then examined the words the participants chose and rated each in terms of warmth and competence. Here\u2019s what they found out: Those aiming to seem friendly chose words that lowered their competence score roughly 11 percent. On the flip side, among those attempting to seem skilled, warmth scores fell almost 7 percent.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s a trade-off between warmth and competence,\u201d says study author Deborah Son Holoien, who researches social psychology at Princeton. Put simply, appearing friendly can make people believe you\u2019re less smart and savvy than if you toned down your positive vibes, Holoien explains, citing additional studies. (Watch THIS video to learn\u00a0How to Get People to Like You.)<\/p>\n Why? The character traits associated with warmth\u2014such as friendliness, morality, and selflessness\u2014are very different than those associated with competence, which include intelligence, self-confidence, and skill, Holoien explains. Also, we may regard those who seem cold as more capable because they represent a potential threat or enemy, she adds.<\/p>\n But if you think this news gives you free reign to start acting like a total dick at the office, think again. \u201cIdeally, someone who wants to give the impression of professional competence should\u00a0only slightly<\/em>\u00a0tone down how warm they appear,\u201d\u00a0Holoien says.<\/p>\n So how do you straddle that line between Mel Gibson and Ned Flanders? Strike the right balance with these tips from\u00a0Mickey Parsons, MCC, founder of The Workplace Coach, an executive coaching firm in Atlanta.<\/p>\n No Crazy Emails Keep Tabs on Your Colleagues<\/strong> Wow Them with Words Click to view original content<\/p>\n |\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014|<\/span><\/p>\nMORE USEFUL STUFF<\/h2>\n
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\n<\/strong>The problem with office email is that it\u2019s highly subjective, Parsons explains. \u201cDifferent personality types may interpret the exact same sentence differently.\u201d For that reason, you\u2019ll want to stay polite and to the point. Always include a meaningful subject line\u2014an explicit, concise subject like, \u201cThursday Afternoon Meeting about Ad Sales\u201d has a better chance of getting opened than \u201cMeeting\u201d\u2014and a friendly greeting (such as \u201cDear\u201d or \u201cHi\u201d). Don\u2019t ramble, give the email a good once-over before you click send, and try to keep the exclamation points and thank-yous to a minimum to avoid seeming effusive, Parsons adds. (Discover\u00a07 More Ways to Write the Perfect Office Email.)<\/p>\n
\nAre you leading your teammates on an important project and want to check how their work\u2019s coming along? First, understand that asking in person will apply more pressure than asking via email, which may be better if you\u2019re worried the job isn\u2019t getting done, Parsons says. In either case, he recommends asking for a \u201cstatus update\u201d well before the assignment is due. This gives the person time to self-correct and still meet the deadline. If your colleague says he\u2019s fallen behind, or hasn\u2019t gotten the ball rolling, ask how you can help him get on track. \u201cA comment like this is direct and supportive without letting the individual off the hook,\u201d Parsons says.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>Stuck in a testosterone-packed group meeting? Find the right time to speak up. \u201cMen tend to be more assertive in meetings, so timing can be an important factor,\u201d Parsons says. He recommends preparing key talking points ahead of time, and jumping into the conversation with a \u201cyes and\u201d comment such as, \u201cThat\u2019s a good point. And to build on that, I think . . .\u201d You\u2019ll take control without pissing anyone off, Parsons adds. And once you start talking, remember: \u201cTwo or three well-thought-out comments can pack more punch than a dozen babbling ones.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n